Tentacles v Otters
Exceptionally horrible night. I’d been relieved when I hadn’t suffered through any memorable nightmares after the battle with the massive, but I guess I was just saving it up because it completely took me over last night. Not the battle itself, but I dreamed of waking up hearing a grinding noise above me and then these black tentacles would break through the ceiling and grab me and my skin would be burning, melting with acid and it would lift me up and I’d be screaming and then I’d wake up and be in my bed panting and upset and then there would be this grinding noise above me –
I don’t know how many times it repeated. When I finally did wake up properly, I was so freaked out I was convinced that I was still dreaming, and pretty much crawled out of the room trying to escape the next onslaught. Then I broke down clutching one of my couches and ended up crying in my shower for half an hour straight. I’d only been asleep a couple of hours, too, and felt sick and exhausted, but would rather have died than go back to bed.
Everyone I would have wanted to talk to was either asleep or on rotation. Even Ghost wasn’t around, and eventually I contacted Ista Chemie, the greysuit Zee had taken me to for tests last time I’d had really bad nightmares. She was happy to tape monitors all over me in medical. Not that I cared about their tests; I just couldn’t stand to go back to my room, and was hoping that being monitored would have the same effect as last time and mean I slept normally.
No such luck. The only difference to my dream was the setting, and I dreamed that I was lying in medical waiting to get to sleep when the massive came, and that it ate the greysuits along with me. It kept repeating, a half-dozen times I think, and then the next time it reset Ruuel walked into the examining room, gave me a stern look and said: "Stop this." The scraping, grinding noise started above him, but though he glanced up, he just said: "You’re doing it yourself. Wake up."
I stared at him, and saw that I was holding his hand, gripping it so tightly my knuckles were white. And opened my eyes to find that I was.
"Well done."
I looked past him at the ceiling, and while there was no grinding I was totally convinced it was only a matter of time, and I think if he’d let my hand go I would have had complete hysterics. As it was I lay there and shook and didn’t take in whatever Ista Chemie was saying to me and eventually she went away and came back with something for me to drink which tasted so awful I snapped out of it a little.
"Really hope that was a stimulant," I said, after I’d stopped choking on it.
"A fortifier," she said, sounding a bit like she needed one herself. She, and the two other technicians I could see, were all white and upset looking.
I looked up at Ruuel – still entirely unwilling to let go of his hand – and he said: "Watch this," and gave me a log file.
It was from a scanner’s view, not from the technicians', and showed me lying on the couch, eyes closed and breathing deeply. Ista Chemie and another of the technicians were beside me, probably talking over the interface so as not to disturb me. I started to shift and move, but the two greysuits looked up, confused, at this grinding noise coming from above them. Then Ista Chemie staggered and fell, clutching her side and the other technician grabbed his face and doubled over. I writhed about violently, and thick red marks appeared wherever my skin was exposed by the cut-offs and t-shirt I’d worn to testing, and then I went limp, panting, the marks fading.
The greysuits, astonished and panicked, retreated out of the room, and I just lay there – no doubt until the dream started again, but I didn’t watch that long.
"Sorry," I said to Ista Chemie. "More than you bargained for."
She gave me a rather strained smile. "We think it’s a variety of Ena manipulation. You are trying to make your dream reality."
"Trying not the right word," I said.
"This may be related to the ability which took you back to your own world’s near-space," Ruuel said. "Although it appears actually bringing a massive into being is beyond you. You haven’t been dreaming like this since Annan brought you for testing?"
"No."
"Not immediately after the recent battle?" Ista Chemie asked.
"No." Being careful not to look at Ruuel, and yet not loosening my death-grip on his hand, I added: "Think maybe this started after I went home. To Earth. Had a really strong dream while still in medical wing, but remember feeling mainly angry at the time, not scared–"
Ruuel broke in: "What was the dream about?"
"People doing medical things to me that I really didn’t want them to do," I said, very neutrally. "And then dreams after the Pillar – not specifically about the Cruzatch, but really bad dreams of ducking under things, over and over. Next really strong dreams were after assigned to Muina – they weren’t nightmares. Mainly had dreams about being asleep on the Litara, peaceful sorts of dreams, but very real. Maybe for a week every night."
I could feel my face heating up, and had no doubt Ruuel at least could tell I was leaving something out of peaceful sorts of dreams, but nothing could have made me describe them.
"After that, was having awful fever-dreams of being chased waiting to be rescued after Kalasa, and then that time after my file was made so entertaining. Tonight’s been the worst, though. Couldn’t wake up." I tightened my grip on Ruuel’s hand, then finally forced myself to let go.
He was wearing full gloves, but I don’t know if they would have completely protected him from the raw, gibbering terror I must have been projecting. He never made the slightest move to pull away, and I was humiliatingly grateful for that. Even then I couldn’t stop myself from looking up at the ceiling, just in case, then said as calmly as I could manage: "Not very keen on sleeping now."
"You seem at least marginally aware of your surroundings while you dream," Ruuel said. "Annan noted that you were reassured by her presence?"
I nodded. "It’s like she – and you just then – come into my dream. Tell me I’m safe."
"While we technicians are not so reassuring," Ista Chemie said, a little greyly. I think she’ll be having a few nightmares on my account. "Quite aside from the effects you were producing – which were painful but not life-threatening – that is a sleep which has the potential to kill you. Your energy use was beyond healthy limits."
I glanced at Ruuel, but he was gazing into the middle-distance, discussing me with somebody. My head was throbbing, so I asked Ista Chemie if I could have something for it, and was glad she didn’t tell me I’d have to wait until they’d done more tests. I was desperately tired, too, and getting stressed out about falling back to sleep, or maybe still being asleep, and the memory of it all filled me up so that I started staring at the ceiling again until Ruuel put his hand on my shoulder and told me: "Stop that."
"Am trying," I said, sounding very doubtful. "New useful talents to add to getting headaches, and seeing blurry things. Extra strength dreams."
"Strong talents left untrained and undirected are often self-destructive," he said, unimpressed by my pity party. "This seems to be a combination of a formidable Ena manipulation ability and the Sight talent we’ve seen hints of previously. The obvious course is to train you in the techniques used for other Sight talents, many of whom also have issues with dreams. Until you’ve reached some measure of self-control, we’ll return you to a higher level of vitals monitoring." He gave me a steady look in return for my unenthusiastic reaction. "The monitor will be active only while you’re asleep. If your heart rate spikes, one of your squad members will be given access to your quarters to sit with you, and attempt to wake you if their presence alone is not sufficient."