“Yes,” I admit.
“You can’t think like that,” Roc says, and I jerk my chin up from where it’s fallen to my chest. “Think of it this way. Different people are brought together in all different ways. It’s what you feel once you’re brought together that matters, regardless of how you got together in the first place. Does that make sense?”
It does, but our situation is different. “Yes, but what if what we felt for each other once we were together wasn’t natural either? What if something was causing those feelings? Then they wouldn’t be real, would they?”
Roc opens his mouth to answer. “I don’t know,” he says, and my head falls once more, because deep down I’d hoped he’d have a better answer, that he’d contradict my line of thinking, come up with some wise alternative.
“What are you guys doing up?” Tristan’s voice asks from the side, and a shred of anger at having been interrupted creases my temple, which is totally unfair to Tristan, who’s done nothing wrong. But the thought of not being able to finish my conversation with Roc, and having to carry on a normal conversation with Tristan, makes me angry for some reason.
Before I say something I might regret Roc comes to the rescue. “We couldn’t sleep,” he says.
Rising from his bedroll, Tristan approaches, glancing from my face to Roc’s, and then back to mine, his dark blue eyes piercing my soul, and for a second I’m worried my doubts are exposed, running down my face and arms like sweat. But then every fear—every doubt—is replaced by a warm sensation radiating out from my heart and reaching every part of my body. It’s the feeling I’d felt earlier when touching Tristan, except this time I’m feeling it just being in his presence. It’s not the tingly spine and buzzing scalp—no, those feelings are long gone—but in a way it’s better.
“Everything all right?” Tristan asks.
“Yes,” I say, my reply a lie and the truth, all at the same time.
Chapter Eight
Tristan
Her expression is unreadable, but I feel like I’m intruding on something private.
“What did you say to her?” I say to Roc, an accusation in my tone.
“What? Why do you always think I’ve done something wrong?” Roc says, throwing up his hands.
“Maybe because you usually have,” I say.
“That’s an obvious exaggeration,” Roc says, smirking.
“What about the time when you stole Killen’s boots and blamed it on me?”
“I had forgotten about that. It was pretty clever, wasn’t it?” Roc says.
“Or the time you overslept and didn’t complete any of your chores so I had to do them all to cover for you?”
“Never happened as far as I’m concerned,” Roc says, his eyebrows rising innocently.
“That’s because you were sleeping,” I say, unable to stop a laugh.
Roc laughs, too, his eyes sparkling in the light. “There are two sides to every story,” he says.
I glance at Adele, and I’m surprised that she’s not laughing, too, her gaze averted from us, as if she’d rather look anywhere else. Something really is wrong.
“Can’t you all keep quiet for a few more hours? I need my beauty sleep,” says Trevor, propping himself up on his elbows to look at us.
“You can say that again,” Roc says.
“I need my beauty sleep,” Trevor mimes. “Didn’t you hear me the first time? What time is it anyway?”
“Time to get a watch,” Roc says.
“Ha ha. Sorry, we weren’t privileged to own such luxuries in the Star Realm,” Trevor retorts.
“Good point,” I say, glancing at my watch. “It’s five in the morning.”
“We should try to get a little more sleep,” Adele says suddenly. My eyes flick to hers. She’s wearing a strange expression. Looking away, she says, “I mean, we can’t leave now, right? It’s too early.”
“She’s right,” Roc says. “The festivities won’t start until at least eight. We’d stick out way too much wandering the streets now.”
“Now that I’m up, I don’t think I can go back to sleep,” Trevor says.
“Me either,” I say.
“Want to play a game or something?” Roc jokes.
“Or we could train,” Trevor says, narrowing his eyes at me. “If you’re game, that is,” he adds.
“Sure, why not,” I say. “Roc could use a little training.”
“After what Trevor did to you earlier, you could, too,” Roc says.
“Oh, it’s on!” I say. “Adele—you in?”
“Is this really the time for training?” she asks.
“It’s exactly the time,” Trevor says. “If we don’t stay loose our muscles will tighten up. Think of it as a bit of stretching.”
For the first time since I woke up, the usual gleam returns to her big, green eyes. “Okay. I’m in,” she says.
“I’m out,” Tawni says, rubbing her eyes as she approaches.
“Good morning,” Roc says cheerfully. “It wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to learn a few things, Tawni. You need to be able to protect yourself, in case anything happens.”
“And you’re going to teach her?” I ask.
“That’s right,” Roc says. “While you three are beating the gravel out of each other, trying to prove your manhood, or whatever it is you’re trying to prove, we’ll be getting ready for battle.”
“I’m most certainly not trying to prove my manhood,” Adele says, finally letting a short laugh slip out.
“I should hope not,” I say. “Okay. Roc, you give Tawni the basics on this side of the fire pit”—I motion to the right half of the cavern—“and we’ll train on the other side.”
“Good luck,” he says, glancing between me and Trevor, “but honestly, my money’s on Adele.”
“Thank you, Roc,” Adele says, and once more I get the feeling that there’s some private thing between them that I don’t know about. I really hope Roc hasn’t told her anything he shouldn’t have, like what my father showed me on my fifteenth birthday. I know I need to tell her, need to tell everyone, but not yet. The time just doesn’t feel right.
The others are already moving to retrieve their swords, and I watch as Adele picks her thin blade from the ground beside her makeshift bed, leaving the sharp blade covered by her sword guard. She slashes it one way, and then the other, the weapon elegant and controlled in her grasp. The way she moves is mesmerizing and I find myself staring as she parries an invisible attacker and then stabs forward. I hope it’s not me she’s imagining impaling.
She looks up and frowns when she sees me looking at her. “You ready or what?” she says, no friendliness in her voice. I’ve never seen her this angry at me. Roc must’ve said something to her. I’ll have to find out later.
“Uh, yeah,” I say, grabbing my own sword. I raise it to head level, hold it out from me, close an eye, and gaze down the sword guard. It’s not the same as looking down the perfectly flat steel, but I can still tell that the weapon is straight, and without the sword guard would be lethal in the hands of someone who knows how to use it. Like Adele, I take a few practice swings, my arms adjusting to the heavier weight of the protected sword, using the right amount of force to perform each motion.
Off to the side, Roc’s showing Tawni how to stand, how to hold the sword. He stands close behind her, gently repositioning her hips and arms with his hands. Although he probably really does want her to learn how to protect herself, clearly he has ulterior motives, too.
“C’mon girls,” Trevor says, twirling his sword rapidly above his head. “Come take your medicine.”
I ignore the verbal jab and stride into the open area opposite Trevor. Adele follows me, creating the final point of our human triangle. Her eyes never leave mine, and I recognize the look: determination. Like I’ve seen each time she’s headed into a fight. As long as I beat Trevor, I think.