Sari’s voice was muffled, as if she was speaking against Damien’s skin. Ava glanced over her shoulder. They were embracing, despite their angry words.
“You told me yourself, Tala insisted on going into that fight. I know my sister. Gabriel knew her, too. He knows this. He may be angry with you, as I was, but he knows his mate would not be held back from battle, whether she was carrying a child or not.”
“He lost so much more than we did, Sari. I have never blamed him for his hatred.”
“Even if he does hate you, he is pragmatic. My presence in Vienna will only bolster the voices on the council who call for the Irina to return.”
They drifted into a quieter argument, and Ava turned back to the book, still trying to concentrate. It was only three in the afternoon, but the sun was already fading. Soon it would be dark. She longed for sleep. Her dreams had been even more vivid in the last nights. Her memories of Malachi gave him life, even if it was only in her own mind. She knew it wasn’t healthy. Knew she was only holding on to an illusion. But for those few precious hours, she wasn’t alone. She’d take them. She’d take anything that let her feel his presence.
She hadn’t seen Jaron again, but the dream of him was far more vivid than any other she’d had. She’d awoken from it feeling perfectly alert. She remembered every word.
“He finds you because he can. Just as I can.”
Who was Jaron talking about? Volund? There was no way of knowing who the Grigori who had found Sarihöfn belonged to because they’d been killed immediately. But Volund was the most powerful Fallen angel in the region, so it seemed logical. But why could Jaron and Volund both find her so easily? According to Orsala, the Fallen had never seen past the spells Sari had worked on the land to shield Sarihöfn. What had caused them to fail?
“I do not know his purpose. Only that he would thwart mine.”
“And what is your purpose?”
“That is not for you to know yet. I gave you my vision once. I will give you others when you need them.”
Why would Jaron give her visions? Despite who he was and how he had lied to her, Ava couldn’t help but sense the Fallen angel did not mean her harm. If he had, he’d had too many opportunities to hurt her and nothing had happened. What did his visions mean? And why could she show them to the other Irina through her song?
“Ava?”
She heard Sari’s voice but didn’t turn from staring out the window. “What’s up?”
“We’ve decided to stay here for a few more nights. I know it’s crowded in Renata’s flat, but—”
“It’s fine.” She closed the book and turned. “I’m fine. Have we decided what to do after that?”
Damien had disappeared to who-knows-where, but Sari sat next to her.
“He’s still voting for the scribe house in Cappadocia.”
“It is very isolated. I felt very safe there.”
“And I’m sure they would welcome us. They’re very old-fashioned, and Orsala would be highly regarded.”
“But you don’t want to go there?”
Sari shook her head. “No.”
“Why?”
“I’m tired of hiding. This struggle between Irin and Irina, it has to end. I can see that now. Just like my anger with Damien, we have let it fester until we are dying from the inside. If we continue like this, sunk in bitterness, anger, and willful misunderstanding, then the Grigori don’t have to kill us. We’ll die anyway.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to go to Oslo and see some friends. Contact a few allies. Then I want the Irina to return to Vienna.”
Ava’s eyebrows rose. “I don’t see you as much of a politician.”
She smiled. “I’m not. But my grandmother once sat on the council. And our elders’ seats have been empty too long. We are the ones who stepped away. For us to come back, we must be the ones to return. Then we will no longer be silent.”
“The other Irina—the others in hiding—they may not agree with you.”
“Then I will find them and convince them. If I can convince my stubborn mate,” Sari said, “I can convince anyone.”
“What about me?”
“You need to go to Vienna, too. It’s time to show yourself to the Irin world.”
Ava’s heart began to race. “I… I don’t think that’s a very good—”
“He was right, you know?” Sari nodded. “Malachi. You are a miracle. It was a miracle that you survived in the human world as long as you did. It was a miracle you found Malachi and Damien in Istanbul.”
“They kind of found me.”
“And if they found you, they can find others. Don’t you think there are others out there, Ava? Sisters lost in the human world? I don’t know how, but I do think they’re out there. We have to find them. Show them who they really are.”
“I have a feeling that not everyone is going to like that idea.”
Sari gave her a rueful smile. “Then it’s a good thing I’ve never cared much about being liked.”
“Where are you?” His voice was urgent, even as he braced himself over her, covering her body with his as they lay under the forest canopy.
“Right here,” she breathed out.
Her heart raced. She held on to him, pulling him down until the broad planes of his chest pressed against her. Her lips tasted the skin of his neck. Her teeth caught his ear.
“Where… where are you, Ava?” He almost sounded like he was in pain. “I need to know.”
She frowned, confused, then pushed him back so that she straddled his hips. “I’m here. With you.” Leaning down, she pressed a kiss over his heart. “Always with you.”
“I came back to you, Ava.”
She felt a phantom pain shoot through her chest. “I know.”
“Truly.” He pulled her down, capturing her lips with his own, their breath mingling in the cold night air. It misted around them, though she didn’t feel the cold. The fog was only a blanket, concealing them from the shadows of the forest. “I came back to you. And I must find you. You need me.”
“So much.” The tears stung her eyes and she tried to focus on his presence. The energy she felt between them. It was everything—everything—she needed. She only had it here. Fleeting. She knew it wouldn’t last. She closed her eyes, desperate to hold on to the comfort of his touch.
He kissed her again, gripping the back of her hair with one strong hand. A sharp pain shot through her.
Pain?
He pulled his lips away. “I need to know where you are, Ava. You need me to find you.”
The pain distracted her from the pleasure of his kiss. “I don’t understand.”
“Where are you?”
For a moment, the voice came from outside. From another place that chilled her. An echo of his voice, then another, layered on top of it. She stilled, pulling away from him.
“What is this?”
“Dream…” He clenched his eyes shut, shaking his head. “It’s a dream… but not a dream. It’s… it’s more, Ava. I can’t… I don’t know how to tell you.”
For the first time since he’d found her, dread touched her heart. “No.”
“Don’t pull away.” He reached for her, but she was already across the meadow. “Ava!”
Fear and confusion filled the space between.
“I don’t understand.” Tears slid down her cheeks. Hot. Painful. Cold wind bit her ankles.
“I’m trying to come back to you!”
“Why am I afraid?”
“Because I am! I need to find you, Ava.”
She blinked as the memory came crashing down. His face, dissolving into gold dust. She looked down, and muddy water swirled around her feet.
“You left me,” she whispered into the darkness. “And you can’t come back.”