I wear an old-fashioned scarlet dress and an apron the deep green color of decay. It hooks at my shoulders with abalone brooches, and a belt of iron loops heavily against my hips, dragged off-center by my seax in its sheath. I’ve braided my hair into two ropes, framing my face in the traditional Valkyrie’s way. My sleeves are cuffed with silver bracers tooled to gleam golden in the stage lights. Rings set with colored glass decorate my hands.
Here is Signy Valborn in the mirror, looking for all the nine worlds like an ancient Death Chooser.
But it’s only an illusion. I think of what my sisters would say, who spent nearly ten years trying to make me see how much of a Valkyrie’s job is performance. Here I am, doing what they always wanted: translating the raw power of death into a palatable display for the masses.
Much to my irritation, I couldn’t avoid it any longer.
The past three and a half frozen months have been one constant negotiation; between Unferth and me, Unferth and the town, the town and me, Unferth and Rome, me and Rome, me and Jesca, on and on until I wished the ice would fall harder, the snow pile on tons of layers. Anything so I could hole up in the tower and never be expected to smile for a crowd or explain one more time to one more resident of Jellyfish Cove why I’m learning to kill trolls when Red Stripe is so tame, what it all has to do with my riddle and my eventual triumphant return to the New World Tree.
It wasn’t me who spilled the connection between trolls and my riddle; it was Ned Unferth the first night Rome and Jesca joined us for dinner at the signal tower. Unferth and his cursed truth-telling, his refusal to just sit silent when they asked how we met. Like revenge for my thrusting him into the festival as a performing poet, the answers just fell out of his mouth. He wasn’t even drunk.
Rome and Jesca knew from Rathi enough about my situation they weren’t surprised, and Rome immediately started in on a number of historical examples of quests like this involving the great beasts of legend. By the time he and Unferth were halfway through a bottle of mead and a thesis on dragon hoards in history, Jesca pulled me aside to clean up and gently but firmly reminded me that living openly with a man like Unferth wasn’t entirely decent.
She hardly cared about the riddle or troll or my winning my place on the Valkyrie council. She cared about my virtue.
I promised her that I had no virtue left to tarnish.
As they left on their gas-guzzling ATV back for the Cove, I wondered how long it would take Jesca to bring it up with Rathi. Judging by how fast the whole town knew Unferth was helping the Child Valkyrie solve her riddle, she likely called him in the middle of the night.
Avoiding everyone became my mission. Unferth helped or hindered, depending on his mood. He either pushed me harder than ever with the troll-spears and sword work so I legitimately had no time for conversations, or he meandered into town like he had nothing better to do and told people I was open to visitors. They poured in, always in couples or groups, as if too nervous to face me alone. They asked about Odin, about the Tree, about trolls and hunting and whether Elisa of the Prairie dyed her jet-black hair or Gundrun slept over at the White Hall as rumors suggest.
I made it a point of honor to lie about everything.
Once or twice I caught ten-year-old boys running up to the tower door, knocking, and then fleeing as if their lives depended on it.
Though I refused to perform, I helped Unferth create a troll-baiting show for the festival, with Red Stripe as the main attraction. Thankfully, once it was Yule there was no tourism to speak of on the island. We had two blissful weeks snowed into the tower, just us because Red Stripe hunkered down unchained against the outer wall and buried himself in the snow to snore all day.
To pass time Unferth and I made the tower into an obstacle course and I ran it again and again while he graded me from the kitchen counter. My grades tended to be less about success and more about flare, as he awarded me with cries of “You look like a donkey!” or “There are those beautiful Valkyrie wings!” depending on how well I finessed a corner. I built a huge nest of old sweaters and blankets near the ground-floor hearth, the only place warm enough that my voice didn’t puff out in icy fog. We’d fall asleep side by side, though sometimes I stayed awake on purpose, just to listen to him breathe.
Every morning I looked for runes in my eyes. Torch and death and choice cycled through as they always had, with torch the most frequent as our isolation lasted, unsurprising because of my burning desire to get back out into the world.
Finally the snow melted enough that we crashed into town for an impromptu celebration at the Shipworm. Amidst the laughter and fiddle and crush of everyone, I glanced once at Unferth and caught him in the corner with his shoulders against two other men’s, obviously sharing gossip like a clutch of chickens. His cheeks were bright, his mouth loose, and when he saw me looking his gray eyes shone. He was happy with the Freyans, knew all their songs and prayers. Some boys dragged him to the middle of the dance floor, where he first crouched and touched his fist to the wooden panels in an old Freyan act of devotion to the earth. Then he leapt onto a table with a yell and recited the opening lines of The Charge of Winter to much uproarious applause.
The inn grew hot with his poetry and the enthusiasm of the crowd. He held them trapped in rhyme and rhythm so long that sweat melted through his shirt and he stripped it off during the dramatic transition from the warrior-king’s forces to the approaching army of frost giants.
Two girls beside me gasped to see the jagged claw marks striping down Unferth’s chest and across his back. I shifted away, itching with tension as he performed for them. The scars shimmered in the firelight, forming runes against his skin like a message just for me. Truth and always truth.
The final line rang through the fiery air and Unferth’s head fell forward in a bow, his hands turned palm out, his shoulders heaved. It was a moment when I could have called out a response, drawn his attention, gotten those rain-colored eyes on me and me alone. But we were surrounded and I didn’t want to share it—share him. I rubbed my arms as the inn exploded with cheering. They clapped his hands and pulled him off the tabletop, offering mugs of beer and requests for another or another. As he promised he’d perform at the festival feast when it started up again, the crowd swallowed him whole.
He belonged there, shining with sweat and pleasure, and I wanted to destroy it all. I shoved my way outside into the white snow.
Every time Unferth went into town after that, I stayed in the tower. I dug mazes in the snow, building my muscles until I could throw the troll-spears accurately. I tended to Red Stripe, picking dust out of the crevices of his stone skin, polishing the shards of amethyst at his arm stump until they shone. I wandered the island as I could, pretended there were trolls to hunt here, and twice tracked a pack of wolves swinging too near town. Using troll-spears on caribou is overkill, but I did it anyway.
And if I heard Unferth’s familiar gait stomping through crusts of ice toward me, anticipation burned like never before. I started leaving the tower just to dredge up the buzz of expectation I’d feel when I went home to him again. It was pathetic, but I didn’t stop. I blamed the forced stagnation of the winter, the inability to act or get anything accomplished. There was nothing more fantastic to hold my attention, and so too big a piece of me latched on to him.
But sometimes he would push me onto a stool to brush and braid my hair, or tease me with a string of riddles whose answers were always troll, and his hands would linger on my neck, his smile relaxed, and I’d have traitorous thoughts about staying in that tower with him forever.