Lummox began to speak. "She is saying... I wish you could hear this in her language!.. . that so long as the Galaxy shall last the friends of Johnnie are her friends. She adds that those who are not friends of her friends are nothing, less than nothing, never to be suffered in her sight. She commands this in the names of... it is a recitation of her ancestry with all its complicated branches and is somewhat tedious. Shall I attempt to translate?"
"Don't bother," Mr. Kiku told him. " 'Yes' is 'yes' in any language."
"But she tells it with great beauty," Ftaeml said. "She is recalling to them things dreadful and wonderful, reaching far into the past."
"I am interested only in how it affects the future... and in getting out of this pesky wind." Mr. Kiku sneezed.
"Oh dear!"
Dr. Ftaeml took his cape off and hung it around Mr. Kiku's narrow shoulders. "My friend... my brother. I am sorry."
"No, no, you will be cold."
"Not I."
"Let us share it, then."
"I am honored," the medusoid answered softly, his tendrils twitching with emotion. He spread it around them and they huddled together while Lummox finished her peroration. Betty turned to Johnnie.
"That's more than you ever did for me."
"Now, Slugger, you know you're never cold."
"Well, put your arm around me at least."
"Huh? In front of everybody? Go snuggle up to Lummox."
While speaking Lummox had stayed reared up. As the oration progressed the assembled Hroshii sank down, retracting their legs until they were all in the humble position of the commander. At last it was over and Lummox added one sharp remark. The Hroshii stirred and began to move. "She says," translated Ftaeml, "that she now wishes to be alone with her friends."
"Ask her;" directed Kiku, "please to assure her friend John Thomas that all she has said is true and binding."
"Very well." As the other Hroshii hurried away Ftaeml spoke briefly to Lummox.
Lummox listened, then turned to John Thomas. Out of the great mouth came the piping, little-girl voice. "That's right, Johnnie. Cross my heart."
John Thomas nodded solemn agreement. "Don't worry, Mr. Kiku. You can depend on it."
XVII Ninety-Seven Pickle Dishes
"Send her in."
Mr. Kiku composed himself nervously, giving the tea tray one last glance, making sure that the intimate little conference room was all that he wished of it. While he was thus fussing a door dilated and Betty Sorenson walked in, said sweetly, 'Hello, Mr. Kiku," and seated herself with composure.
He said, "How do you do, Miss Sorenson?"
"Call me Betty. My friends all do."
"Thank you. I would wish to be one." He looked her over and shuddered. Betty had been experimenting with a new design of bars; it made her face somewhat like a checker board. Besides that she had evidently been shopping and was dressed in styles far too old for her. Mr. Kiku was forced to remind himself that customs varied. "Um... my dear young lady, the purpose of this consultation is somewhat difficult to explain."
"Make it easy on yourself. I'm in no hurry."
"Will you have tea?"
"Let me pour for us. It's chummier." He allowed her to, then sat back with his cup in a relaxed attitude he did not feeL
"I trust you have been enjoying your stay?"
"Oh my, yes! I've never been able to shop before without counting pennies. Everybody should have an expense account."
"Enjoy it I assure you it will never show in the annual budget... literally. Our discretionary fund. Uh, you are an orphan, are you not?"
"A legal orphan. I'm a Free Child. My guardian is the Westville Home for Free Children. Why?"
"Then you are not of age?"
"Depends on how you look at it. I think I am, the court says I'm not. But it won't be long now, thank goodness."
"Um, yes. Perhaps I should say that I knew all this,"
"I figured you did. What's it all about?"
"Um. Perhaps I should tell a little story. Did you ever raise rabbits? Or cats?"
"I've had cats."
"We have run into a difficulty with the Hroshia we know as Lummox. Nothing disastrous; our treaty with them is not affected, since she has given her word. But, uh, shall we say that if we could oblige Lummox in a certain matter, it would make for better feelings, better future relations?"
"I suppose we shall say so, if you say so. What is it, Mr. Kiku?"
'Um. We are both aware that this Hroshia Lummox has long been a pet of John Thomas Stuart."
"Why, certainly. It worked out funny, didn't it?"
"Um, yes. And that Lummox was the pet of John Thomas's father before him, and so on for four generations."
"Yes, of course. Nobody could want a sweeter pet."
"Now, that is just the point, Miss Sorenson... Betty. That is the point of view of John Thomas and his forebears. But there are always at least two points of view. From the viewpoint of Lummox she... he... was not a pet. Quite the contrary. John Thomas was his pet. Lummox was engaged in raising John Thomases."
Betty's eyes widened, then she started to laugh and choked. "Mr. Kiku! Oh no!"
"I am quite serious. It is a matter of viewpoint and made more reasonable by considering relative lifetimes. Lummox had raised several generations of John Thomases. It was Lummox's only hobby and principal interest. Childish, but Lummox was, and still is, a child."
Betty got herself under control to the point where she could talk through giggles. ''Raising John Thomases." Does Johnnie know about this?"
"Well, yes, but I explained it to him somewhat differently."
"Does Mrs. Stuart know about this?"
"Ah... I haven't found it necessary to tell her."
"May I tell her? I want to see her face. 'John Thomases'... oh my!"
"I think that would be cruel," Mr. Kiku answered stiffly.
"I suppose so. All right, I won't do it. But I can dream about it, can't I?"
"We all can dream. But to continue: Lummox appears to have been perfectly happy with this innocent hobby. It was the Hroshia's intention to continue it indefinitely. That was the reason that we found ourselves faced with this curious dilemma of being unable to get the Hroshii to leave after their sibling had been restored. Lummox wished to continue, uh, raising John Thomases." He hesitated.
Finally Betty said, "Well, Mr. Kiku? Go on."
"Uh, what are your own plans, Betty... Miss Sorenson?"
"Mine? I haven't discussed them with anyone."
"Um. Pardon me if I was unduly personal. You see, there are requirements in any endeavor and Lummox, it appears, is aware of one of the requirements... uh, let's put it this way. If we have here a rabbit... or a cat..." He stopped dead, unable to go on.
She searched his unhappy face. "Mr. Kiku, are you trying to say that it takes two rabbits to have more rabbits?"
"Well, yes. That was part of it."
"Now, really! Why make such a fuss about it? Everybody knows it. I suppose the rest is that Lummox knows that the same rule applies to John Thomases?"
He could only nod dumbly.
"You poor dear, you should have written me a note about it. It would have been less of a strain on you. I suppose I'll have to help you with the rest, too. You thought I might figure in this plan?"
"I had no wish to intrude... but I did want to sound out your intentions."
"Am I going to marry John Thomas? I've never had any other intention. Of course."
Mr. Kiku sighed. "Thank you."
"Oh, I won't be doing it to please you."
"Oh no! I was thanking you for assisting me."
"Thank Lummie. Good old Lummie! You can't fool Lummox."