‘Bloody cheek! I’ll sleep on it.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Yi honoured his end of the bargain. They were given a room to themselves overlooking the upturned roofs of the city, unheard of for mere slaves.
Their beds were raised platforms with poles at each corner from which a red cloth curtain hung on three sides. The mattress was a woven rush matting and the pillow a polished woodblock, cut away where the head would rest. There was also a black lacquered low table; stools with cunningly crafted paw-shaped legs; a side table with drawers and some colourful hangings.
Nicander stretched out. ‘So, we’re here in Sinae – or I should say Chayna. But in the name of all that’s holy, just what’s waiting in store for us?’
‘Pig swill and insults,’ Marius came back. ‘Expect that, and you won’t be disappointed.’
‘Don’t come it the Cynic, Marius. If I’ve learnt anything from our adventuring it’s that you can go from king of the world to boot-licker slave in the blink of an eye. More the Stoic is the thing – we don’t know our destiny therefore we do what we can to make our present existence as tolerable as possible.’
‘Where’s your pride, Greek? We’re from a great country and don’t belong here. We’re going back to where we can hold our heads up, sup on decent vittles and-’
‘Marius. My friend,’ Nicander said gently. ‘Don’t torture yourself with thinking we can return one day. You’ve seen the seas are swarming with pirates, we’d be taken again and be in worse straits. In any case, even if we did find the gold to hire a ship, where would we tell him to go? I’ve no idea which direction Constantinople is, have you?’
‘I’m not a quitter! While I’ve got breath I’ll go after any way that sees me back with my kind.’
A stable boy arrived with their supper, two bowls of rice topped with chicken wings. He put the food down on the table, trying not to stare at them.
‘Rice, bloody rice! Don’t they have anything else?’ Marius grumbled but he tucked in hungrily.
Shortly after they had finished their meal Yi appeared at the door.
‘Comfortable?’
Nicander looked up. ‘Why, yes, Mr Yi.’
He gave an ill-natured grunt. ‘Don’t count on it, you bastards. I’ve got a lot riding on your performance and unless you come up with-’
‘In a couple of days you shall have such an act as will have them marvelling. Leave it to us.’
‘Nico, you’d better have this act worked out pretty good, or we’ll be in big bother with Yi.’
‘I have something in mind. Don’t forget, I’m a Greek.’
‘What’s that got to do with it?’
‘Saving your presence, Marius, we Greeks are the origin of civilisation, creating high culture even before you Romans hacked down your first barbarian. Then we were overmastered by you lot, who admired us so much you imported us in quantities to entertain you.’
‘So?’
‘Well, then we had us Greeks and our delicacies and refinement, being asked to lay it before those whose sensibilities are, should we say, yet to reach full flower.’
‘What’s your point?’
‘It is to say that we found a way to do it. Every time we were told to declaim a noble piece of art to such… we put on an act! One calculated to please. It never failed.’
Heading off an angry retort Nicander went on quickly, ‘So here we have a culture without philosophy, science and poetry. And we Greeks – and I count you as an honorary Greek, Marius – will go before them and give them what they want.’
‘Ha! Not me! I’d rather die in a ditch than take on pansy Greek ways! No act – I’m a Roman, bugger it!’
‘Marius, I don’t think you have a choice…’
Their ‘togas’ were now trimmed with purple, a capital offence in Rome. They contrived a pair of sandals each. Yi grinned at these; the Chinese would regard it as a shameful display of the naked foot.
Their hair was dressed to fetching curls, and they wore ‘laurels’, woven from the leaves of the tao chu tree. Yi insisted they use women’s white facial powder, which together with the kohl made them fearsome foreign devils indeed.
‘Are you prepared yet?’ Yi nervously blustered. ‘Hao presses me, the villain, and I can’t hold off for much longer.’
‘We’re ready, Beastmaster. Tomorrow night?’
‘Right! If it doesn’t…’ He made a cutting-the-throat motion, glared at them both, and stalked off.
They were taken along myriad passageways, past ornamental gardens and ponds of golden fish and into a high antechamber. The hum of conversation came from a larger room nearby.
The guards in the doorway were dressed in flowing full-length russet gowns over which they wore long purple surcoats with enormous sleeves. Each had a sword held upright in a ceremonial scabbard nearly half their height.
Nicander marvelled at the workmanship, the sense of style that was so alien, yet so elegant.
Then his mind snapped alert. He would soon be going on before this emperor and his full court.
Yi was nervously tapping his side. Marius stood grim-faced in his Roman costume.
An ill-tempered bellow erupted above the chatter and noise.
‘Get ready!’ Yi hissed.
The conversations died, replaced by a scraping of furniture, then silence.
Nicander peeked into the room. It was in shadows, lamps glimmering warm and gold but enough to see the audience. In the centre of the far side was a raised dais, shrouded in yellow muslin. On either hand were opulent figures in luxurious silks and elaborate headgear. Their jewels picked up the light in a dazzling display.
Yi scuttled in with a well-practised welcome and the patter of an introduction, then called out loudly in Aramaic, ‘Now, the foreign devils!’
At a signal from Yi, Marius marched in and halted, looking about him as though affronted. ‘I’m a Roman and proud of it!’ he roared, daring any to deny it.
To the side Yi translated with pop-eyed histrionics.
There was absolute silence and some of the ladies recoiled at the fearful sight.
‘Tremble all who see me, you bastards!’ bellowed Marius.
Whatever was translated brought a sudden snort of mirth from behind the curtain, which was instantly followed by a general tittering.
‘Is there any witless bugger here wants to argue?’
Marius paced about, glaring first at one individual then another. They jerked back in fear.
Yi rolled his eyes and burst into animated commentary which brought an excited buzz and laughter.
This was Nicander’s cue. ‘Hey ho, old friend!’ he said airily, as he strolled into the centre of the room.
Marius looked at him. ‘Hello, you old bastard,’ he boomed. They faced each other and began a complicated ritual of greeting, loosely based on the Moorish touching of head, lips and heart repeated several times.
Yi gabbled away and it brought a sudden roar of laughter.
‘Shall we eat at a tavern?’ Nicander suggested. This was relayed on; there was an immediate silence of anticipation.
‘Where?’ said Marius, shading his eyes and looking about him. This was met by another roar and those at the back pressed forward eagerly to see.
Yi gestured impatiently; a table and two stools were brought in.
‘Ah. We’ll go there.’
Nicander and Marius sat with much ceremony.
‘Serving boy!’
Yi scurried up with a slate, bowing and scraping.
‘Do you have any beef?’
Yi ‘translated’, his horrified eyes wide, while the audience convulsed at this reference to actually eating a lowly beast of burden.
Yi turned back and shook his head sorrowfully.
‘Then we’ll have lamb.’
In his aside Yi could hardly contain himself and the room bayed with laughter.
He turned back in mock solemnity and shook his head again.
‘What a useless tribe of shite-hawks. Then we’ll have something else,’ Marius said loudly, banging the table.
Yi’s translation brought a mix of hesitant laughter and apprehension. He beamed and made a quick exit.
He reappeared grandly bearing their repast, miming avoiding the ‘stench’ of a giant, swollen rat. There was a hiss of indrawn breath and the room fell quiet.