Today?' Carnelian said, his stomach knotting.
Misery was welling in her eyes. They're sure to want to make an example of him before the Tribe…'
Tears began to spill down her cheeks. Instinctively, Carnelian embraced her, but she pushed him away, running the back of her arm across her eyes, holding on to him tighdy so he would not think she was angry with him.
'It was as much for him as for Poppy that I risked -' 'You think I don't know that?' she said, finding a smile. At that moment one of the children began to whimper.
Carnelian looked furtively round, feeling his gaze was an intrusion.
'Don't expect kindness today,' said Akaisha.
'Fern made it clear I'm not welcome here.'
She raised an eyebrow. 'Men see so little,' she said, and when Carnelian frowned, not understanding, she shook her head. 'He told you he's worried what disaster you being here might bring down on the Tribe, but perhaps even more strongly, he fears for you.'
That warming jolt was not enough to free Carnelian from the burden of what he was. 'I don't blame the Tribe for hating me.'
'It's not you they hate, but all the Standing Dead,' she said severely. The arrival of the Gatherer, unexpected as it is, has come as a bitter shock to everyone.'
She looked at Carnelian, waiting for him to answer the implied question.
The Master believes they seek us. If they find us here…'
Akaisha nodded. 'I know well enough what will happen.'
He saw in her eyes that once the childgatherer had gone, there would be a reckoning.
'I'll hide, my mother, but first, please, will you allow me to tend to Poppy?'
She looked uncertain.
'Surely today every child is entitled to love.' Screwing her face up to hold back more tears, Akaisha gave in with a nod.
Poppy looked up at him with enormous eyes. 'I just knew you'd come, Carnie.'
He smiled. 'How could I not?' He knelt beside her and got her to bend forward and then, lifting water in his hands, he let it flow down over her head. She spluttered and, rising, made to part her bedraggled hair. Carnelian caught her hands. How smooth and unmarked they were. He let them go and wrapped her in a blanket to keep her warm. He plucked the flint razor from where Akaisha had left it and then gave his attention to hacking Poppy's hair off as close as he could to the roots. Tresses fell like black ribbons to the earth. Her tufted scalp seemed a desecration. Sensing she was reading his thoughts, he ran his hand over the soft brisdes and gently teased her about them until she twitched a smile. In that watery counterfeit he saw the depths of her terror. Blinking away his own tears, he concentrated on finding the sharpest edge of the flint. He sniffed, then glanced up.
'We wouldn't want… At least I know from experience…' His voice tailed off. It was hardly the time for reminiscences about the head-shaving habits of the Masters.
He set himself to scraping the stubble from her scalp. In spite of his care, he drew blood. He snatched his hand back expecting Poppy to cry out and was made even more miserable when she did not.
When they were done, he washed her head clean and patted it dry with an edge of the blanket. Her head seemed as fragile as eggshell. He saw she was watching one of the older boys who was clearly afraid, his father kneeling face to face with him, loving him, telling him to be strong. The boy stood stiffly, lower lip quivering.
Carnelian snatched her up into a hug. She clung to him. 'You won't let him take me, will you?' she whispered urgently.
He did not know what to say and ran his hand over her tiny naked head, rocking her, making sure she could not see the bleakness in his face.
From somewhere on the other side of the hill, the alien voices of trumpets blared setting Poppy violently trembling. She turned her face up.
'You'll be there, won't you, Carnie?'
He gave no answer, not only because he had none he wanted to give, but also because he saw their hearthmates were beginning to gather around the mother tree. Over their heads he could see Fern standing with his mother. Turning to the cedar, he embraced her bark, kissed her. A warm murmuring rose from his family.
Carnelian felt a familiar hand slip into his and glanced down.
'What's happening, Carnie?' Poppy asked.
For answer Carnelian lifted her up and swung her onto his shoulders. Together they watched as one by one the hearth filed in to kiss and embrace Fern. Their grief at losing him was a pressure in the air. Soon Carnelian was joining his tears to theirs. This parting was an ache in him and yet he felt shut out. Though Fern looked in his direction several times, he did not beckon Carnelian and, without a sign, Carnelian was unwilling to breach the ring of his family.
When Fern had said goodbye even to the smallest child, he rose and, for a moment, they stood silent with him and Akaisha in the heart of their gathering. Sil joined them, handing her baby to her husband. Then Akaisha broke the circle as she made towards Carnelian. Behind her came Fern holding his baby, Sil at his side.
Carnelian lifted Poppy down and crouched to say goodbye to her. He had forgotten the power her eyes had over him.
'You'll have to be going now, Poppy,' he said, his voice breaking.
Crying, she shook her head. 'You must come. You must.'
For a moment he contemplated running down to the aquar, carrying her off into safety.
He glanced up to find Akaisha standing over them. Reading his eyes, she edged closer.
'If the girl doesn't take her chance with the rest, those who will find out today they're to lose their children will kill her.'
Akaisha's face seemed carved from her mother tree.
Carnelian fought panic as she reached out for Poppy. He could feel her trembling against his chest. Her eyes looking up into his were those of an animal in a trap.
He kissed her, wanting to, needing to give her some comfort. Til be watching you,' he whispered in her ear. It was an impulse he instantly regretted. He cursed himself silendy. Turned to stone, he let Akaisha pull Poppy off him. He watched the little girl glancing round, catching the fear stiffening every face. When her gaze returned to him, he saw her hunger for confirmation of his promise and he could not deny her the nod she wanted. His stomach clenched as he saw the courage it gave her. She nodded back as he watched Akaisha walk away with her. Carnelian became aware Fern was looking at him with a strange burning in his eyes. Carnelian felt suddenly overwhelmed by the enormity of what was about to happen. He felt queasy imagining the pain, the humiliations Fern would suffer before his execution in faraway Makar.
Fern handed his child to his wife. 'I'll join you in a moment.'
Sil burst into tears and he embraced her, muttering into her neck. When he released her she glanced round at her mother, as if Whin might forbid Fern. Instead, her mother gathered her and Leaf into her arm and, leaning against each other, they made off after Akaisha who had turned to wait, Poppy hanging miserably from her arm. Whin's sisters followed, with their husbands, their daughters, their grandchildren coming after them.
Carnelian forgot them, seeing Fern's face. It had a pallor which appalled him. Such bloodless lips, but his eyes were burning.
'Please forgive my wife.'
'She has reason to hate me.'
'She doesn't hate you.' Fern examined Carnelian's face. 'Will you take care of her for me?'
'Gladly,' Carnelian replied. 'And Ravan?'
Carnelian felt sick. He wanted so much to confess the choice he had made to return to see Fern and Poppy and which had freed Osidian from his oath.
Fern misunderstood his hesitation. 'I know that recently he's been unbearable, but he has a good heart.'
‘I’ll do what I can.'
Fern nodded slowly, pondering. The Tribe might well turn against you and your brother.'
Carnelian could not bear hearing that lie. 'He's not my brother.'