Bradley was getting restless; it was time to feed him. Wendy pulled her hospital gown off her shoulders. Jon’s mouth dropped open as the baby latched on and hungrily began to nurse. Wendy made no effort to cover herself. “Whoa,” Jon said, snapping to his feet and looking embarrassed. “I think that’s my cue to exit.”
“It’s okay, Jon…” But he was out the door in a flash.
Wendy smiled as she cuddled her son against her breast. “Maybe you should go talk to him, Patrick,” she said. “He seems pretty confused right now.”
“Good idea. He might have to apologize to Helen in front of the board, and we all know how good Jon is about apologizing-not.”
“Thanks,” Wendy said.
Jon Masters was standing in front of the window at the end of the hallway, looking lost. Patrick walked over to him, a slight smile on his face. “You really didn’t have to leave, Jon,” he said. “She’s only feeding the baby.”
“I know.”
Patrick’s grin broadened. “It’s not a striptease, Jon.”
“I know, Patrick,” Jon insisted. “It’s just… well, I… I’ve never…”
“What? Never seen a woman breast-feed a baby before? Women breast-feed in public all the time nowadays.”
“Not that I’ve noticed.”
“There’s nothing to be uncomfortable or embarrassed about. Sheesh, you sound like a prude or a virgin or something.” As soon as the words were out, Patrick regretted it-Jon’s face turned beet-red. “Ah, shit, Jon, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to poke fun at you.” But Patrick kept looking at him, hoping he would elaborate. That made him turn even redder.
“Hey, I’ve been busy…” he protested.
“Jon, you don’t owe me or anyone an explanation,” Patrick said. “If it’s right for you, then it’s the right thing to do.”
“You’re darn right it’s right,” Masters said emphatically. “When it’s right for me, it’ll be the time. Not before. No matter what anyone says.” But he didn’t succeed in convincing even himself. “Who am I kidding? I’m a geek. Who’d want to go to bed with a geek?”
“Jon, you’re not a geek-you’re a successful businessman and scientist,” Patrick said. “You’re also good-looking, funny, spontaneous, and easygoing-not to mention stinking rich. All these years you’ve been too busy-too driven-to think about it. But when you’re ready to be with someone, when you feel you want to share what you’ve got with someone else, they’ll come flocking to you, believe me.”
“They will?”
“Yep.”
“How do they know when I’m ready?”
“They don’t know,” Patrick said. “The difference is you, not them. They notice all the time, but you don’t notice them. It’s like when you have a baby-all of a sudden, you see babies everywhere. You know all those babies have been out there all this time, but now you notice them all because you’re ready to notice them. It’s the same with a mate. When you’re ready, you start to notice.”
“And then?”
“And then you go about finding the right one.”
“Well, how the heck do I do that? How do I know which one is the right one?”
“You trust your instincts and you be yourself, Jon,” Patrick said after a moment’s consideration. “Like attracts like. If you stay true to yourself, the ones most compatible with you will be drawn to you. After that, you begin the process of discovery. You learn more about them over time. You find yourself thinking about them. You’re comfortable with them. You just know. They become more important than anything-work, sleep, eating, everything.”
“I don’t get it,” Jon said. “How? There’s gotta be a way you really know…”
“There isn’t, except you listen to what your head and your heart tell you…”
“You mean sex, right?” Jon asked nervously.
“It’s not just sex, Jon,” Patrick said. He couldn’t believe he was having this discussion with Jon Masters, his boss, for Christ’s sake, here on a hospital maternity floor! With all that had happened in the past three days, this was the last conversation Patrick expected to be having. He felt as if he were explaining the facts of life to a teenager-and then he thought, Hey, this is good practice for when I’ll have this talk with Bradley a few years from now! “Sex is great, of course, and it’s a big part of the picture, but most of the time, it’s not the whole thing. What most guys are looking for is a partner. Someone to share stuff with. You know what I mean?”
“No.”
“I think you do, Jon. You have a lot, but what you really want to do is share it with others. You do it all the time in your work: You invent stuff like BERP or these prosthetic devices, but then you turn around and you want to give it away. Well, it’s the same with your life. You want to share your life with someone else-not because they asked for it, or because they need it, but because you want to share, and the other person has something to give that you like and need as well. It’s a two-way deal.” Jon nodded, and Patrick could tell that at least some of what he said seemed to be making sense. “It’s about Helen, isn’t it, Jon?”
“Helen? What about Helen?”
“You like her, don’t you, Jon?”
“Helen is, like, maybe eight or ten years older than I am!” Masters retorted. “What makes you think I like her?”
“Age doesn’t matter, and you know it,” Patrick said. “She’s intelligent, she’s independent, she’s dynamic, and she’s cute. I see how you act around her…”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“C’mon, Jon,” Patrick said with a reassuring smile. “You try to play the boss, the head guy, but around Helen it’s as if you’re trying to impress her with how big a boss you can be. You don’t act the same way around me or Wendy or the board of directors-you’re either someone’s best friend, or you ignore them. Except with Helen. You seem to want to get her attention all the time, prove to her that you’re in control, unafraid, confident, and even cocky. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you act like a schoolkid trying to impress a girl he’s got a crush on.”
“Get outta town, Muck,” Masters said. He turned away from Patrick, scowling-but then his scowl broke into a grin. “You think Helen’s cute?”
“Of course,” Patrick said. “She’s kind of mysterious…”
“Yeah. Kinda exotic, forbidding, deep, dark, like those women in the Kama-sutra drawings,” Masters said, staring out the window as if he were studying her photograph. “You know she used to be married?”
“I think I heard that somewhere.”
“Yeah. Married a guy from England after she got her doctorate from Oxford. They broke up after they got to the States. No kids.”
“Well, I’d say you have a problem now, because you made her leave the company and she sounds pretty pissed off at you,” Patrick pointed out. “If you want to have a chance at telling her how you feel, you’d better…”
“Tell her how I feel? You mean, tell her I like her?” Jon asked incredulously. “Are you nuts?”
“What are you talking about, Jon?” Patrick asked in surprise. “You have feelings for Helen, but you’d just let her leave without saying anything to her?”
“What am I going to say to her? How can I tell her anything now? She’ll punch my lights out! She’ll strangle me!…”
“Jon, the worst defeat is never having tried to win,” Patrick said earnestly. “You have got to tell her. Maybe she will punch you out. Maybe she’ll still leave. Or maybe she’ll surprise you and stay, and even love you back. Who the hell knows? But you’ve got to try.”
Jon’s horror at the notion of even approaching Helen Kaddiri was changing right before Patrick’s eyes. Patrick watched him as he thought of speaking with her, of seeing her again. “Maybe you’re right. I should just go for it. Thanks.”