“It is always very interesting to hear about one’s family, and before this I had had only Grand’mere.”
” She is a good woman,” he said. “She stood up to my father. The only person who ever has. I think he has a grudging admiration for her. He it was who sent you with her into England to be with that branch of the family there who call themselves Sallongers. And now … you have married one of them.”
Each day I learned more and we grew closer.
Meanwhile the Countess had found exactly what she wanted, It was a shop, small but elegant and close to the Champs-Elysees.
“A good spot,” declared the Countess. “It is just the thing.”
She was eager for my father to see it, which he did and approved wholeheartedly.
I loved the Champs-Elysees, the Cours la Reine and the magnificent Arc de Triomphe. I loved to see the children at play in the gardens. I thought: I will take Katie there. She shall have a hoop to bowl. It must be beautiful in the summer when the little tables with their brightly coloured umbrellas are brought out.
I was drawn into the excitement of planning for the salon. There were fewer jaunts. My father was almost as excited as the Countess. She herself was working tirelessly. She could not wait to get everything in motion; she chafed against the delays; she wanted to see those splendid creations of Grand’mere’s in that window and several seamstresses working away in the room behind the showroom.
Completing negotiations took longer than we had thought it would. We had been away for six weeks. I felt it was an age since I had seen Katie and I was longing to get back. I had bought her several presents including a big doll which was unlike any doll I had seen before. It was an elegant Parisian lady with clothes which came off and on; and when she closed her eyes, which she did when she was held back-wards, her beautiful lashes lay luxuriantly against her pink-tinted china cheeks.
It was wonderful to be going home. I was on deck for the first glimpse of the white cliffs.
Then there was the journey to London.
They were waiting for us when we arrived. Katie flung herself into my arms.
“Oh Mama … it has been such a long time!”
“We shall never be parted again for so long,” I promised her.
And there was Grand’mere ready to welcome me … but all was not well. Grand’mere’s looks betrayed that.
“How is everything?” I demanded.
“Very well. Very well,” she replied too vehemently, so that I knew that she was not telling the truth. Grand’mere’s face always betrayed her.
There was a great deal of talk. The Countess was bursting with news of our wonderful find in Paris. Soon we should be opening. The formalities drove her mad. Why could not the buying of premises be a straightforward affair? There had to be this … and that … and it was all quite maddening.
Cassie was delighted to see us.
“We’ve been waiting and waiting to hear that you were coming home, haven’t we, Katie?”
Katie nodded. She kept close to me holding my hand as though to prevent my going away again. I was very touched.
I had the news from Grand’mere that night after everyone had retired. I went to her room and demanded to know what was wrong.
She looked at me steadily for a few moments and then she said: “Drake is getting married.”
“What?” I cried. “To Julia,” she added. I could only stare at her, all my dreams of the future suddenly dissolving round me.
“She is sending invitations to the wedding. It is to be in two weeks’ time.”
I could think of nothing to say except, “So … soon.”
“Yes. It seems it was a hasty decision.” She did not meet my gaze. I said: “Oh … well… good night.” I had to be alone. I was completely shattered. I felt suddenly numb with misery. I had not realized until then how very much I had cared for him.
I don’t know how I got through the next day. It was hard to keep smiling for Katie. She wanted to know all about Paris. I told her much of what my father had told me. I knew that both the Countess and Cassie were shocked, by the manner in which they meticulously avoided any mention of Drake.
I was bitterly wounded. I thought I should never believe my own instincts again. I had been sure that he loved me.
It was quite impossible to keep up the pretence with Grand’mere.
The next night she came to my room after the household had retired, in the way she always did when there was something to say between us two alone.
She said: ”My darling, you need not pretend with me. I know how you feel. This is one big shock to you. I wondered how best to break it. I am afraid I did it clumsily.”
“No … no, you did not. I had to know quickly.”
“And you cared for him?”
I nodded.
“I did not understand. I thought perhaps it was something you knew … I thought perhaps you had told him you would not marry him … and he had turned to her. I thought you cared for him … and I was happy about that for I thought he was a good man. Oh, mon amour, do not bottle up these feelings. Let go. … It’s only the old Grand’mere… . You and I are too close for pretence.”
“Oh Grand’mere … dear Grand’mere. I feel so … so lost and bewildered. I do not know what I feel.”
She came to me and held me in her arms rocking me as though I were a baby.
She said: “It will pass. All things pass. It is better that you do not marry such a man. He is clearly fickle … not what we thought him.”
“Just because he prefers Julia.”
“But he showed so clearly that he loved you. Then to do this … it is not understandable. He came back the day after you left. He called that very day. Cassie saw him. I made her tell me everything that took place. Poor Cassie! She thought she had done some wrong. He was only in the place five minutes. He asked for you. Cassie said: ‘She has left for Paris. She has gone with Monsieur St. Allengere and the Countess. They are going to look for premises for a salon there. They are very excited about it.’ She said those were her very words. She said his face went very white. He said: ‘I understand. I can’t stay. I must leave at once.’ She said he would not see me. She said he was not exactly curt but determined to go immediately.”
“How very strange. He had always been so friendly with us all.”
“He did not call again. And a little while ago there was this announcement of his engagement to Julia. She came here for her wedding costume.”
“Oh… no!”
“I could not turn down the order. It would have looked so odd. It would have betrayed us. The thing is made now. She’s taken it. I hated doing it. But… what does it matter anyway?”
“Did she say anything about me?”
“Oh yes. She chattered all the time. Wasn’t it wonderful that you were going to Paris at last? She knew it was what you had longed for. Wasn’t life wonderful … full of surprises? And now she was going to be married to that wonderful Drake Aldringham. She said it would be such fun. She had always wanted to be in politics … which she would be with Drake. It would involve a great deal of entertaining. Every man wanted a woman behind him … the right sort of woman. She was going to devote herself to his career.”