Accordingly, he began the process of waking. His muscles softened, his breathing accelerated, and the world began to seem vivid and real again.
The emotions hit.
Sorrow and self-recrimination, knowledge of inadequacy, inferiority, failure—all struck and bore him down. Gregory sat still, trying to relax, trying to let it all wash through him. It did, it passed, but it left him trembling with self-contempt.
Still, if he had failed at human relationships, he knew he could succeed as a wizard—even more, as a researcher who could learn new and varied ways to use psi powers. Resolved to find some way to disable Finister without hurting or killing her, he rose, set and grim, and went to untie his horse, mount, and ride down the woodland path. His first goal must be the nearby village that Finister had claimed was Peregrine's home. Gregory didn't doubt the hamlet was real but was sure the villagers knew nothing of Peregrine and never had. He had to find some way to protect it from the spillover of a psionic battle.
He rode for fifteen minutes, mind open and seeking the village, before he heard its thoughts clearly enough to be sure where it was. He turned his horse off into a deer trail then and rode away from the cluster of huts—its best protection was distance. He pushed aside low-hanging branches, underbrush swiping at his knees.
Then, suddenly, he reined in, stiffening, eyes widening. He had felt it, a resonance, a sort of mental echo, a reverberation and reinforcement of his psionic field. When he was sure the feeling was real and constant, not imaginary, he dismounted, tied his horse, and pushed his way into the forest, through a screen of underbrush, turning a little to his right, then right again around a huge rock, feeling the resonance grow and grow.
Beyond the rock, the land was clear, no shoots or brambles, only emerald grass, thick and soft, cropped low by deer.
Boughs arched high above, the afternoon sun's rays sifting down through a thousand nodding leaf shadows. What lay beneath that turf, Gregory had no idea—perhaps nothing, only a confluence of lines of force, perhaps some strange collection of piezoelectric crystals that reflected his own energies back to him in an endless circle—but whatever it was, it grew stronger and stronger as he paced to the center of the clearing.
Then, suddenly, the feeling thrilled through him from head to toe, rooting him to the spot, filling him, making him feel as though he were swelling, growing ten feet tall, and all his self-doubts fell away as he knew he had found his site of power.
The trance came upon him suddenly, unbidden. He became aware of vast, dim presences, of spirits of a land that had known hundreds of years of telepaths. The forest was rich with witch moss, storing and reflecting their memories, emotions, and knowledge. Bitter and joyful, angry and grateful, vengeful and loving, the paired emotions drove him into a higher and higher state. Dimly he felt the presence of a host of ghosts, women and men flocking to him, attracted by a wizard mind at the site of power. He heard their voices whispering in his ear, confiding the terrors and joys and guilts of their lives, advising him of their successes and failures, their regrets and delights, filling him with the knowledge they had wrung from life, but more often than not, too late.
Now he could see them, dim shades in muted colors, flocking toward him, joining hands, beginning to move in an age-old dance as their advice and experience poured into him. Huge though the site may have made his mind, they filled him—yet he seemed to grow more huge yet. Dazed and awed, knowing but not yet understanding, he let the procession weave about him, sharing thousands of lives with him, he who could focus them and sort them and match them, balancing remorse against a burning and unslaked desire for vengeance, fulfilling regrets—for hurts not returned—with guilty memories, countering joys with sorrows. Through him the restless spirits came each to his or her own resolution, some pairing, many matching, all gaining a sort of peace and filling him with their power in the process. Unheard praises filled his mind, tears of gratitude and unsung tributes, as the specters began to fade, leaving the immensity of their combined experiences, memories, and powers behind—and Gregory knew that he had survived the ordeal, the rite of passage, and become a man grown and a complete human being, truly a wizard in every way.
When they were gone, he thought he must sag, must fall to the ground senseless with the barrage of emotions, thoughts, and memories he had sustained. Instead, he stood straight and tall, vibrant and bursting with power, feeling more alive than ever he had. He let the feeling of exaltation build and peak, then ebb and finally fade, leaving him filled with energy and delighting in existence.
Finally he relaxed with a smile and went off into the forest to bring back armfuls of brush. When he had a pile as high as his waist, he stared at it intently, beginning to move molecules with his mind. When the work was done, he went back to gather more brush, and more. There was much to do and only a few hours left in which to see the task fairly begun.
Alarm thrilled through him, echoes of hatred and shame. He thought another band of ghosts had come to fill him again, but looking up, he saw Finister approaching in her own form, face aflame with passion, with desire and lust for vengeance, and her mind boiled with thoughts of mayhem.
Chapter 16
Finister was astounded to discover Gregory so near to the place in which she had left him. She was even more astounded, almost shocked, to see him calmly dragging brush to the center of the clearing and staring at it while it shrank in on itself, melding into a single substance and hardening into gleaming off-white blocks, very fine-grained, seeming almost translucent, almost to glow with an inner light as they sat there. He had already made a score of them, piling them up by telekinesis, then fusing them together so tightly and making them melt together so that they became one seamless wall. He must have welded their very molecules.
How dare he! Did she mean so little to him that, instead of seeking her, he would cast aside all thought of her and set himself to playing with blocks? How childlike, how feckless, how fickle!
How improbable. The thought gave her pause; he was very deceptive, seeming to have decided on one course of action while he really pursued another. What might it cover, this facade of seemingly aimless play? From hiding, she projected a thought at the blocks, trying to analyze them—and was amazed to find that the cream-colored substance drank up her psionic probe as though it had never been.
So that was it! He was trying to build himself a shelter to protect himself from her! He had feigned desire while he really sought first to trap her, now to wall her out! Blazing with anger, she strode out into the clearing to confront him.
But she was too late for a frontal assault; the wall was already high enough and wide enough to come between them easily. Gregory had only to step behind it to become impervious to any telepathic attack.
That left sex, which hadn't worked, and anger, which she hadn't tried much yet. She advanced on him, crying, "For shame, sir! Would you leave a woman lost and defenseless in so perilous a forest as this?"
Gregory didn't even try pointing out that it was she who had left him—he knew now that emotionally it was the same thing. "Your pardon, lass—but enemies may come and I had need to prepare a shelter."
She noticed he hadn't said whose enemies, or whom the wall was supposed to protect. "And how would you have sheltered me if enemies had fallen on me while you were building here?"
"Indeed, I fear you have the right of it. I should have kept seeking until I found you."
He didn't sound very penitent, though, and her blood boiled at the suggestion that he had indeed searched for her. Of course he had, and of course she had made herself very hard to find. "What manner of guardian are you, sir, who ceases the search so soon? Indeed, if you cared at all for your ward, you would rack the forest for months until you found her!"