And yet if I’d learnt anything in my years it was that life was rarely without danger in one form or another. Oftimes the best thing a man could do was embrace it.
‘I will lead them,’ I said.
Eleven
Only after I’d spoken did it strike me how self-important those words made me sound, and how foolish too. Next to me Robert was frowning, shaking his head slowly. Once more, all eyes were upon me.
‘You?’ Berengar asked. ‘What makes you think you can command such a force?’
‘Peace, Berengar,’ said Fitz Osbern from the head of the table. ‘I can think of no one better suited for the task.’
But Berengar would not listen. He rose to his feet, his expression one of indignance and disgust. ‘You would have him lead this raiding-band?’
‘I see no reason why not,’ Fitz Osbern said mildly, as if the matter were of little account, and the idea that anyone else should take charge were ridiculous.
‘Surely someone with more experience is needed for an undertaking such as this,’ Berengar said. ‘What has he done to merit this?’
To tell the truth his doubts were well placed, though he could not have known it. Never before in all my years of campaigning had I ridden at the head of such an army. Under my old lord I had commanded a whole conroi, and sometimes more than one; when his horse was killed beneath him during the feigned flight at H?stinges I was the one who had rallied his men, all threescore of them, and held off the enemy hordes who pursued us. That was not quite the same thing, admittedly, yet even so I had no doubt that I was capable.
‘Do you have someone better in mind?’ Fitz Osbern asked Berengar. ‘Perhaps you would be willing to take charge of the expedition yourself?’
Berengar opened his mouth as if to protest, but then obviously thought better of it and shut it again. I could see he was torn: on the one hand was the promise of honour and fame, while on the other was the knowledge that should he fail, whatever reputation he had would be tarnished for ever. He gazed down at the table, hardly blinking, his lips set firm.
Fitz Osbern was not about to let him back down so easily. ‘Well, what is your answer?’
‘Lord. .’ Berengar said, and I could see from the frown on his face that he was having to choose his words carefully. ‘If I may say, this whole idea is foolishness. You would send close to two thousand men out into the wilds beyond the dyke, into country that few Frenchmen have ever dared set foot in. If those men are lost, what then?’
‘With every week that passes the Welsh are gathering their strength,’ Earl Hugues put in. ‘If we simply wait for them to come to us then there is no guarantee that we’ll be able to hold them off. Were you not the first to point that out?’
Fitz Osbern nodded, for once it seemed agreeing with the Wolf. ‘Certainly this will be no easy task, Berengar, but I think you rather overestimate the enemy. Since you will not put yourself forward, though, it is of little consequence.’ He turned his attention to me. ‘I believe that Tancred has experience enough. Indeed for the hero of Eoferwic — the man who led the charge against Eadgar?theling, who dared to fight him in single combat — I imagine that the command of a small raiding-party such as this should be a straightforward proposition.’
It seemed I would be forever branded with that feat, despite the fact that it had been borne not from courage but from stupidity, even if I were the only one who understood that. Nevertheless, I sensed a challenge in Fitz Osbern’s words; one that was difficult to back down from. It was only due to his sufferance that I’d been allowed to speak at all this evening. Now I was being presented with the chance for honour and glory greater than any I had won before. Yet if I withdrew my offer then I would be seen as a coward and would lose all the respect I had worked so hard to gain.
‘It is your choice,’ said Fitz Osbern, perhaps sensing my hesitance. ‘Should you wish to decline then I am sure I can find other men who would be only too willing to carry out this task.’
His manner suggested indifference, but I knew he meant it not as a reassurance but as an incitement. There would be no other opportunity like this for some time, if ever. A year spent out here on the Marches had not dulled my yearning for battle. Far from it: the hunger raged inside me and my sword-hand itched with the prospect of adventure.
‘You don’t have to do this, Tancred,’ Robert warned. ‘Remember, you are under no obligation to accept.’
‘Robert is right,’ said Fitz Osbern, his eyes boring into me. ‘You do not owe me anything.’
Nevertheless my mind was set. This was my chance to take the attack to the enemy, to help put an end to the ceaseless raids which had troubled Earnford and everywhere else along the borderlands; a chance, too, to see the black hawk soar proudly as it had not done in over a year, and to lead conrois beneath its wings. Knowing all that, there was only one answer I could give.
‘I will do this, lord,’ I said.
Again a flicker of a smile crossed his face, which surprised me, for Guillaume fitz Osbern was not a man generally known for his humour. Still, his was not a friendly smile but rather one of satisfaction, as if he had expected nothing less from me. As if he had somehow known that I alone of everyone in this chamber would be willing to accept this responsibility, perilous as it was.
A smile that somehow told, in a manner I could not quite understand, of quiet victory.
We made ready to march the next day as soon as first light graced the eastern skies. The last thing Fitz Osbern wanted was for the enemy to get wind of our strategy, which meant that the sooner we could strike, the better. Across the camp men were waking, fires were being lit, horses were being fed. All this I watched from the other side of the river, by the barrow mound that I had chosen as our mustering point. The morning was chill, the wind rising, and I pulled my cloak more tightly around me, folding my arms in front of my chest as I paced about with Serlo and Pons and Turold, waiting for the rest of my party to assemble.
In all I was to be given command of half a thousand fighting men: a conroi of forty from Fitz Osbern’s household, as well as countless lesser lords together with their followers, many of whom I recognised for those who had lent their voices in my support the previous night. Included in that number were half the troops brought by the exiled Welsh brothers Maredudd and Ithel. As armies went it was far from the largest I had ever ridden in, but then our purpose was not to face the enemy in open battle if we could possibly avoid it. Instead we would travel quickly, laying waste as widely as possible, with any luck distracting the enemy while Earl Hugues’s host marched upon them in force from the north.
That, at least, was the plan; we would soon see how successful it proved. Nonetheless, I had confidence in the Wolf in spite of his age. No sooner had Fitz Osbern dismissed us all from his council than the earl had come over in person to wish me luck.
‘You are a brave man,’ he told me. ‘Few would dare accept such a risky enterprise. I wanted to let it be known that you have my respect.’
To hear such words from one so young seemed strange, and were he not already one of the kingdom’s foremost barons and an accomplished leader of men, I might have laughed. Instead I fought against the urge, knowing that it would do me no favours.
‘Thank you, lord.’
He clasped my hand. ‘God willing, one day we will ride together. You can tell me the stories of your exploits then. With luck there will be many more to tell once this is over.’