She frowned then, and shifted in the bed. 'I don't knoweither,' she said. ' I don't know what you mean. What did you mean?'
'I've told you,' he said, deciding that he was a fool.' I don't know.'
She turned over on her side, towards the wall, away from him.
'Either you need me or you don't.'
'That's not strictly true,' Tallow sighed. ' I can need you and I can't. There are things to need at certain times. I need you sometimes.' I'm right, he thought-for it was clear to him now and it had never been so, before.
She was silent.
'It's true, Pandora,' he knew that he should stop. ' Surely you see that it's true.
'Love isn't everything,' he mumbled lamely, feeling uncertain and beaten.
'Isn't it?' Her voice was muffled and cold.
'No!' he said, anger coming to his rescue. He got up, pulled on his clothes and walked over to the window, viciously tearing back the curtains. It was raining outside. He could see the river in the distance. He stood by the window for a few seconds and then turned back to stare at the bed. Pandora still faced the wall and he couldn't see her expression.
He stamped from the room, on his way to the bathroom. He felt troubled and annoyed, but he couldn't analyse the feeling; He knew, somehow, that he was right; knew that he shouldn't have spoken to her as he had, but was glad, also, that he had. done so. The floor was cold to his bare feet as he walked, and he could hear the rain beating to the ground and on to the roof.
It was a drab, unsettled day and. fitting for his mood.
At breakfast, she soon got over her former temper and, for the moment at least, they had forgotten their earlier conflict.
'What shall we do, today, Jephraim?' she said, putting down her coffee cup.
In a half-dream, not really aware of what he was saying, 'Tallow answered on the spur of the moment: 'Ride! That's what we'll do! You have some horses, I've seen them.'
'I have -but I didn't know you could ride.'
'I can't,' he grinned, 'I can't, sweetheart, but I can learn!'
'Of course you can!' She was now in his mood. 'But what shall we do about the rain?'
'To hell with the rain - it can't affect us. Come, love - to horse!' He galloped like an idiot from the breakfast-room.
Laughing, she ran after him.
They rode all through the day, stopping sometimes to eat and to make love when the sun shone. They rode, and after two uncertain hours, Tallow soon learned how to sit his mare and to guide her. He was still an amateur, but a fast learner. Since the night he had seen the barge, he had been learning many things, quickly. Ideas rushed into his open, greedy mind and he gratefully absorbed them. So they rode through the rain and the sunshine and they laughed and loved together, forgetful of anything else; Tallow with his tiny frame and long legs, perched high above the ground on a chestnut mare; Pandora, petite and voracious for his attention, sometimes gay, often enigmatic, always honest; Pandora, a woman.
They rode for hours until at last they came to a stretch of the river upstream, which Tallow had passed a week earlier when asleep. They came to a hill and breathless and excited, fell into one another's arms, dovetailed together, and sank on to the damp turf, careless and carefree.
'Your river,' whispered Pandora, some time later.' I'll always think of it as yours, now. I used to think it was mine, but I know it isn't.'
Tallow was puzzled. He said: 'It's everyone's river-that's the beauty of it. Everyone's.'
'No,' she said. 'It's yours -I know.'
'It's not just mine, darling,' he said tenderly. ''Anyone can sail on it, bathe in it, drink from it. That's why it's there.'
'Perhaps,' she compromised at last. ' Perhaps it is, but I.know what I shall always think. The river is your life.'
'One day, I may make you a present of it, sweetheart,' he smiled, and he was right, though he didn't know it.
He stared at the river and then, just for a fleeting moment, he saw the golden barge, sailing calmly, as it always did, unruffled. He turned to her, pointing.' There!' he cried excitedly.
'There-now you see I wasn't joking! The golden ship!' But when he looked again, it had gone and Pandora was getting up, walking towards the horses.
'You always spoil things,' she said. ' You always say something to worry me.'
In silence, they rode away from the river and Tallow thought! carefully of the barge and Pandora.
Later that night, the rift unhealed, they sat in front of the dining-room fire, morosely drinking. She was truculent, unapproachable, he was turbulent, wondering if, after all, the? things he wanted were so unattainable. So they sat, until there was a disturbance outside and Tallow went to the window to see? what was happening. It was dark and he couldn't see much.
The night was a confusion of laughter and screams, flickering torches and shifting shadows. Tallow saw that a drunken group was coming towards the house. He welcomed the interruption.
'Visitors,' he said.' Revellers.'
'I don't want to see them.'
'Why not - we could have a party or something?'
'Shut, up!' she pouted.
He sighed and went downstairs into the dark, cold, draughty hall. By the time he reached it, people were thumping on the half-open door.
'Is anyone in?'
'Shelter for some poor weary travellers, I beg thee!'
Laughter.
'Are you sure this house belongs to someone?' A woman's voice, this. Answered by another woman: ' Yes, dear, I saw a light in an upstairs window.'
'Is anyone home?'
'We've got plenty of bottles!'
Laughter again.
Tallow pulled the door back and stood confronting the interlopers, who worried him. They represented a threat which he could not define. ' Good evening,' he said, belligerently now.
'Good evening, my dear sir, good evening to you!' A grinning, patronizing corpulence, swathed in extravagant clothing, a cloak, knee-length boots, a top-hat, bearing a silver-worked cane and bowing theatrically.
'Can I help you?' said Tallow, hoping that he couldn't.
'We're lost.' The man was drunk. He swayed towards Tallow and stared at him intently, his breath stinking of alcohol.' We're lost, and have nowhere to go! Can you put us up?'
'This isn't my house,' said Tallow in stupefaction. ' I'll see You'd better come in anyway. How'd you" get this far?'
'By boat - boats - lots of boats. Fun. Until we got lost, that is.'' All right,' Tallow walked back up the stairs and rejoined Pandora. She was still sulking.
'Who is it?' she said petulantly.' Tell them to go away and let's get to bed.'
'I agree, dearest,' Tallow's mood changed to its former state and his quick tongue babbled, though he didn't mean what he said. ' But we can't turn them away - they're lost. They can sleep here - won't bother us, will they?'
'I suppose I'd better see them, Jephraim,' she got up, kissed him and together, warmly, arm in arm, they went downstairs.
The revellers' torches were still burning, turning the dusty hall into a madly dancing inferno, of leaping light and shuddering shadow. As the fat leader saw Pandora and Tallow descend the stairs, he leered at Pandora. 'The lady of the house!' he bawled to his friends, and they laughed, uneasily; he was embarrassing them now. The noise in the dusty cavern of a hall, became a zoo-like cacophony.
Pandora said politely, but without feeling: 'You may stay the night here, if you wish. We have plenty of beds.' She turned to go upstairs.
'Beds!'
The drunken mob took up the word gleefully, chanting it round the hall. ' Beds. Beds.
Beds.'
After a short while, the sound became even more meaningless and they subsided into high-pitched laughter, Pandora and Tallow stood observing them.' Let's have some light, Jephraim,' she suggested.
With a shrug, Tallow reluctantly borrowed a torch from a reveller and began to ignite the wicks of the candles. The hall erupted with light, dazzling the occupants. Again the giggling began. In the centre of the hall was a long table, chairs lining the walls. This was the first tune Tallow had seen the room lighted. Grime was everywhere and the paint was peeling.