“But not those of Dolly Dumpling,” said Jack.
“It wasn’t after her,” said Eddie, “but she was close enough to see what happened, so she had to be silenced.”
“Things don’t just appear out of nowhere,” said Bellis.
“This did,” said Eddie. “I can see all the evidence. After the slaughter, when the lights were out, Jack came up onto this stage alone, holding a candelabra.”
“I did,” said Jack.
“And two burly constables came up afterwards, roughed Jack up a bit and pulled him from the stage.”
“They did,” said Jack.
“Sadly destroying vital evidence,” said Eddie.
Chief Inspector Wellington Bellis shook his head. “This is madness,” he said.
“If you have a better explanation,” Eddie said.
“Any explanation would be better than yours, which is no explanation at all.”
“Something has come amongst us,” said Eddie, “something evil, something different, the likes of which Toy City has never experienced before. Whatever did this is not of this world.”
“Right, that’s it,” said Bellis. “I’m just going to arrest the two of you and have done with it.”
“On what grounds?” Eddie protested. “You know we’re not responsible for any of this.”
“On the grounds,” said Bellis, “that if this were to get out, we’d have panic in the city.”
“No one will hear it from me,” said Eddie.
“Nor me,” said Jack. “Will they hear it from you, Chief Inspector?”
“No, they certainly will not.”
“Then let Jack and me go about our business,” Eddie said. “I already have certain leads to follow up. I will keep you informed of our progress – discreetly of course.”
Chief Inspector Wellington Bellis looked perplexed. Indeed, he was perplexed.
Jack drove away in Bill Winkie’s splendid automobile. Eddie sat in the back, next to Amelie.
“I suppose we won’t be going on to that other club now,” she said.
“I’ll drop you home,” said Jack. “I’m sorry the evening didn’t go better.”
“We can make up for that,” said Amelie.
Eddie wished that he possessed eyebrows, because if he had he could have raised one now.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” said Jack. “Eddie and I have business to attend to.”
The sulky Amelie was dropped at her door, kissed by Jack and waved goodbye to. Jack and Eddie continued on their way.
“Fine-looking dolly,” said Eddie. “Fine long legs and big –”
“Stop,” said Jack. “And tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
“Whatever it was you were holding back from Bellis. You know more than you’re telling.”
“Of course I do,” said Eddie, “but I wanted to put the wind up Bellis.”
“You put the wind up me, too. Monsters from outer space, is that what you’re saying?”
“Perhaps,” said Eddie. “Perhaps.”
“So go on, tell me.”
“I don’t know if I should.”
“We’re partners, Eddie. You can trust me, you know you can.”
Eddie shrugged and sighed. “I know,” he said, “but this is bad and it really doesn’t make sense.”
“Just tell me, Eddie, perhaps I can help.” Eddie swerved violently around a corner, dislodging Eddie from his seat.
“Slow down!” cried Eddie. “Slow down!”
Jack slowed down. “Where are we going anyway?” he asked.
“Back to Tinto’s,” said Eddie.
“Of course,” said Jack. “Where else?”
Eddie sat and tried to fold his arms. As ever, he did so without success.
“Out with it,” said Jack.
“All right,” said Eddie. “There was other evidence that I didn’t mention to Bellis. I can tell you the height of the murderer. I can tell you his weight. I can tell you his race and his covering.”
“Go on then,” said Jack.
“My height,” said Eddie, “my weight, my race and my plush covering.”
“A teddy?” said Jack. “A teddy is the murderer?”
“Not just any teddy. An Anders Imperial.”
“Just like you.”
“Not just like me – more than that.”
“I don’t understand,” said Jack, taking yet another corner without much slowing down.
“Paw prints,” said Eddie. “Paw prints are as individual as a meathead’s fingerprints. Even with mass-produced toys, they’re all slightly different. They’re all individual.”
“So you could identify the killer from those paw prints?”
“I already have,” said Eddie.
“So you know who the murderer is? Eddie, you are a genius.”
Eddie shook his head. Sadly so, as it happened. “I know who the murderer is,” said he, “but I also know that he can’t be the murderer.”
“You’re not making sense.”
“Jack,” said Eddie, “I recognised your footprints on that stage.”
“It wasn’t me,” said Jack, and he took another corner at speed, just for good measure.
“I know it wasn’t you. But I could recognise your footprints anywhere, as well as I could recognise my own. And that’s the problem.”
Jack shook his head. “You’re really making a meal of this,” said he. “If you recognised the paw prints, who is the murderer?”
“I recognised the paw prints of the murderer,” said Eddie, “because they are my paw prints. But I’m not the murderer!”
Presently, Jack screeched to a halt before Tinto’s Bar and the two alighted from the car.
“I hope he’s still here,” said Eddie.
“Tinto rarely recognises licensing hours,” said Jack.
“Not Tinto, the spaceman.”
“What spaceman? There’s a spaceman in Tinto’s Bar?”
“I spoke with him earlier. He told me that it was a member of the vanguard of the alien strikeforce who had blasted the monkeys.”
“Ah,” said Jack. “You had been drinking at the time, hadn’t you?”
“I’d had one or two,” said Eddie, “but I know what he told me. And he told me that these aliens fancied a visit to a jazz club.”
“Old King Cole’s,” said Jack.
“Precisely,” said Eddie.
“But an alien teddy bear, who is your doppelganger?”
“Stranger things have happened,” said Eddie.
“Name one,” said Jack.
“Let’s go in,” said Eddie.
Tinto’s Bar was rather crowded now. In fact, it was rather crowded with a lot of swells that Jack recognised as former patrons of Old King Cole’s.
Jack swore beneath his breath.
Eddie, whose hearing was acute, chuckled.
“We don’t want their type in here,” said Jack.
“And whose type would that be?” Eddie asked.
“You know what I mean.” Jack elbowed his way towards the bar and Eddie followed on in Jack’s wake.
Tinto was serving drinks every which way. Jack located an empty barstool and hoisted Eddie onto it. “Drinks over here, Tinto,” he called.
“You’ll have to wait your turn,” called Tinto. “I have posh clientele to serve here.”
Jack ground his teeth.
Eddie said, “The spaceman was over there in the far corner, Jack – can you see if he’s still there?”
Jack did head-swerves and peepings. “I can’t see any spaceman,” he said. “A couple of gollies playing dominoes, but no spaceman.”
“Tinto,” called Eddie to the barman, “if you can tear yourself away from your new best friends …”