I would be very much in the mood to do interesting things to Kaoren right now, except the medics bored with blood tests and started fooling around with the burns on my stomach again, and have given me a shot of something which makes me want to vomit.
Thursday, September 4
Into each other
Kaoren can draw. Really well – quick, effortless lines which immediately capture what he’s trying to portray. I should have expected it, given what he’d told me about his family, and what I’d seen of his brother’s work. When he chose to put all his energy into becoming a Setari instead of following his family’s lead, it wasn’t out of lack of artistic ability.
I was being very laid-back after dinner, thanks to floaty drugginess mixed with queasiness, and so reacted to Kaoren’s skill only with a variety of pleased wonder, much as the kids did. Kaoren had had Ro Kanato create a random list of words which people from three different worlds and wildly different age groups would have a chance of drawing and guessing. It was a fun game, and Rye wasn’t able to not laugh. Ys will be the hardest to crack, but she tried very hard with her drawings, and spoke when guessing Kaoren’s, and when she and Kaoren won she went very pink (and extra-basilisky) when he told her well done.
It was only later, when we were trialing stuffing a large number of pillows between us (which lasted about half an hour until Kaoren decided queasiness was not enough reason not to curl up with me), that I worked my way around to asking him not only about how he felt about drawing, but also about Forel’s comments.
"Do you think Forel really believes you’ve been ordered to sleep with me? Or was she hoping I’d hear and get upset?"
He went still a moment – his usual reaction to me saying something he didn’t expect – then leaned forward to look at my face. Then leaned back.
"If I believed that comment was intended for you, she’d be on report right now, but it was very likely her attempt to rationalise a situation which unsettles her." He reached across the barrier of pillows to touch my hand. "You didn’t feel a moment’s uncertainty, did you?"
Kaoren looked rather wry when I explained that the possibility had occurred to me our first night together, but agreed that it would have been a particularly stupid move on his part. He wanted to know why I’d been so thoughtful all evening, if Forel hadn’t upset me, and I told him I’d been thinking about how he behaves with the kids, and whether I’d changed him, or just given him an opportunity to be more himself.
He wasn’t really sure which better fit about how he felt with me, but he knows he is behaving in unexpected ways.
"I haven’t drawn for years," he said. "I stopped completely during a home visit when I was thirty. That was such – it caused the rift between Arden and I. But I needed to put it aside to follow this path, and I’ve not done more than take Siame to exhibitions since. Yet when you suggested that game, so sure that it was something I couldn’t do–"
"Had to prove me wrong?"
"Anticipating your expression made producing a handful of sketches a strangely minor issue. I’m finding myself capable of more than a few things that I thought I could not devote time to, and I suspect what you’ve changed is my sense of proportion."
That was about the point he decided there were too many cushions.
Nothing much happening today – Fourth is out jogging again. But the medics tell me they’ll leave my bandages off today. My stomach has this big silvery band of crinkling skin curling around my side. Tomorrow another trip to Kalasa.
Lessons
When the kids came back from school today Sen was a bit hyper and over-energetic, so I asked what she’d been doing and found that since all the other children were having classroom lessons, my three were doing interface lessons in a study room all day (except for lunch). Ys and Rye are fine with this, but Sen has the Sights to be completely aware she isn’t playing with real people, and thus isn’t as responsive to the interface teacher.
I went and liberated a couple of balls from the Setari training rooms – a variety used for dodging practice – and though they were a little zingier than a tennis ball they were fine for handball. We played on the patio, marking a line with a scrape of mud. There was just enough room for a four-way battle, or two two-sided battles. I doubt I would have played there if Seventh were back from their Kalasa patrol, but it was just parts of First Squad in residence, and Sen really loved it when Maze played against her but down on his knees, especially since he always seemed to manage to hit balls she had a chance of returning. Lohn had a match with Rye and Zee played Ys. When the kids were tired out Zee, Maze, Lohn and Ketzaren had an amazing all-out battle. I’ve been playing handball since primary school, and they were all better than me in about five minutes.
When Fourth returned from jogging (all sweaty and tired – Kaoren’s pushing their fitness again), Sen insisted Kaoren and Maze match up, which is something Kaoren would normally refuse, but even Kaoren isn’t immune to Sen.
Maze and Kaoren were pretty evenly matched – both with similar speed and both with Combat Sight – and put on a spectacular display of blurring motion and long rallies. Maze had the advantage early on, but Kaoren eventually pulled even and probably would have taken the game if they hadn’t decided to call it quits at ten points each. The extra anticipation Sight Sight gives him makes him very hard to fight.
Though I guess Maze is still recovering from mass Cruzatch burning. I hadn’t been planning on dinner downstairs because Seventh would be back, but Zee opened a channel to me and asked me to keep the kids down. I wasn’t sure why till I saw her watching Maze with Ys and Rye. Maze has been under so much stress lately, and I realised then that I hardly ever see him smile at all these days. Some things are worth putting up with Forel.
And it was hilarious watching Sen work the room as the Setari arrived back for the day. She thoroughly enjoys having lots of people around to charm – and she pleased me no end by seeming to avoid the people in Seventh who I’m wary of, but picking out the few who seem reasonable to introduce herself to. Her big thing at the moment is to go around introducing herself and trying to read the name display of the person she’s talking to – she mangles their names pretty spectacularly, but almost deliberately I think.
Maze was far more successful at chatting with Ys and Rye than I’ve yet been, for all they still act like they expect to be punished for speaking in public (I have a horrible feeling that’s because they have been punished for speaking in public), but you could hear the sheer pleasure creeping into their voices as they told Maze all about dictionaries and how you can look up an explanation of every word you heard, and the interface would even read it out to you. That the interface would read out whole books to you and that there were so many books in there that they hadn’t even been able to reach the bottom scrolling down the first letter when browsing the list of them.
After dinner we played the spelling game again – and even in the past few days Ys and Rye have improved to the point where they know all the Taren alphabet and can manage most two and three letter words. After the game tonight Kaoren told them if next time they played they got a better score then they could ask for a treat of their choice, and they practically turned inside out trying not to look pleased. Though, given that the interface seems to be the greatest treat imaginable to them, I’m not sure what treat they might ask for.