HOW TO ROAST A BONE SWIZZLE: If plastic swizzles are scant, you may be forced to resort to nature. The bone swizzle looks great and shows that you’re not messing around.
Reserve a set of long, small bones from a roasted chicken: thighs, wing bones, or even drumsticks are great. Make sure all the meat and soft material has been gnawed away. Roast at 275°F for 1 to 2 hours, until thoroughly dried out. When finished, your bone swizzle will make an assertive statement in any mixed drink.
CORPSE REVIVER NO. 2
Classic hair of the biter that bit ya. As the original Savoy recipe notes, “four of these will unrevive the corpse again.” An effective weapon against the boozier undead.
serves 1
¾ ounce gin
¾ ounce Cointreau
¾ ounce Lillet Blanc
¾ ounce lemon juice
Absinthe or Pernod
In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, shake the gin, Cointreu, Lillet Blanc, and lemon juice, and strain into a cocktail glass rinsed with a few drops of absinthe or Pernod. Now you’re ready to face the end of the world again.
LIL’ ASS-KICKER PUNCH
This is a southern concoction that kind of sneaks up before it whoops you. Strong and sweet. Not too sweet, though, Sunshine. (Adapted from Punch by David Wondrich.)
makes 26 cups
1½ quarts sweet tea (DIY, or any store-looted brand such as Snapple—but not a fruit-flavored variety)
1½ quarts lightly sweetened lemonade (such as Newman’s Own, if you’re looting)
1½ liters seltzer
1 liter Jim Beam or Jack Daniels—anything strong and southern
¾ liter Myer’s white rum
3 lemons, sliced (optional)
Grated nutmeg (optional)
Stir together all the liquid ingredients in a bucket filled with ice. Garnish with sliced lemons and grated nutmeg, if you can find ’em. Guaranteed to create a swarm—in a good way.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Undying thanks to all the people who helped bring this book to life.
A big zombie hug to the well-seasoned team at Clarkson Potter: Doris Cooper, Erica Gelbard, Shira Gluck, Carly Gorga, Derek Gullino, Stephanie Huntwork, Maha Khalil, Pam Krauss, Jim Massey, Mark McCauslin, Neil Spitkovsky, Jane Treuhaft, and Kate Tyler.
Heartfelt gratitude to the scrappy band of survivors responsible for the photos—splatter photographer Evan Sung, iron-toothed photo assistant Eric Bissell, food and gore stylists Suzanne Lenzer and Ashley Schleeper, and props stylist/armorer Maeve Sheridan.
Thanks to Luke Guldan for backwoods biceps, and Lily Starbuck for wielding a mean peel. Ice cream truck courtesy of Andrew Bozzo of Carpe Donut NYC. Room and board by the immortal Joe Broker.
Thanks to recipe developers Rebekah Peppler and Julia Heffelfinger for ensuring the snacks truly were to die for.
Thanks to heroic agent Janis Donnaud.
My family survived this long zombie apocalypse with patience and grace. In this world, you can’t do nothin’ without your flesh and blood.
INDEX
Note: References in italics indicate photographs.
Angel of Death Brown Sugar Bacon Bites, 1.1, 1.2
Avocados
Backwoods Burrito, 2.1, 2.2
Guac and Load Guacamole, 1.1, 1.2
Backwoods Burrito, 2.1, 2.2
Bacon
Bites, Angel of Death Brown Sugar, 1.1, 1.2
and Spinach, Gutted Mushrooms with, 1.1, 1.2
Turkey Pizza Clubs, 2.1, 2.2
Up All Night Breakfast Sandwich, 2.1, 2.2
Beans
Backwoods Burrito, 2.1, 2.2
Nachos of the Living Dead, 1.1, 1.2
Posthumous Red Chile Hummus
Beef
Backwoods Burrito, 2.1, 2.2
Chupacabra Shepherd’s Pie, 3.1, 3.2
Elbows Casserole
Sloppy José (or Whoever Else)
Unsuspecting Pigs in Blankets, 3.1, 3.2
Whatcha Got Chipotle Cheeseburgers, 2.1, 2.2
Biscuits
Cat Head, with Sawmill Gravy
Dire Ham, 1.1, 1.2
Bloody Walker
Blueberry Muffins, False Sense of Security, 1.1, 1.2
Breads. See also Biscuits
False Sense of Security Blueberry Muffins, 1.1, 1.2
Last Stand Skillet Cornbread with Honey Butter, 2.1, 2.2
Burn-The-House-Down BBQ Sammy
Burrito, Backwoods, 2.1, 2.2
Butterscotch Chocolate Chippers, Virulently Infectious, 1.1, 1.2
Calzone, Oozing Three-Cheese, 1.1, 1.2
Cat Head Biscuits with Sawmill Gravy
Cheese
Backwoods Burrito, 2.1, 2.2
Diesel-Strength Quesadillas, 1.1, 1.2
Elbows Casserole
Fingers, Secret-Ingredient
Gory Red Grinder, 2.1, 2.2
Grilled Pimento, Saving Grace, 2.1, 2.2
Gutted Mushrooms with Bacon and Spinach, 1.1, 1.2
Nachos of the Living Dead, 1.1, 1.2
Secretly Sadistic Jalapeño Poppers, 1.1, 1.2
Semiautomatic Garlic-Parmesan Popcorn, 1.1, 1.2
Survivalist Hero
Threat-Level Muffaletta, 2.1, 2.2
Three-, Calzone, Oozing, 1.1, 1.2
Tuna Salad Meltdowns
Up All Night Breakfast Sandwich, 2.1, 2.2
Whatcha Got Chipotle Cheeseburgers, 2.1, 2.2
Cherry-Chocolate Energy Bars, Till-You-Drop
Chicken
Fingers, Nail-Biter, 3.1, 3.2
Fried, Wrap, Fast and Furious
Squirrel Poppers, 2.1, 2.2
Wings, Napalm Spicy, 1.1, 1.2
Chocolate
-Cherry Energy Bars, Till-You-Drop
Chippers, Virulently Infectious Butterscotch, 1.1, 1.2
Chupacabra Shepherd’s Pie, 3.1, 3.2
Cold-Blooded Ice Cream Bread Sandwiches, 1.1, 1.2
Cookies and bars
Till-You-Drop Chocolate-Cherry Energy Bars
Virulently Infectious Butterscotch Chocolate Chippers, 1.1, 1.2
Corn
Last Stand Skillet Cornbread with Honey Butter, 2.1, 2.2
Secretly Sadistic Jalapeño Poppers, 1.1, 1.2
Cornbread, Last Stand Skillet, with Honey Butter, 2.1, 2.2
Corpse Reviver No. 2
Crabby Prepper Puffs, 1.1, 1.2
Crawfish Étouffée Toasts, Creeping, 2.1, 2.2
Diesel-Strength Quesadillas, 1.1, 1.2
Dips
Guac and Load Guacamole, 1.1, 1.2
Posthumous Red Chile Hummus
Dire Ham Biscuits, 1.1, 1.2