The tape rolled and the screen showed the scratching, the white flecks of magnetic interference. Would you recognize him? Nothing at the beginning. He sat forward with the remote control and skipped forward through the tape. The screen continued to flicker. On it went, on and on, with no image until, with a sudden creak, the tape butted up against the rollers. He'd come to the end. There was nothing on this tape. He ripped it out of the machine and plugged in a second one, started it, fast-forwarded it. Again he got all the way to the end and found no image.
"Jack?"
He looked up. "Go back to bed, Rebecca."
"What's going on?"
"Nothing really. Go to bed."
But he'd piqued her interest. She was barefoot -wearing only a pair of his grey boxer shorts and a short-sleeved vest and she padded into the room, trying to look over his shoulder. "What is it?"
"Really, Becky…" He stood up, holding out his hands, ushering her away from the stuff on the floor, from the video. "It's nothing. Go back to bed, eh? Go on."
She blew air out of her nose. "Will you come up too?"
"Yes," he said, without thinking. "I'll bring you a drink. I promise."
"OK." That quelled her. She turned obediently on her heel and went back up the stairs and Caffery sat for a moment staring at his hands, wondering what to do. Eventually he got up, got two fresh glasses of wine, and went upstairs. In the bedroom she was lying on the bed with her hands under her head. The lamp was on and her hair was loose, running down over one shoulder. She had taken off her vest and was smiling at him.
Right. He put the glasses down on the bedside table and sat at the foot of the bed. "Rebecca look." He couldn't make the complex adjustment she wanted -not now. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" She rolled on to her front and walked towards him on all fours. She pressed her hands flat on his chest and kissed his shoulders, kissed the sweat-stained base of his neck.
"I'm busy downstairs."
"That's OK." She wrapped her arms round his neck. Her hair smelt of cigarillo smoke and something flowery she pressed herself against him, her smooth breasts soft against his arm, and in spite of himself his heart dilated helplessly.
"Becky, please…" She buried her face in his neck and trailed her fingers down his stomach where the muscles fluttered weakly. She pushed her hand inside his trousers. He reached down and took her hand. Held it away from him "No. Not now…"
She sshed him and wriggled her hand out of his grip, put it back inside his shorts. "Becky."
"Ssh it's all right."
She pulled her hand out of his trousers, sat up and rolled the shorts down to her knees, kicked them off her feet, and turned on one knee. She placed her hands flat on the bed and bent over in front of him on the bed her back to him, her hips jacked up in the air. He stared at her, disbelieving, not knowing what to say or do. There was something so primitive about what he was doing so crude. He stood, unbuttoned his trousers and dropped his shorts, kicked them aside and stood behind her. "Move down a bit." He dragged her hips towards him. She leaned forward to help, her chin touching the bed, reaching between her legs to guide him. "I won't last '
"Ssh- it's OK."
He fell forward and kissed her back, her hair was in his mouth, he reached around to find her breasts, his heart expanding hard upward, got his cock inside her, wrapped his arms around her waist, then, suddenly, as clear as a bell on a cold day, he heard her say: "Stop."
He stopped, opened his eyes. She was staring up at him, looking up over her shoulder at him, her eyes wide and serious.
' What?" He trembled with the effort of not moving. "What's the matter?"
"Stop. I've changed my mind."
"You're joking?"
"No is no." She looked at his face. "Honestly, Jack -I mean it."
But it was too late. Something in his stomach, something that was close to opening anyway, broke. He grabbed her by the hair, wrenching her head back; and pushed himself into her as hard as he could, his heart pumping like a pile driver. "Jack!" She let out a sob and tried to crawl away across the bed but he held her. He knew her face was slamming into the bed and that there was blood a line of blood in the corner of her mouth, he saw it but he couldn't stop. She was crying, tears running down her face, but he didn't stop. He didn't stop until he had come. Then he thrust her head back down, pulled out of her and padded into the bathroom where he stood in the shower, his head bent, one hand on the wall, the warm water pouring over his neck, and began to cry.
Carmel Peach hadn't been mistaken about the photographs taken in her house. They were currently on a roll of film, tucked inside a bag, a bag constructed from an old bomber jacket, and lying on the floor in Roland Klare's bedroom.
Klare had spent a long time going through the photography book, in great detail, making copious notes as he worked, listing the things he needed. Now, late in the night, he was consulting the list as he hunted through the rooms for the makings of a darkroom. He had already made his biggest find, earlier this evening: a cumbersome negative enlarger that had been stored for some months behind a pile of magazines. He had found it in a dustbin at the back of a photographer's suppliers in Balham it was cracked and the timer was broken, but in Klare's world nothing, nothing was beyond rescue. Now the enlarger had been resurrected and was safely installed in the bedroom cupboard, the place that was going to serve as a darkroom. It was a big prize.
However, as he continued his hunt through the rooms, through the various boxes and corners of his flat, he was starting to see a problem. Klare collected things quickly, so quickly in fact that he frequently filled up a room within a matter of weeks, and periodically had to have a clear-out, taking everything from one room down to the dump and redistributing what remained in the flat in the cleared space. Sometimes he was careless, got himself agitated and ending up dumping things he hadn't meant to, and now he was starting to think he'd thrown away some of the things that he needed. Although he had a sealed plastic developing tank (this he'd got from the same bin as the enlarger, it looked like a tupperware container and was cracked but mend able make a note of that need some araldite) an old washing up bowl for washing the prints in, tape to light-seal the cupboard and plenty of discarded cat-litter trays that could serve as print-developing trays although he had all this, when he ran an inventory against the list he realized there were still things missing: some print fixer, developer, stop bath, a safelight. As he stared at the list a nervous tic started in the corner of his eye. Stop bath the book said he could make that from vinegar if necessary, but a safelight? A safelight, fixer and developer these were things he could only get from a supplier. Face twitching with frustration, he wandered around the flat muttering to himself, checking and checking again that there'd been no mistake, that there weren't bottles hidden in some dark corner. But no if he was going to get these photos developed he'd have to go down to Balham and maybe even spend some money.
Out of the living-room window the moon was bathing Brockwell Park in silver, but Roland Klare, immensely discouraged now, wasn't interested in the view. He drew the blind, dropped down on the sofa, clicked on the television and sat for several hours, staring at it blankly.
Seventeen.
(23 July)
He went to Shrivemoor. It was the only place to go. He was composed enough to put a suit in the car for the next day, to put the malt whisky into a carrier-bag on the back seat, and to pack most of Penderecki's stash away in the under-stairs cupboard. The video cassettes and the zip disks those he took with him.