"Guess setting up love triangle reason why this out of order," I told Kaoren, pulling a face. "Don’t see why can’t just stick to the actual story."
"You’re refusing to look if you haven’t seen how strongly protective Surion is toward you."
Kaoren didn’t sounded bothered by this, just pointing out a technicality. I guess Place and Sight Sight is going to spare me any misplaced jealousy.
"Maze has never once made me feel he was interested in seeing me naked," I said. Fortunately. "Was thinking more of Zan. She doesn’t need any more aggravation because of me, and this show kind of puts her in a love triangle with me and Maze."
"You’re very attached to Namara."
"Zan – that first week when was training me, I wasn’t enjoying it, and she get all this hassle because of it, and she was never impatient with me despite all that. I was an assignment, and she very private person, but she let me in a little. And for a while was only person I saw except the ones sticking needles in me," I added equably.
Something in this conversation – either Maze or Zan or needles or the reminder of me being an assignment – put Kaoren into a thoughtful sort of mood, and he touched my cheek lightly, then suggested that we meet at the canteen for lunch, and went to get changed for going out into the city.
I know that Kaoren, in his reasons for not wanting to be with me, didn’t really underline what might be the main one, worse than enhancing his Sights in sleep. So long as he’s a Setari, I’m an assignment. And to the bluesuits me jumping into bed with Kaoren isn’t a problem, it’s an opportunity. If a situation comes up where they need to control me, they’ll absolutely try and do it through him.
I arrived at the canteen first, and hesitated in the doorway, trying to decide where to sit. Kaoren and I eating lunch together on our free day isn’t precisely an announcement, but I didn’t doubt it would be noticed. Worse, my least favourite person was there with her squad.
Forel isn’t silly enough to be openly hostile to me, so she smiled and nodded as I walked past. Her squad followed her lead, and I said hi, but didn’t hang around chatting. I don’t think moving from being a valuable stray to a planet-unlocking stray has changed Forel’s opinion of me. I couldn’t quite hear what she said as I walked on to the servery, but I definitely caught Els' name, and Tsennan laughed.
In the end I sat where I usually sit, because finding the most sheltered corner wouldn’t hide me any, only make me all the more conspicuous. A couple of people from Eleventh came in, and then Kaoren, in a dark green pullover, and charcoal grey pants. It was almost disconcerting to see him in ordinary clothes, though they didn’t make him look any less dangerous. Or a fraction less hot.
I’m not the only one who thought so, either. Forel followed him up to the servery, the rest of her squad vanishing – totally ordered to go away (and Tsennan looking less than happy about it). All she did was talk to Kaoren while he was waiting for his food, looking all very professional and serious, but she touched his arm, which is such an impolite thing to do to a Place Sight talent. And then I had to laugh at myself for lighting up in outraged fury, and had a sudden mental image of me as Daffy Duck, clutching Kaoren and shouting: "Mine! Mine! Mine!" I’m pretty sure Kaoren can handle whatever she was trying to project at him, and at least she left looking not quite pleased with herself. Forel might count as the resident mean girl, but all that achieved for her was being put on a list of squads I won’t be assigned to.
It was a quiet time in the canteen, so only part of Eleventh Squad was around to give us curious looks when Kaoren sat down with me. It’s not as if our conversation (about Tare’s history) would give us away, and I don’t think Kaoren’s ever likely to be at all demonstrative in public, but we did leave together, so I expect there’s a bit of talk going around now. By that time I was less bothered by the possibility of people knowing because I was caught up in the prospect of meeting Kaoren’s sister – who is obviously very important to him – and worrying about how she was going to react to me.
We went to the area I’d waited in during the stickie lockdown and she was already there: a small, thin figure in a long skirt and a white shirt with a blue flower pattern. I hadn’t been entirely certain what to expect from Siame Ruuel, but I’d been thinking of her as a younger Taarel – a proud and commanding goddess, all antelope limbs and grace. Siame is slight and delicate, with a sweet little rosebud mouth, a wispy-short haircut, and a very straight and upright stance. She has Kaoren’s eyes though, black on black, coolly evaluating me.
Kaoren had obviously told her he was bringing someone to meet her, but not who, since there was just a moment’s surprise as she recognised me. She looked from my face to Kaoren’s as he introduced us, then nodded her head politely (Tarens don’t shake hands) and said: "It is very interesting to meet you." Siame’s voice is soft and a bit little-girl, but she is only fourteen after all (well, forty-four according to Kaoren, but I just can’t think in those terms). She’s also incredibly self-possessed and went on in a perfectly even voice: "Why do you want my brother?"
I at least had expected directness from someone related to Kaoren, and think I handled it reasonably well, for all my face went very hot. "There never simple answer to that kind of question," I said. "Other than because he is Kaoren. Best I can say is because he didn’t ask me if I was so very selfish." I looked at him, feeling rushed and exposed because I’d been finding it easier to keep our conversation away from deep-and-meaningfuls. "And you didn’t tell me to hurry, either. Thought about you differently when we back from Earth near-space, anyway."
Because I glanced at Kaoren, I missed Siame’s initial reaction. She was only looking thoughtful when she said to him: "What about Meer?"
"Meer and I have never had this kind of relationship," Kaoren replied, not apparently annoyed by the question. He bent and kissed my cheek, which I think may have been meant as something of a message to his sister, and said softly: "For me it was when you handed over that improbable pet of yours, covered in bruises and insisting on giving it a name. I’ve had to fight against you ever since." He straightened, adding: "I’ll see you after dinner."
Siame nodded a farewell, though she’d gone rather white, and they headed off for the exit gate I’m often tempted to walk through, just to see what would happen. I didn’t find Siame at all an easy person to read, but I suspect Kaoren was perfectly correct: she’s not going to like me.
Speaking of which, Meer is Taarel. I always think it’s a funny name for her, because she’ll never be a mere anything. However I want to interpret this kind of relationship, it’s obvious that even Kaoren’s sister considered them to be together. I wandered up to the roof (not properly dressed for it) to have a bit of a sulk at not being allowed out into the city, and to chew over what about Meer. And be amazed that Kaoren seems to have fallen for me while I looked like a panda. Awfully pleased, though, that it’s been so long for him. It was at the coldest part of the long night and windy so I gave up on sulking (still too many champagne bubbles for a proper sulk, anyway) and came back down to my room to play my game, making a heap of progress. I’m feeling really sleepy now, but guess I should go get dinner