It’s Ram. Come to finish me off. After everything, I’m still not worthy of his trust.
“Thanks for that,” I choke out smartly.
“My pleasure,” he says, his lips curling into a broad grin. It’s not his usual I’m-going-to-get-great-enjoyment-from-hurting-you grin. I look at him oddly.
“Am I missing something?” I gasp, trying to suck air through my crushed windpipe.
“I’m just messing with you, man,” Ram laughs, lowering me to my feet and straightening out the collar of my tunic. With that, he walks away.
As I gulp in the air I chuckle to myself; I guess being friends with Ram isn’t that different than being enemies with him. But I’ll take it anyway.
Still smiling, I go to find Roc.
Roc’s been spending so much time with Tawni that I don’t see him much, but that’s cool, because it’s nice to see that they’re getting on so well. Just before Adele’s expected to arrive, however, I manage to corner him as he’s returning from somewhere with Tawni. She gives his hand a slight squeeze and leaves him with me. She’s a perceptive girl—always seems to know what’s going on in the world around her. Right now, she knows I want to talk to my best friend.
“Hey, man,” I say.
“Hey,” he says. Roc’s grinning from ear to ear.
“Things going that well, eh?”
“We have a lot more in common that you’d think,” he says. “I really like her, Tristan.”
“I’m happy for you. How are you really doing though? I mean, after everything…”
At first his face shows surprise, but then it falls and I see sadness in his eyes. “It’s tough. I mean, we just met Ben and he was such an amazing guy, and now….now it’s like he never existed. And Elsey—Tristan, I feel so bad for her. She didn’t deserve any of this.”
“I know. I feel the same way. Adele was a mess when she left with her mom. I just feel like there’s nothing I can say or do that will help.”
I’m surprised when Roc laughs. “I know how that feels,” he says. I feel sheepish, because I remember how many times Roc tried to talk to me, to cheer me up, after my mom disappeared. But I just kept pushing him away, sort of like Adele’s been doing. At least she finally let me hug her, finally talked to me, even though her words were filled with grief.
“I’m sorry,” I say. It’s too late for it, but I still feel like I should say it.
“It’s okay. I understand. And maybe your mom’s out there somewhere,” he says. “I hope we find her someday. She was my mom too.” Gravity takes his words and pulls them through my ear canals and all the way down to my toes. They are heavy words. The heaviest.
“Roc, I just want to say again that I’m so sorry about what my fath—”
“Our father,” he corrects. “And it’s okay. I’m not sad anymore, just angry. So angry that if I ever see him again, I think I’ll kill him, Tristan. I really mean it.”
I know exactly how he feels. If I ever see my father again, I think I’ll kill him too.
* * *
As I wait for Adele’s train to get in, there are so many things I know I want to say to her, to try to make things right, but I know none of them will help. A thought flashes through my mind, something I’ve almost forgotten about. Something I need to tell her, to tell someone, but it’s so important I can’t just go out and say it. While it won’t necessarily help her with her grief, it might take her mind off of it, which could help—in a way.
The thought continues to tumble through my mind as the train pulls into the station.
When Adele steps onto the platform, she seems better, herself even. The fire in her that had seemingly been snuffed out when Ben died is back. I can see it in her eyes, in the way she carries herself, in the intensity of her hug when she greets me.
To be honest, I’m relieved. While they’ve been gone, I’ve been batting around one question in my head: How do you console someone when your words have lost all power?
That’s how I’ve been feeling. Like anything I say to her just hangs in the air for a second, maybe two, and then drops in the abyss of lost and meaningless words. I guess she just needed time with her mom. The secret I’ve been keeping from her rolls around in my mouth, trying to take shape, but the time just doesn’t feel right, so I swallow it back down.
We hold hands all the way back to the building in subchapter 1 where the Resistance leaders have been staying. No one wants to meet in the Dome anymore, not after what happened. There’s been a lot of good news while Adele was gone and for the first time she seems genuinely interested as I tell her about it. The star dwellers realized their secure prison, the Max, was secretly being used, so they launched an attack on it. They found that sun dweller spies had been using it to hold the families of the star dweller generals. Now that they’re free, the generals are able to lead the people the way they want to, without fear.
In fact, the remaining six star dweller generals just arrived today, along with three or four of their largest platoons. We expect more to arrive each day. They’ll dispatch soldiers to all the borders with the Sun Realm, to protect us until we can prepare for battle.
“What are you going to do?” Adele asks suddenly, interrupting my monologue of news.
I gaze into her eyes, wondering what she expects me to say. “Fight,” I say. “I can’t sit on the sidelines while my father destroys the Lower Realms. I have to help stop him, kill him if I have to.”
“Good,” Adele says. “Me too.”
Chapter Thirty
Adele
We’re sitting around a very large courtyard. Me, Tristan, Roc, Tawni, my mom, all of the moon dweller VPs—both the incumbents and the newly elected—the star dweller generals. Discussing the strategy for the war. I don’t feel like I or any of my friends should even be here. I mean, we’re not leaders, except Tristan. He would fit right in. But for some reason they invited us.
Since my dad was killed, Mom has become the voice of the Resistance. “We’ve come up with a two-pronged approach to fighting this war,” she says, her voice stronger than I’ve ever heard before. “The main body of our soldiers will be used in the subchapters we think are the most susceptible to attack. Although many of you were of the opinion we should attack first, the majority has decided that we will let the sun dwellers come to us. By doing this, we will stretch their resources and allow us to fight on our home turf. But don’t become complacent, these advantages are minor considering the firepower President Nailin will rain down upon us. Any questions?”
Silence. I wait for her to tell us about the second part of the strategy.
“Adele, Tristan, Tawni, Roc,” my mom says, and my heart skips a beat. Why is she addressing us in front of everyone? “We have something to ask of you, something that is hard for me as a general and as a mother.” She pauses, takes a breath, continues, speaks directly to me.
“This is not a time to be complacent. This is not a time for fearful mothers to hide away their capable daughters. It’s a time to be bold, to take risks. Your father trusted in your strength, in your abilities, and now it’s time for me to do the same. God knows I don’t want to. I’ve lost a husband already and my other daughter is in bad condition, but I cannot hold you back because I’m scared of losing you. You are a fantastically capable woman and I’m so proud of you, Adele.”
Tears glimmer in her eyes and I know I’m reflecting them back at her. I don’t know what she wants us to do, but I know I’ll say yes, not because she’s asking me, but because it’s the right thing to do.