“It’s fine.” She closed the book and turned. “I’m fine. Have we decided what to do after that?”
Damien had disappeared to who-knows-where, but Sari sat next to her.
“He’s still voting for the scribe house in Cappadocia.”
“It is very isolated. I felt very safe there.”
“And I’m sure they would welcome us. They’re very old-fashioned, and Orsala would be highly regarded.”
“But you don’t want to go there?”
Sari shook her head. “No.”
“Why?”
“I’m tired of hiding. This struggle between Irin and Irina, it has to end. I can see that now. Just like my anger with Damien, we have let it fester until we are dying from the inside. If we continue like this, sunk in bitterness, anger, and willful misunderstanding, then the Grigori don’t have to kill us. We’ll die anyway.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to go to Oslo and see some friends. Contact a few allies. Then I want the Irina to return to Vienna.”
Ava’s eyebrows rose. “I don’t see you as much of a politician.”
She smiled. “I’m not. But my grandmother once sat on the council. And our elders’ seats have been empty too long. We are the ones who stepped away. For us to come back, we must be the ones to return. Then we will no longer be silent.”
“The other Irina—the others in hiding—they may not agree with you.”
“Then I will find them and convince them. If I can convince my stubborn mate,” Sari said, “I can convince anyone.”
“What about me?”
“You need to go to Vienna, too. It’s time to show yourself to the Irin world.”
Ava’s heart began to race. “I… I don’t think that’s a very good—”
“He was right, you know?” Sari nodded. “Malachi. You are a miracle. It was a miracle that you survived in the human world as long as you did. It was a miracle you found Malachi and Damien in Istanbul.”
“They kind of found me.”
“And if they found you, they can find others. Don’t you think there are others out there, Ava? Sisters lost in the human world? I don’t know how, but I do think they’re out there. We have to find them. Show them who they really are.”
“I have a feeling that not everyone is going to like that idea.”
Sari gave her a rueful smile. “Then it’s a good thing I’ve never cared much about being liked.”
“Where are you?” His voice was urgent, even as he braced himself over her, covering her body with his as they lay under the forest canopy.
“Right here,” she breathed out.
Her heart raced. She held on to him, pulling him down until the broad planes of his chest pressed against her. Her lips tasted the skin of his neck. Her teeth caught his ear.
“Where… where are you, Ava?” He almost sounded like he was in pain. “I need to know.”
She frowned, confused, then pushed him back so that she straddled his hips. “I’m here. With you.” Leaning down, she pressed a kiss over his heart. “Always with you.”
“I came back to you, Ava.”
She felt a phantom pain shoot through her chest. “I know.”
“Truly.” He pulled her down, capturing her lips with his own, their breath mingling in the cold night air. It misted around them, though she didn’t feel the cold. The fog was only a blanket, concealing them from the shadows of the forest. “I came back to you. And I must find you. You need me.”
“So much.” The tears stung her eyes and she tried to focus on his presence. The energy she felt between them. It was everything—everything—she needed. She only had it here. Fleeting. She knew it wouldn’t last. She closed her eyes, desperate to hold on to the comfort of his touch.
He kissed her again, gripping the back of her hair with one strong hand. A sharp pain shot through her.
Pain?
He pulled his lips away. “I need to know where you are, Ava. You need me to find you.”
The pain distracted her from the pleasure of his kiss. “I don’t understand.”
“Where are you?”
For a moment, the voice came from outside. From another place that chilled her. An echo of his voice, then another, layered on top of it. She stilled, pulling away from him.
“What is this?”
“Dream…” He clenched his eyes shut, shaking his head. “It’s a dream… but not a dream. It’s… it’s more, Ava. I can’t… I don’t know how to tell you.”
For the first time since he’d found her, dread touched her heart. “No.”
“Don’t pull away.” He reached for her, but she was already across the meadow. “Ava!”
Fear and confusion filled the space between.
“I don’t understand.” Tears slid down her cheeks. Hot. Painful. Cold wind bit her ankles.
“I’m trying to come back to you!”
“Why am I afraid?”
“Because I am! I need to find you, Ava.”
She blinked as the memory came crashing down. His face, dissolving into gold dust. She looked down, and muddy water swirled around her feet.
“You left me,” she whispered into the darkness. “And you can’t come back.”
“No,” he said, running toward her. But no matter how fast he ran, he could not come any closer. “I came back! You brought me back, Ava!”
She shook her head, pulling the darkness around her like a cloak. “No.”
His eyes turned desperate. “Ava, come to me.”
“You’re gone.”
“You must come to me.”
She sank to her knees on the cold ground. “It hurts now.”
“Please!”
“It hurts.”
A hedge sprang up between them, circling her, guarding her. Keeping him away.
“Ava, no!”
The pain that had pierced her heart faded, and his panicked voice grew dim. Faint whispers came from the trees.
“Safe.”
“Careful.”
“Safe, safe, safe.”
“Shhhhhh.”
She closed her eyes and sat on the cold ground, pressing her forehead to her knees and ignoring the small hands that tugged at her shoulders.
“Go back,” the small voices said. “You need to go back.”
No. It wasn’t safe. Something… something was different. And wrong. Something had hurt her outside the hedge.
“We need you to find your way back.”
When Ava opened her eyes, it was dark. She curled to her side and tried to stem the flood of silent tears that washed down her face. For the first time in weeks, there had been no comfort in dreams.
“Not real,” she whispered. “They aren’t real.”
Malachi died again in her heart.
Ava let the darkness take her. She closed her eyes, and she did not dream.
The next day, she walked through the flat like a zombie. Sari and Damien were gone. Orsala was in the apartment with her, but the old woman was studying a book and paid her no attention. She sat near the window, scrolling through the news on Renata’s computer. She recognized a familiar name that brought the hint of a smile to her lips.
“Huh.”
“What is huh?” Orsala asked.
“My dad. He just started a European tour for the New Year. Might try to see him if it works out.”
“Hmm.” She was distracted, flipping through the pages of the book with a frown on her face. “You’ll have to speak to Damien and Sari. See if one of them can go with you to meet him.”
The thought of having to ask permission to see her own father grated on her nerves. “If I want to see Jasper, I’ll see him.”
Orsala’s only answer was a raised eyebrow.
The more Ava thought, the more it seemed like a great idea. Jasper might have been a mess, but he did have lots of security. In fact, she liked his security a lot better than most of the nameless bodyguards her stepfather had hired over the years. Jasper’s guards were big and mean-looking, but they usually had a sense of humor. They’d have to, to work with her father. So what if they were mostly for show? It wasn’t as if Grigori were going to break into a suite at the Four Seasons and kidnap her. No one got kidnapped at a Four Seasons.