I found Lady Melamori in his office, looking much too gloomy for a recently released “prisoner.”
“Glad you could come so quickly, Max. Our business can wait for an hour. It seems that we have some family matters that need taking care of. I think I should call the others in as well.”
“Family matters? What do you mean?” I asked in dismay.
“I’ve been robbed,” Melamori said. “I came home and saw that everything had been turned upside down. All of my jewelry boxes were opened. A hole in the heavens above that thief! I am so upset! When I joined the Secret Investigative Force I was sure that crooks would go three blocks around my house to avoid me.”
“What’s the problem, my lady?” I asked. “Start tracking the scoundrel and the case will be closed before you know it.”
“But there’s not a track to be found!” said Melamori. “It’s as though everything missing simply picked up and left.”
“I’ve always said that living alone is not the life for a lovely little lady!” announced Sir Melifaro as he entered the office. “If I had been in your bedchamber, nothing like this could have happened, my precious!”
“I’d rather get a dog,” said Melamori pursing her lips. “It would guard the house, and eat a whole lot less too. They say that dogs can even understand human speech, which is more than I can say for you.”
Lonli-Lokli politely let Sir Kofa enter the room first. Everyone was there except for Lookfi, who, as I understood, was not usually called in on such occasions. Our affairs had little to do with his work at the Main Archive.
“Well, what do you think of the news?” Juffin asked, fixing each of us with a hard gaze. “We’ve taken a hit! I hope you all agree that Melamori’s possessions should be returned immediately! The lady is upset, which does not bode well for our general humor, and the whole city is waiting on pins and needles to witness the retaliatory acts of the Secret Investigative Force. Dear girl, I know that you haven’t told anyone anything, but Echo is full of two-bit clairvoyants. Sir Melifaro, I’m assigning this to you. Do whatever you see fit. Max and I have other urgent matters to attend. I’m sorry.”
Melifaro immediately seated himself on the arm of Melamori’s chair. I noted without any particular pleasure that she buried her nose in his shoulder.
“I need a list of the stolen objects, sweetie,” said Melifaro, toying with the ends of his colleague’s long bangs.
“Thirty-eight rings, all with the Blimm family crest on the inside. Money . . . I don’t know how much there was, I didn’t count . . . A lot of money. A couple thousand crowns maybe . . . In other words, I don’t know. Eight necklaces, also with the family crest on the clasp. In my family we always engrave precious jewelry. I’ve always teased my parents about it. I guess I shouldn’t have . . . I think that’s about it. They didn’t touch the talismans. Oh, I almost forgot, they also took the little doll that you gave me on Middle of the Year Day. Remember Sir Melifaro?”
Melifaro winced.
“Of course I remember. You don’t easily forget such huge burns in your pocket! It was a beautiful toy. Strange that they would have taken that. It stands to reason they’d want the rest of the stuff. Sir Juffin, perhaps you’ll treat us to some kamra, since we’re all here. Then we can think through this one together and chat. I’ve been feeling a bit listless in that little village lately. I’m sure that your important business can wait for just another half hour, can’t it?”
“Anything can wait for half an hour, except the bodily functions General Boboota is so fond of discussing! All right, may there be a sea of kamra brought over from the Glutton; only you’ll have to work to deserve it, old boy!”
“Don’t I know it! Say Juffin, don’t you think it’s a bit odd to steal the smallest and most expensive things in a house, which one can carry away in the pocket of a looxi, and then grab a doll that’s the size of a three-year-old child as an afterthought? It isn’t a worthless trifle, of course; but in that case, why not take all the dishes, or the armchair from the living room? As far as I know, they would have been more valuable than the doll.” Melifaro had left his place on the arm of Melamori’s chair and was squatting next to the boss, who was forced to look down at him from above.
“I knew you’d catch that. You already deserve one portion of kamra.”
“I may have deserved it, but if we are to drink, then let’s do it together! Well, then, Sir Kofa, which of the honorable city policemen comes first on our White List?”
“Sir Kamshi, but he’s not at the Ministry right now. Try to get in touch with Lieutenant Shixola. He occupies fourth place, and he also specializes in burglaries.”
“All right, I’ll be back in just a moment. Anyone who so much as touches my kamra will choke on it!” With that, Melifaro was gone.
His pace impressed me. If somebody wanted to make a movie about the great Investigator Sir Melifaro of Echo, they’d have to settle with filming a series of shorts.
“What’s this White List?” I asked Sir Kofa. He laughed heartily. Even Lady Melamori let out a giggle.
“Oh Max! That’s just a little game of ours. From time to time we make an objective list of a dozen of the brightest members of the Police Force. The ones we’d want to be involved with, should the need arise. In fact, they do have smart people working over there, but with bosses like Boboota and Foofloss the poor fellows will still end up a laughing stock. And making it onto our White List is a great honor for them. They swell with pride if they get listed. For them it’s even more important than Royal Gratitude, which Boboota is awarded once a year because of his rank. I see you’ve caught on!”
I’ll say! I couldn’t stop laughing, impressed with the clever idea of such a chart. “The Top Twelve” at the House by the Bridge! Extra, extra, read all about it! Get your copy of the new chart!
Even Lonli-Lockli livened up.
“The White List really helps bolster the work ethic over there, Sir Max,” he said in an edifying manner.
“Sir Shurf is one of the movers and shakers behind the List,” chuckled Juffin. “And here is our kamra!”
The jugs of kamra weren’t even visible from behind the mountain of treats that arrived from the Glutton. Melifaro reappeared instantly, as if led by his own nose, and he came bearing a pile of self-inscribing tablets. He leapt over the back and into his chair, and was the first to snatch a pastry and pop the whole thing into his mouth. He looked a bit like Kurush: rumpled, smeared with pastry cream, but very happy. He emptied his cup in one gulp and buried himself in a tablet. For a minute and a half—an eternity by his standards—he read, deep in concentration. Then he jumped up for another pastry, and began holding court with his mouth full. A few seconds later his speech became comprehensible for the rest of us.
“Ah-hah! Just as I thought! In every case a doll like that one was stolen. Besides a load of valuables, of course. But the main thing is that dolls feature in each and every list of stolen goods. Unbelievable! Darling, it seems I gave you a rotten apple. And not without reason! Slighted suitors are terrible in their fury. Now, where did I buy that thing? At some stall in Twilight Market. Well, no matter. I’ll turn the place upside down when I get there.”
“Hold on a minute,” said Sir Kofa. “Tell me, what kind of doll was it? What did your doll look like, Melamori?”