She did not even dare to look at him; she could not bear that he should see her do so; it was enough to know that he was free—that he was there—that it was over. She did not want to see how it had changed him; and, half to set him at ease, half to work off her own excitement, she talked to her father, and told him of the little events of his absence till the meal was over; and, at half-past one, good nights were exchanged with Leonard, and the Doctor saw him to his room, then returned to his daughter on her own threshold.
‘That’s a thing to have lived for,’ he said.
Ethel locked her hands together, and looked up.
‘And now, how about this other denouement? I might have guessed that the wind sat in that quarter.’
‘But you’re not to guess it, papa. It is really and truly about the ‘Diseases of Climate’.’
‘Swamp fevers, eh! and agues!’
The ‘if you can help it,’ was a great comfort now; Ethel could venture on saying, ‘Of course that has something to do with it; but he really does make the book his object; and please—please don’t give any hint that you suspect anything else.’
‘I suppose you are in his confidence; and I must ask no questions.’
‘I hated not telling you, and letting you tease him; but he trusted me just enough not to make me dare to say a word; though I never was sure there was a word to say. Now do just once own, papa, that Tom is the romantic one after all, to have done as he did in the height of the trouble.’
‘Well in his place so should I,’ said the Doctor, with the perverseness of not satisfying expectations of amazement.
‘You would,’ said Ethel; ‘but Tom! would you have thought it of Tom?’
‘Tom has more in him than shows through his spectacles,’ answered Dr. May. ‘So! That’s the key to his restless fit. Poor fellow! How did it go with him? They have not been carrying it on all this time, surely!’
‘Oh, no, no, papa! She cut him to the heart, poor boy! thought he was laughing at her—told him it had all been irony. He has no notion whether she will ever forgive him.’
‘A very good lesson, Master Doctor Thomas,’ said Dr. May, with a twinkle in his eye; ‘and turn out as it will, it has done him good—tided him over a dangerous time of life. Well, you must tell me all about it tomorrow; I’m too sleepy to know what I’m talking of.’
The sleepiness that always finished off the Doctor’s senses at the right moment, was a great preservative of his freshness and vigour; but Ethel was far from sharing it, and was very glad when the clock sounded a legitimate hour for getting up, and dressing by candle-light, briefly answering Gertrude’s eager questions on the arrival. It was a pouring wet morning, and she forbade Daisy to go to church—indeed, it would have been too bad for herself on any morning but this—any but this, as she repeated, smiling at her own spring of thankfulness, as she fortified herself with a weight of waterproof, and came forth in the darkness of 7.45, on a grim November day.
A few steps before her, pacing on, umbrellaless, was a figure which made her hurry to overtake him.
‘O, Leonard! after your journey, and in this rain!’
He made a gesture of courtesy, but moved as if to follow, not join her. Did he not know whether he were within the pale of humanity?
‘Here is half an umbrella. Won’t you hold it for me?’ she said; and as he followed his instinct of obedience, she put it into his hand, and took his arm, thinking that this familiarity would best restore him to a sense of his regained position; and, moreover, feeling glad and triumphant to be thus leaning, and to have that strong arm to contend with the driving blast that came howling round the corner of Minster Street, and fighting for their shelter. They were both out of breath when they paused to recover in the deep porch of the Minster.
‘Is Dr. May come home?’
‘Yes—and—’
Ethel signed, and Mr. Wilmot held out an earnest hand, with, ‘This is well. I am glad to see you.’
‘Thank you, sir,’ said Leonard, heartily; ‘and for all—’
‘This is your new beginning of life, Leonard. God bless you in it.’
As Mr. Wilmot passed on, Ethel for the first time ventured to look up into the eyes—and saw their hollow setting, their loss of sparkle, but their added steadfastness and resolution. She could not help repeating the long-treasured lines: ‘And, Leonard,
“—grieve not for thy woes, Disgrace and trouble; For He who honour best bestows, Shall give thee double.”’
‘I’ve never ceased to be glad you read Marmion with me,’ he hastily said, as they turned into church on hearing a clattering of choristers behind them.
Clara might have had such sensations when she bound the spurs on her knight’s heels, yet even she could hardly have had so pure, unselfish, and exquisite a joy as Ethel’s, in receiving the pupil who had been in a far different school from hers.
The gray dawn through the gloom, the depths of shadow in the twilight church, softening and rendering all more solemn and mysterious, were more in accordance than bright and beamy sunshine with her subdued grave thankfulness; and there was something suitable in the fewness of the congregation that had gathered in the Lady Chapel—so few, that there was no room for shyness, either in, or for, him who was again taking his place there, with steady composed demeanour, its stillness concealing so much.
Ethel had reckoned on the verse—’That He might hear the mournings of such as are in captivity, and deliver the children appointed unto death.’ But she had not reckoned on its falling on her ears in the deep full-toned melodious bass, that came in, giving body to the young notes of the choristers—a voice so altered and mellowed since she last had heard it, that it made her look across in doubt, and recognize in the uplifted face, that here indeed the freed captive was at home, and lifted above himself.
When the clause, in the Litany, for all prisoners and captives brought to her the thrill that she had only to look up to see the fulfilment of many and many a prayer for one captive, for once she did not hear the response, only saw the bent head, as though there were thoughts went too deep to find voice. And again, there was the special thanksgiving that Mr. Wilmot could not refrain from introducing for one to whom a great mercy had been vouchsafed. If Ethel had had to swim home, she would not but have been there!
Charles Cheviot addressed them as they came out of church: ‘Good morning—Mr. Ward, I hope to do myself the honour of calling on you—I shall see you again, Ethel.
And off he went over the glazy stones to his own house, Ethel knowing that this cordial salutation and intended call were meant to be honourable amends for his suspicions; but Leonard, unconscious of the import, and scarcely knowing indeed that he was addressed, made his mechanical gesture of respect, and looked up, down, and round, absorbed in the scene. ‘How exactly the same it all looks,’ he said; ‘the cloister gate, and the Swan, and the postman in the very same waterproof cape.’
‘Do you not feel like being just awake?’
‘No; it is more like being a ghost, or somebody else.’
Then the wind drove them on too fast for speech, till as they crossed the High Street, Ethel pointed through the plane-trees to two round black eyes, and a shining black nose, at the dining-room window.
‘My Mab, my poor little Mab!—You have kept her all this time! I was afraid to ask for her. I could not hope it.’