I spent today thinking about Sixth Squad, about the guy called Ammas who died, and how his parents must have felt when they were told. Were they angry? Had they pushed him into the Setari program, or resisted his conscription? Had he been given leave to go see them recently? Did he have any sisters, or someone he was in love with? Were there things he wanted to do other than kill monsters?
The Setari aren’t by any means without rights, and there’s several oversight committees, but to develop their talents they’re pushed in a way which hovers between strict and cruel. While they’re not allowed to be sent into battle until they pass their adult competency exam, and they really are given chances to leave the Setari, there’s no way they can gain truly strong talents without giving up most of their childhood. It’s useful remembering that whenever I get into a grump and feel like complaining.
With the severe increase of incursions into real-space, and the repeated sightings of Setari on the main islands, there’s a lot – seriously a lot – of speculation about what’s been going on these last couple of weeks. That they’ve found a Pillar and shut it off is one of the many things rumoured, but nothing about so many teams coming so close to dying, and nothing about me. The Setari might have oversight committees, but KOTIS is by no means open to public curiosity. I wonder if there’s an Unexpectedly Useful Strays oversight committee?
No getting drunk today, just a regular medical exam, so I swam in the morning and didn’t manage too badly. I think the aether sessions might have helped my recovery along. I tried to be super-virtuous and go jogging after lunch, but there was a sports carnival on. Well, a competition with at least three hundred kids aged all the way from little six year-olds to people my own age. If I’d bothered to check the scheduling I would have seen that the park was booked.
They had uniforms, too, though not black nanoliquid ones. Brown and cream, obviously designed for sports. I hastily sat down after walking in, glad that I was back from the action, but too embarrassed to walk straight back out again when all the people nearby had seen me. I always feel like such an impostor in my black uniform, because I’ve seen enough of the TV series about the girl trying to qualify as a Setari to know how much of a mark of achievement it is. Though I suppose it’s possible most of them knew what I was anyway, and maybe that’s half the reason they were looking at me. I’m not sure if the matter of useful strays has been allowed even outside the main body of the Setari.
They were so deadly serious about the competition. They did cheer, and barrack for their friends, but even the little ones scrambled over the obstacle course as if their lives depended on it. I guess it does. I wasn’t in whatever channel they were using, and didn’t try to find it, using the time for more flipping through Muina reports instead. I didn’t turn the name display on, because some of these kids are probably going to end up like Ammas.
Tuesday, March 11
Little to contribute
I’m not getting anywhere with Isten Notra’s assignment. After reading endlessly I can’t think of a single thing to tell her which doesn’t sound lame, so there goes my hidden ambition to point out that the dog didn’t bark in the night, or the parsley hadn’t sunk in the butter, or any other Sherlockian observation. I was sticking to it, though, paging through increasingly tedious reports, but more than a little relieved when Mara came and kidnapped me for dinner in the city with First Squad, who have finally been posted back to KOTIS headquarters.
It was a great outing. We went to a place which sold food pastes similar to hummus and refried beans, with different edible spoons ranging from hard brown bread to the now-familiar vegetable sticks. I immediately thought of it as the "Hot and Cold Dip Shop". Lohn was being very funny, and kept saying: "Ten demerit points" whenever anyone accidentally knocked a glass. He says he’s my eternal slave forever, just for the expression on Tsur Selkie’s face.
"Is Setari allowed drink alcohol?" I asked, since I’d only ever seen First Squad drink water and juices.
"Not in any quantity," Alay said, tilting her glass. "Even if we weren’t actively serving, the risk is too great. I’ve tried alcohol, but the rule against control-diminishing substances is only good sense."
"Tsur Selkie main guy in charge Setari training?"
"A dominant force in our development, say." Maze seemed even more tired and worn-down than usual, but he produced a wry smile at this. "I have to admit to re-watching that testing session more than a few times. So Selkie looks like a famous actor from your planet?"
I tried very unsuccessfully to explain Clint Eastwood, and then moved on to Johnny Depp, and now all of First Squad except Maze have sworn to find a path to Earth so they can watch Pirates of the Caribbean.
Afterwards, Zee took me to have my hair cut. There are apparently hairdressers available in KOTIS for the brownsuits, who are properly called Kalrani (juniors), but they’re what you’d expect for school barbers, and so Zee took me to the place she uses. I had my hair neatened, without doing anything fancy to it, but I feel much less of a scruff now that the split ends have been cut out and the ends aren’t so jagged. Not that it makes much of a difference, since I’ve taken to braiding it.
As we walked back I talked to Zee about my eye changing colour. I’ve moved past my first reaction to it, and was able to tell her that it makes me feel uncomfortable, without transforming into a rampaging drama llama. And I told her about my nightmares, which I felt safe to talk about now that I’d stopped having them every damn night.
Then I asked Zee about Nils in Second Squad chasing her, and she said: "In his dreams." And changed the subject.
Wednesday, March 12
Fun
More getting drunk on aether. Though I wonder if I should be writing high instead of drunk, since I’m breathing not drinking. I guess I don’t like the idea of high, which is very contradictory of me since alcohol is just another drug. Party oil, as Perry called it: no big deal, just something to make things go. Alyssa had made me promise never to drink without her, which I haven’t technically, but even though I’m legally old enough now, I don’t think Alyssa – let alone Mum – would be impressed with my current career. There’s something less than special about having breakfast, then lying on a couch being all tingly until I pass out.
On the flip side, I have lots of medical supervision, and I’m even trying to be conscientious about exercise. This afternoon I went both swimming and jogging, though I’d have skipped the jogging except Zan came and joined me for the swimming (yay!) and I asked her if there was somewhere I could jog which wasn’t quite so visible and well-populated as the obstacle-course park. She showed me a different training area, an endless maze of corridors and stairwells and the occasional ladder. This is probably a better thing for overall fitness than just jogging lightly in a circle, but gods I barely managed one circuit going at a pace which really wasn’t more than a walk. Way too many stairs. My legs were jelly afterwards.