"If they follow my story very close, that means Zan would be next." I didn’t like that idea at all.
"The classification of information about Muina is also being called into question," Maze said. "The discovery of Arenrhon, your time in Kalasa – all of this is known to hundreds, thousands. Details are starting to leak, many are asking what right KOTIS, the government, what right anyone has to classify matters which are important to all descendants of Muina." He sighed and shrugged. "It’s difficult to justify keeping secret the existence of Arenrhon purely because it might upset people. These things cannot be hidden forever."
"Which is a long-winded way of saying that KOTIS may not be able to quash these programs," Zee added. "At most delay them, but however the information was obtained, your personal journey can’t be argued to be a military secret."
"And through me, parts of Setari become known too." I turned over the possibilities, and felt a little ill. "Is squads I don’t want to work with in file?"
"Selkie kept that entirely out of the reports," Maze said. "It will go no further than himself, Ruuel and us. Fifth and Seventh are very effective squads who need to learn to control their egos. We won’t achieve that by letting anyone know just why it is you will never again be assigned to them. If we handle them properly, they should come to understand and regret that of their own accord."
I relaxed, then sighed. "Can still be a mess, though, yes? Because they mix extra drama in with true, and Setari won’t always know which has come from my file." I paused, eyes widening. "Is lab rat explanation in file?" I tugged at my shirt, one of the drawn-on ones. I make a point of wearing them to my test sessions in the medical section.
I saw from Maze’s expression that it was, and couldn’t help it, bursting out laughing. "Did you put in bit where Ruuel says calling myself experimental animal was right?" I asked, trying (maybe not very hard) to hold back my grin. "Set himself up for this. Oh, wish I dared tease him about it."
Maze and Zee told me that I should remember that Fourth Squad wouldn’t find it nearly as funny, but I think they were mainly glad that I was able to laugh. Zee offered to sit with me tonight while I sleep, but I think I’m past the worst of it. I seem to have these bad dreams after a shock or surprise. Must figure out how to trigger the good dreams instead.
Given the chance, I would love to give that publicity woman a good slapping. Maybe I should tell Taarel that I think it would help me overcome my reluctance to hit people.
Tuesday, May 20
Ticking off the rest
I’ve been scheduled to test with Sixth, Tenth, Eleventh, Twelfth and Thirteenth Squads, and that will finish me for general squad testing until they form some new ones. Today was Twelfth Squad, which was nice. Lenton was carefully correct while a relaxed Zan chatted with me before starting the session log. Afterwards, we all went to lunch, and talked about Kalasa. Zan kept a watchful eye on me, ready to stop if I looked distressed, and when a couple of them moved on to The Hidden War, particularly how hilarious it was that Fourth Squad were evil, she quashed that conversation with a word.
I think active service has let Twelfth settle down and accept Zan more. I still have no idea why they were so hostile to her, but don’t like to ask.
Fourth Squad’s back on duty, and I spent all day being a little extra attentive in case I could catch a glimpse of Ruuel. And was so annoyed with myself for doing that. I had my usual post-testing session nap, and when I woke the sense of him not being there was so strong that I had to spend a lot of effort making myself not get upset. He’s on a different shift to me now, so there’s not a lot of chance I’ll see him.
Time to have dinner with Lohn and Mara.
Wednesday, May 21
Trashy Mags For the Win
I went up to the roof today: it’s the first time the weather’s been good enough since I was released from the infirmary. Tare doesn’t really seem to have seasons, just storms. It still bothers me to be shut inside so much, but having a window makes a huge difference. I wonder if I have any chance at all of convincing them to make me one which opens.
I’d been there a while, reading an explanation of why everyone on Tare isn’t chalk white and suffering from vitamin E deficiency (special lighting, basically), when Zee showed up and sat down with me.
"That looks like your time for a serious talk expression. Something happen?"
"You’ll make me self-conscious," Zee said (with the easy confidence of a gorgeous, super-deadly woman). "And, yes, something is happening. A media storm about Arenrhon, via Kolar. Previously we’ve controlled information by allowing very few to return to Tare or Kolar after visiting Muina, and vetting outgoing communication. But that was always going to be a short-term solution as more and more people became involved. And Kolaren devices don’t connect to the interface, and thus don’t have the censor controls. One was smuggled back there, containing very complete details of the expeditions, Arenrhon–"
"Cass’s visit to Kalasa."
"There are many images of the Arenrhon site, including images of Third, Fourth and Eighth Squad, and you. It’s all over Kolar’s news networks, and is about to hit here. The fact that information between the planets depends on ships means we have a little warning."
"Setari losing more and more anonymity." I sighed. "You feel like doing some training or playing a game or something? Would rather not sit waiting for the initial reaction."
"You’re very calm about this," Zee said, sounding approving.
"Knew this one was coming. Too many people at Arenrhon who very interested in me – and Setari. Don’t like it, but not so upsetting as someone making lot of money off things they stole out of my file, or without warning seeing some girl pretending to go through that."
We went to the gymnasium and Zee put me through some mild resistance training and stretches, and then a short stint of fast walking on a treadmill. I’m not really up to jogging yet. I had switched my interface status to busy, which meant that while people could send me messages they shouldn’t expect me to respond. Zan and Mori both sent me messages, but I didn’t even look at them until Zee had decided I would fall over if I trained more, and we showered and took lunches back to her rooms to look the news over.
I check out the news about the Setari first, which was basically a frenzy of joy. Actual pictures of real Setari. No matter how accurate the drawings of those who had enjoyed a personal Setari sighting, they could not compare to proper images. They were nice quality pictures, too – clear and sharp, often close-ups of faces. They were already matched up to the dossiers which had been compiled from sightings over the years, and I noticed with amusement that the only person who didn’t have a clear picture was Ruuel, who seemed to have always been turned away.
The reaction to Arenrhon was unsurprising: upset about the implications of the worshipful imagery, anger that none of this had been communicated to the public.
I’d been avoiding any of the links that appeared to lead to me, but finally started browsing. Some of them were really great photos, making me look not half-bad looking, but it was very disconcerting how many were close-up. They’d used a zoom function to great effect. Much was being made of the fact that my eyes were different colours.