A single thought came: in those dark masses were tons’ weight of silk – he’d seen with his own eyes the watery yellow skeins of the raw thread and the breathtaking brilliance of the finished bolts of fabric. These were going somewhere to the west. And in Justinian’s empire there were merchants getting them from somewhere in the east. He had something he could reach out and touch that was on its way to some noble household in Constantinople. How that happened was their answer!
The Sogdians would never give up their secret of the silk route but he was a canny merchant and he would not rest until he had found a way. His fears eased.
He was about to return when something made him pause. Away from camp lights the moonless dark was held at bay by a tremulous sheen from the star field that blazed overhead. He gazed at it in awe as stealing into his mind came acknowledgement that the Lady Ying Mei was meaning more to him than ever she should.
They had worked closely together on things of beauty and humanity, had revealed to each other things touching deeply on each other – was it any wonder that he had grown close to her, found happiness and fulfilment when with her?
Or was it something deeper? He shied away from the implications and stared out into the desert.
A single pinprick of light showed – too tiny to see from within the encampment. Nicander didn’t need to be told what it was and hurried towards it over the broken ground.
‘How goes your journey?’ Dao Pa said, looking up from his cross-legged position by a neat little fire.
‘I strive for enlightenment, Master. Each day brings a fresh revealing but also a new mystery.’
‘That is well. That is very well,’ the sage said with a slow smile. ‘I expected nothing less from you. Have you your letters yet?’
‘I learn, but I’m far from construing the works of the ancient ones.’
‘There is one helping you.’
‘Yes.’
‘Tell me, what is your conceiving of Meng Tzu, when he declares that all men everywhere are born good at heart?’
‘Master, I’m torn. He brings forward an unanswerable koan – that on seeing a child about to fall in a well there is no man who will shrink from saving it. Yet Hsun Tzu shows that we enter this life evil and that it is only our conscious will that can rule desires, to enable us to rise above our base passions.’
‘Excellent! You are manifestly on your path to the Tao.’
‘Master…’
‘You have doubts.’
‘I… I have a problem of life that troubles me.’
‘Tell me.’
‘It’s a woman. Who has touched my heart that I cannot… who has entered my thoughts and…’
‘And you fear the purity of your quest is at hazard?’
‘She…’
‘Heaven sends lives on courses which are destined to converge. The wise do not confuse this with the chance meeting. One leads to the unity of souls, the other to lust and pollution. Do not ask me to say which it is in your case – you must look in your heart and decide.’
‘You are not… disappointed?’
‘How can this be? I am your teacher and you are a worthy disciple. You will know how to act in this, for you are well advanced in the Tao. If she is destined for you then your life is hers. If not, then it may be you will raise your enlightenment to the level where your life belongs to your disciples. That is the Way.’
‘Master-’
‘Your life lies ahead of you. I have set you on your path and I know you will fulfil your destiny with understanding and wisdom. I am content.’
‘But…’
‘I now take my leave of you on this earthly plane. Hold fast to what you have learnt, and you can clutch to your bosom even to the grave that you are pure of heart and intent. Farewell, Ni K’an Ta – lao na.’
Marius was in no doubt about it when he returned to their tent. ‘The woman’s getting to you,’ he snapped. ‘I told you!’
‘Leave me be,’ Nicander muttered. There was far too much to think on.
‘You’ve got to do something about it, Nico. We’ve only to get her across the mountains to the west and then we’re rid o’ the woman. If you let her foul up your wits now we stand to lose everything.’
‘It’s not like that…’
‘Don’t you forget that half o’ what we’ve got in the box is mine and-’
‘I haven’t forgotten! Now just piss off!’
He had to face that his heart was taken by Ying Mei. He should have seen it coming, the way that she had crowded into his thoughts, the rising tenderness of his feeling toward her – and the melting helplessness that her gaze on him brought.
And Marius was right: he had to do something about it. Every piece of him cried out – to let it free, throw himself down before her and declare his passion.
But this could be the worst move: it supposed that she felt the way he did, but if she didn’t, he would lose everything.
Was there a halfway point – in some way or other enabling him, without revealing his true feelings, to let it be known to her that he was interested and see if she responded.
She would no doubt be scandalised at his behaviour as a holy man. He could let her know privately that he was not one, in fact, but then all the trust and confidence that was allowing her to get close to him would vanish.
He was in the worst of all worlds and when they reached Aksu he would need all his wits about him. Damn it! Why was life so complicated!
CHAPTER FIFTY
After they made their last stopping place, Taw came striding across with his acolytes.
‘Greetings, Ni lao na.’ His manners were faultless but there was an air of menace. ‘Shall we talk?’
He motioned his group to one side. ‘On the morrow we reach Aksu.’
‘As I’ve heard.’
‘The sutras teach us that it is more worthy to show mercy to a weevil than fawn upon a dragon.’
‘Yes,’ Nicander replied carefully.
‘Then this is why I’m here. Should you readily confess who you are, that you are not holy men, and if you then place yourselves in my hands in the matter of punishment, then I am mindful to be merciful, and will intercede for you tomorrow.’
‘What do you mean, Taw?’
‘The kingdom of Aksu is staunch for the teachings of the Enlightened One, having monasteries and temples beyond counting, and is well known to me. There, the penalties for false representing are severe. Should any lay a complaint of you when we arrive it will be regarded very seriously. As lama of this region I shall be consulted and, with the evidence I have seen with my own eyes on this journey, there will be little doubt of the verdict.
‘The customary penalty for those falsely representing, together with those aiding and abetting the offence, is to be sold into slavery for not less than seven years’ servitude.’
With a slow smile he added, ‘You have until we sight the walls of Aksu, Ni.’
‘The bastard means Ying Mei as well,’ Nicander blurted.
Marius stood dark and brooding. ‘I should slit the bugger’s throat!’
‘And be a murderer? No – looks like he’s got us where he wants us. He’s in thick with the kingdom authorities and they’ll have a short way with us. Our only chance is to do as he says and give up and confess our sins.’
‘That’s stupid – they’ll throw us into slavery. We’ve got to get out of this ourselves.’
‘How?’
An hour later they were no nearer a solution.
‘We’re going to have to tell Ying Mei,’ Nicander said finally.
The two arriving at her tent was enough to alert her that something was wrong. They quickly let her know what had happened.
‘This is very serious – the Buddhists are jealous of their position with the people and persecute those they think are undermining this. There’s only one way to avoid being taken – we must leave the caravan. Now.’
Marius laughed dismissively. ‘Mountains to the right, a deadly desert to the left. We can’t go forward with ’em, so we have to go back. And that delivers us straight into the arms of the Uighur gangs following us, waiting for stragglers. Without the protection of the caravan we’re-’