‘And there you are!’ so went her thoughts. ‘It is true then! Fairly caught! Your lofty crest vailed at last—and at such a time! O, Tom, generous and true-hearted, in spite of all your nonsense! How could she help being touched? In the net and against his will! Oh, triumph of womanhood! I am so glad! No, I’m not, it is best this way, for what an awkward mess it would have been! She is dear Leonard’s sister, to be sure, and there is stuff in her, but papa does not take to her, and I don’t know whether she would fit in with Tom himself! But oh! the fun it would have been to see Flora’s horror at finding her one prudent brother no better than the rest of us! Dear old Tom! The May heart has been too strong for the old Professor nature! What a retribution for his high mightiness! Harry and Richard to be guarded from making fools of themselves! What a nice cloak for jealousy! But it is no laughing matter! How miserable, how thoroughly upset, he is! Poor dear Tom! If I could only go and kiss you, and tell you that I never loved you half so well; but you would rather die than let out one word, I know! Why, any one of the others would have had it all out long ago! And I don’t know whether it is quite safe to screen the lamp from those aching eyes that are bearing it like a martyr! There! Well, maybe he will just stand the knowing that I know, provided I don’t say a word; but I wish people would not be so “self-contained!”’
Self-contained Tom still continued in the morning, though looking sallow and wan; but, in a political argument with his father, he was snappish and overbearing, and in the course of the day gave another indication of being thrown off his balance, which was even harder for Ethel to endure.
Throughout the suspense on Leonard’s account, Aubrey had been a source of anxiety to all, especially to Tom. The boy’s sensitive frame had been so much affected, that tender dealings with him were needful, and all compulsion had been avoided. His father had caused him to be put on the sick-list of the volunteers; and as for his studies, though the books were daily brought out, it was only to prevent the vacuum of idleness; and Tom had made it his business to nurse his brother’s powers, avoid all strain on the attention, and occupy without exciting, bearing with his fitful moods of despondence or of hope, whether they took the form of talking or of dreaming.
But now that all was over, every one knew that it was time to turn over a new leaf; and Tom, with his sore heart, did it with a vengeance, and on the first instance of carelessness, fell on the poor family pet, as a younger brother and legitimate souffre douleur, with vehemence proportioned to his own annoyance. It was a fierce lecture upon general listlessness, want of manliness, spirit, and perseverance, indifference to duties he had assumed. Nonsense about feelings—a fellow was not worth the snap of a finger who could not subdue his feelings—trash.
The sisters heard the storm from the drawing-room, and Gertrude grew hotly indignant, and wanted Ethel to rush in to the rescue; but Ethel, though greatly moved, knew that female interposition only aggravated such matters, and restrained herself and her sister till she heard Tom stride off. Then creeping in on tiptoe, she found the boy sitting stunned and confounded by the novelty of the thing.
‘What can it be all about, Ethel? I never had such a slanging in my life?’
‘I don’t think Tom is quite well. He had a bad headache last night.’
Then I hope—I mean, I think—he must have made it worse! I know mine aches, as if I had been next door to the great bell;’ and he leant against his sister.
‘I am afraid you really were inattentive.’
‘No worse than since the heart has gone out of everything. But that was not all! Ethel, can it really be a disgrace, and desertion, and all that, if I don’t go on with those volunteers, when it makes me sick to think of touching my rifle?’ and his eyes filled with tears.
‘It would be a great effort, I know,’ said Ethel, smoothing his hair; ‘but after all, you volunteered not for pleasure, but because your country wanted defence.’
‘The country? I don’t care for it, since it condemned him, when he was serving it.’
‘He would not say that, Aubrey! He would only be vexed to hear that you gave in, and were fickle to your undertaking. Indeed, if I were the volunteer, I should think it due to him, not to shrink as if I were ashamed of what he was connected with.’
Aubrey tried to answer her sweet high-spirited smile, but he had been greatly hurt and distressed, and the late reproach to his manhood embittered his tears without making it easier to repress them; and pushing away his chair, he darted up-stairs.
‘Poor dear fellow! I’ve been very hard on him, and only blamed instead of comforting,’ thought Ethel sadly, as she slowly entered the passage, ‘what shall I think of, to make a break for both of those two?’
‘So you have been cockering your infant,’ said Tom, meeting her. ‘You mean to keep him a baby all his life.’
‘Tom, I want to talk to you,’ said she.
In expectation of her displeasure, he met it half way, setting his back against the passage wall, and dogmatically declaring, ‘You’ll be the ruin of him if you go on in this way! How is he ever to go through the world if you are to be always wiping his tears with an embroidered pocket-handkerchief, and cossetting him up like a blessed little sucking lamb?’
‘Of course he must rough it,’ said Ethel, setting her back against the opposite wall; ‘I only want him to be hardened; but after a shock like this, one cannot go on as if one was a stock or stake. Even a machine would have its wheels out of order—’
‘Well, well, but it is time that should be over.’
‘So it is;’ and as the sudden thought flashed on her, ‘Tom, I want you to reconsider your journey, that you gave up in the spring, and take him—’
‘I don’t want to go anywhere,’ he wearily said.
‘Only it would be so good for him,’ said Ethel earnestly; ‘he really ought to see something taller than the Minster tower, and you are the only right person to take him, you are so kind to him.’
‘For instance?’ he said, smiling.
‘Accidents will happen in the best regulated families; besides, he did want shaking up. I dare say he will be the better for it. There’s the dinner-bell.’
To her surprise, she found his arm round her waist, and a kiss on her brow. ‘I thought I should have caught it,’ he said; ‘you are not half a fool of a sister after all.’
Aubrey was not in the dining-room; and after having carved, Tom, in some compunction, was going to look for him, when he made his appearance in his uniform.
‘Oho!’ said the Doctor, surprised.
‘There’s to be a grand parade with the Whitford division,’ he answered; and no more was said.
Not till the eight o’clock twilight of the dripping August evening did the family reassemble. Ethel had been preparing for a journey that Mary and Gertrude were to make to Maplewood; and she did not come down till her father had returned, when following him into the drawing-room, she heard his exclamation, ‘Winter again!’
For the fire was burning, Tom was sitting crumpled over it, with his feet on the fender, and his elbows on his knees, and Aubrey in his father’s arm-chair, his feet over the side, so fast asleep that neither entrance nor exclamation roused him; the room was pervaded with an odour of nutmeg and port wine, and a kettle, a decanter, and empty tumblers told tales. Now the Doctor was a hardy and abstemious man, of a water-drinking generation; and his wife’s influence had further tended to make him—indulgent as he was—scornful of whatever savoured of effeminacy or dissipation, so his look and tone were sharp, and disregardful of Aubrey’s slumbers.