"At length, from everie hutt in the towne, the women and old men brought forth the sundrie dishes of the feast, that had been some daies preparing. To each of us was given a platter of divers foods, and onelie one, wch shew'd, though it was sufficient to fill us with comfort, that none of us were reckon'd as contenders, save onelie Burlingame & Attonce, before whom they set dish after dish. For houres thereafter, while that the rest watch'd in astonishment, the two gluttons match'd dish for dish, and herewith is the summe of what they eat:
Of keskowghnoughmass, the yellowe-belly'd sunne-fish, tenne apiece.
Of copatone, the sturgeon, one apiece.
Of pummahumpnoughmass, fry'd star-fish, three apiece.
Of pawpeconoughmass, pype-fishes, four apiece, dry'd.
Of boyl'd froggs, divers apiece, assorted bulles, greenes, trees, & spring peepers.
Of blowfish, two apiece, frizzl'd & blow'd.
Of terrapin, a tortoise, one apiece, stew'd.
Also oysters, crabbs, trowt, croakers, rock-fish, flownders, clamms, maninose, & such other sea-food as the greate Baye doth give up.
They next did eate:
Of mallard, canvas-backe, & buffle-head ducks, morsels & mix'd peeces in like amounts.
Of hooded mergansers, one apiece, on picks as is there wont.
Of pypers, one apiece, dry'd & pouder'd.
Of cohunk, a taystie goose, half apiece.
Of snypes, one apiece, bagg'd.
Of black & white warblers, one apiece, throttl'd.
Of rubie-throated humming-birds, two apiece, scalded, pickl'd, & intensify'd.
Of gross-beeks, one apiece, bill'd & crack'd.
Of browne creepers, one apiece, hitt.
Of long-bill'd marsh wrenns, a bird, one apiece, growsl'd & disembowell'd.
Of catt birds, one apiece, dyc'd & fetch'd.
Of growse, a legg apiece, smother'd naturall.
Also divers eggs, and bitts & bytes of turkie and what all.
The fowles done, they turn'd to meat, and eat:
Of marsh ratts, one apiece, fry'd.
Of raccoon, half a one apiece, grutted.
Of dogg, equall portions, a sort of spaniell it was.
Of venison, one pryme apiece, dry'd.
Of beare-cubb, a rasher each, roasted.
Of catamount, a haunch & griskin apiece, spitted & turn'd.
Of batts, two apiece, boyl'd, de gustibus & cet.
No rabbitts. While that they eat of these severall meats, there were serv'd to them vegetables, to the number of five: beanes, rockahominy (wch is to say, parch'd & pouder'd mayze), eggplant (that the French call aubergine), wild ryce, & a sallet of greene reedes, that was call'd Attaskus. Also berries of divers sorts, but no frutes, and the whole wash'd downe with glue-broth and greate draughts of Sawwehonesuckhanna, wch signifyeth, bloudwater, a mild spirits they distill out in the swamp.
"The while this wondrous feast was being eat, Wepenter did pownd & stryke Burlingame upon the backe & bellie, to settle his stomacke, and Attonces aides did likewise him smite. After that each course was done, they did both ope there mowths wide, and Wepenter thrust his finger downe Burlingames crawe, & Attonce his owne likewise, or else have recourse to a syrup call'd hipocoacanah, so that they did vomitt what was eat, and cleare the holds for more. The Salvages did leap & daunce the while, and Pokatawertussan twist & wrythe for verie lust upon the rugg, at two such manlie men.
"When at last this Attonce did get him selfe to his redd berries, wch was the final dish, that the Salvages had prepar'd, and he did put one in his mawe, and drop out two therefrom, for want of room, his lieutenant smote him one last blow upon the gutt, whereat Attonce did let flie a tooling fart and dy'd upon the instant where he sat. And was too stuff'd, to fall over. Then did the Salvages on our side crie out, Ahatchwhoop, Ahatchwhoop, signifying, that Attonce was disqualify'd from farther competition. But albeit he was dead, our Burlingame was not yet victor, for that the twain had eat to a draw as far as to there final berrie. It wanted onelie for Burlingame to take but a single swallow more, and our lives were sav'd. We hollow'd at him, we cry'd & intreated, but Burlingame onelie sat still, his eyes rownd, his face greene, his cheeks blown out, his mowth fill'd with berries, and for all our exhortation, cd not eat another bite. Here I leapt up from where I sat, and snatching the last boyl'd batt out of the caldron, pry'd open his jaws & thrust it in. Then held shutt his mowth, and delivering him a stout rapp on the head, did cause him to swallow it down.
"So clearlie then was Burlingame the victor, that Wepenter sprang upon him, and rubb'd his nose against Burlingames, and fetch'd him a loving patt upon the bellie. Whereat Burlingame did heave up what he had eat, and so befowl'd Wepenter therewith, the Salvage must needs hie him selfe to the river-shoar & wash. All the people then declar'd Burlingame Werowance, or King, but he was too ill to grasp there words.
"It being by this tyme nightfall, for that the feast had lasted all the daie, Burlingame was carry'd in state to the old Kings hutt, and there install'd, not able to move, and Pokatawertussan follow'd after, all a tremble. Wepenter meanwhile, did exact allegiance from those Ahatchwhoops, that had been with Attonce, and bade them fetch awaye the dead mans carcase, and wch still sat, for buriall. I told my companie, that we were free men, and wd make sayle on the morrow, at wch tydings they shew'd good humour, though they grasp'd little of what had pass'd.
"When that the sunne rose, we wak'd, and taking provisions a plentie, the gift of Wepenter, made readie to return to our barge, and pick up the broken thread of our journie. This Wepenter was in fine good spirits, and upon my asking, Wherefore? he reply'd, that neare midnight, while that he slept, Pokatawertussan had come to his hutt, albeit she was by custom bound to lye the first night with the proxie. I wonder'd thereat, and Burlingame joyning us at the last minute, even as we left downe the path to the shear, I ask'd him, Had Pokatawertussan earn'd her name? Whereupon he curs'd me ardentlie, and said, That the last boyl'd Batt had so undone him, he knew not where he was the whole night long. That he had not been able even to see any Salvage trollop, how much the less doe a mans work upon her. He was surpassing wroth with me, for having thrust the Batt upon him, and maugre my protestation, that I had spar'd the lott of us therebye, he vow'd afresh to tell his tailing tale on me, and write letters to the London C°, & cet. . I responded, that I had made a pact with him, that shd he win, he cd doe whatsoever he wd, and turning, led my companie downe the path. Burlingame follow'd, in all innocence, till that, to his surprize, the Salvages lay'd hands on him, and maugre his whoops and hollowings, bore him back to the Kings hutt, to reign over them with Wepenter for ever.
"My souldiers and Gentlemen much alarm'd thereat, I made them a speach, that they shd be of good hearte. That the Salvages had demanded Burlingame as tribute for our libertie, and being so few & unarm'd, we had naught for it, but deliver him up & go in peece, onelie bearing his memorie for ever in our heartes. This counsell at length prevayl'd, albeit the companie shew'd great sadnesse, more especiallie the Gentlemen thereof, and we wav'd to Wepenter as we went downe to the barge. For the favour of Princes, even amongst the Salvages, is a slipperie boone, lightlie granted, and as lightlie withdrawn, and we wish'd onelie to retayne it, untill that we were safe againe in our barge, and awaye from this scurvie, barbarous countrie. Whither (God wot) I shall never return, nor yet (God grant) any other Englishman.