‘Lucy?’
She sees me and begins to cry. I wrap myself around her.
‘Are you hurt? Your ankle?’
‘Someone stomped on it. Fin, I thought you were dead.’
‘Can you stand?’ I try to help her to her feet.
She tries but I see her wince with pain when she attempts to walk.
‘Put your arms around my neck.’
She does and I lift her up. I walk back to the car park with her in my arms. She closes her eyes, head against my chest.
‘Tell me when I wake up that this has all been a bad dream,’ she whispers.
Word about the riot has already spread to the car park by the time we get back. Noll is layering up, ready to come looking for us. He visibly relaxes with relief when I walk down the ramp with Lucy. The whole place is subdued with a new tension that evening, nobody feels completely at ease. We eat little and turn in for the night. I hold Lucy close as we sleep.
The mood among our group has flatlined. Except for Max. He deals with uncertainty by maintaining a constant stream of chatter and has taken it upon himself to be chief morale-booster. He does this mainly by telling us inane facts that he learnt from National Geographic.
‘Did you know that octopi are really smart? It’s true. They collect coconut shells and use them to build houses.’
I have one of those moments when my affection for him is so fierce, it is frightening. Somewhere inside I think I should be doing the opposite, I should be trying to let go – trying to let go of him, of everyone, so when the end comes the blow won’t be as hard. But how do you do that?
I wonder how the octopi are doing now, if much has changed for them.
The cold is getting into my bones, burrowing through the blankets like they’re tissue paper. Some of the women in the camp have gone into the shopping centre and collected all the plastic shopping bags. Rosa shows us how they can be torn into strips and knitted into blankets that insulate well. Everyone in the camp starts to work on blankets. It’s weirdly peaceful. Noll and I tear the bags into strips and wind the lengths into balls to be knitted. Lucy knows how to knit and she shows Max how to do it – it’s the kind of weird thing he finds fascinating. The days start to feel different now we have something concrete to work on, there’s a rhythm to them that lifts the mood in the camp and people have started chatting to each other again.
More people come to the car park. More illegals. It makes Rosa nervous, she paces from one camp to another, craning her neck, supervising.
In the middle of the night someone screams and it ricochets around the concrete bunker, stabbing into the silence. There is a scuffle of shadows in the south corner, near the exit ramp. More yelling. People around us start to get up and head toward the noise, carrying torches. We follow.
There is a guy in an army uniform backed up against the wall. Shouts are flung at him and he cowers a little. He holds up his palms like he is trying to calm a pack of wild animals.
‘I’m a deserter, I’m a deserter,’ he repeats. ‘I’m lookin’ for shelter. Please.’
They aren’t listening. The men are shouting at him. Women – mothers – throw random objects, the children copy. One kid, about eight years old, throws a glass bottle and it shatters against the wall.
‘He’s army and now he knows we are here,’ yells someone. ‘We have to deal with him.’
Another guy grabs him by the arm, twists it behind his back. It’s then that I see the army guy has an assault rifle slung across his back. The guy that holds him takes the rifle, passes it to another guy who aims it at the army guy’s head. I move through the people to try to get a better view. Alan is behind me, he yells for calm in his booming voice. Nobody pays any attention.
‘Shoot him!’ yells someone. Others join in. I get close enough to see the army guy’s face. He sees mine.
‘You! Fin!’ he yells. ‘Fin, please!’
People turn and look as if they want to kill me too.
‘It’s okay,’ I say. ‘He’s with me. He’s safe.’
The guy still has the rifle pointed at him. I push my way to the front of the group.
‘He’s safe, let him go. He’s with me. Please, please, put the gun down.’ The guy with the rifle holds my gaze. ‘Please.’
He throws the weapon onto the concrete and shoves the army guy toward me. I lean down and carefully pick up the rifle. People drop their improvised weapons as if they are disappointed that the entertainment is over.
I lead the army guy back to our camp, still holding his gun.
‘This is us,’ I say. He nods. ‘Have a seat.’ I point to the end of my mattress. He nods again and takes his backpack off. Max is staring, wide-eyed, as I carry the rifle to the car and he follows me. I unlock the boot and put the weapon inside.
‘That is so cool,’ says Max.
‘I’m concerned about your perception of cool.’ I close the boot and lock it. The army guy sits, back rigid as if he is ready to jump up again. He unzips his backpack and pulls out a heap of sealed foil packets. The backpack is full of them.
‘Rations,’ the army guy says. ‘I took all I could carry. I’ll share them with yez, if I can stay here.’ He looks to each of us, desperation on his face. ‘Look, there’s more, there’s meat and beans and chocolate—’
‘It’s okay,’ Noll says. ‘We just need to talk.’
The four of us, with Alan, walk a few metres from the camp.
‘What do you think?’ asks Noll.
‘I don’t know,’ says Lucy. ‘Can we trust him?’
‘He didn’t rat on us,’ I say. ‘Besides, I think we need him, his uniform anyway. I might be able to get past the barricade to my mum if I’m in uniform.’
The others agree. Army Guy can stay. When we tell him he nods, a bobbing up and down of his head, his gaze placed somewhere in the middle distance. He begins to put the rations back into his pack and I can see his hands trembling. Lucy crouches down to help him.
Noll drags another mattress over. Alan tries to help but can’t quite manage. I tell him to sit down and he doesn’t argue. Lucy gives Army Guy some blankets. He takes them with a small ‘thank you’ and places them neatly next to himself.
‘So, ah, this is Noll, Lucy, Max and Alan.’
Alan offers his hand. ‘Pleased to meet you, mate.’ Army Guy shakes his hand.
‘Matt,’ he says.
‘You’re the guy from the checkpoint,’ Lucy says.
‘I, um, talked to Matt a bit when I went back that night,’ I explain. I wait for Matt to offer some information about why he’s here, but he says nothing, just sits with his hands kneading at the handle of his pack.
‘Did they move you from border patrol?’ I venture.
‘Yeah. ’Bout two weeks or so ago. Maybe.’
‘Right.’ We all wait. He offers nothing more.
‘Well, you can stay here, son,’ says Alan. ‘If you want to.’
‘Thank you.’
I don’t know if he’s safe. But he gave me the gun back that night and he didn’t squeal on me and Noll at the ration line. He knows things, army things, survival things. He will be useful.
When we turn in for the night, Matt stays awake, knees drawn up to his chin. When I wake in the morning he is in the same position as if he hasn’t moved all night.
In the morning we sit around our fire and talk, although Matt never says anything. Lucy gives him a bowl of rice but he doesn’t eat it and gives it to me instead. Afterwards, Noll, Max, Lucy and I wash our clothes in buckets of icy water and hang them on a line strung between our car and another. Rosa has pegs that she lends to us. I am stretching out the wet slop of my T-shirts when Matt comes up to me, hands stuffed in his pockets.
‘Fin, I was… I just wanna see if…’ He speaks as though he is about to divulge a state secret.