“Well, I won’t much miss him,” he had said. “Editors come and editors go but Markarian is here to stay. The one constant in a world of change.”
“Maybe it’s time for you to be a rat.”
“And leave the ship? I didn’t know that boat was sinking.”
“I think it is as far as you’re concerned,” Mary had said. “They’ve been taking you for granted for years.”
“I’m easy to take for granted.”
“Only because they’re in a position to do it. I’ve had interest from other houses on and off over the years. I never bothered you about it because I didn’t think it was worthwhile. But right about now might be a good time. I ought to be able to get you a three or four-book contract with a healthy advance. A very healthy advance, I’m thinking in terms of six figures.”
“That’s healthy, but isn’t that just numbers? I don’t have any particular need for cash at the moment.”
“Lucky you. It isn’t just numbers. It’s an investment on their part. If they put up that kind of money in front, they have to back it up with the kind of advertising and promotion you deserve. And which you’re not getting from you-know-who. All we need is the right book to make the jump with, and I think you’re writing that book right now.”
“I haven’t even let on what it’s about.”
“No, but how long have I known you, Hugh? You’ve never been this excited about anything you’ve done. That’s good enough for me.”
“Your faith is reassuring, but—”
“Cut the crap. The only thing I have faith in is that ten percent of six figures is five figures. And this new one — damn it, I can’t think of the title—”
“I never told you the title. Nice try, Mary.”
“Why don’t you tell me the title, lamb?”
“No.”
“Jesus, give me something to play with. The title, the theme, something. You’re a pro, for Christ’s sake. You’re not going to lose the handle this late in the game. You sound like one of those baseball players who won’t change their socks while the team’s on a winning streak.”
But he had been adamant and she had stopped trying to push him. Still, she kept finding excuses to call him, dangling possible deals in front of him every chance she got. He was pleased by her enthusiasm and knew it would still be there when the book was done. As far as a switch in publishers was concerned, he had told her to use her own judgment and get what she felt were the best terms at the best house.
“You’re the agent,” he had said.
“I just wanted to make sure you weren’t constitutionally opposed to a jump.”
“Why should I be?”
“The usual loyalty horseshit.”
“What’s there to be loyal to? There’s nobody who was there five years ago. I can’t even be loyal to the corporation since that conglomerate took it over.”
“Now you’re talking. You write, and I’ll scheme, and we’ll both get rich.”
The money did not much matter. It was nothing if not professional to concentrate on the money, to take the cash and let the credit go. But money as an incentive had long since failed to stir him. He had not been poor enough long enough to take real pleasure in the simple accumulation of wealth. Thus money was of value only in terms of what it could buy, and there was little he wanted to buy.
But he could not pretend that he did not want the glory. He could tell himself he wrote for his own pleasure, or for the small circle of perceptive readers, yet he recognized he wanted to be important, to be esteemed. And recognized, too, that this was a yearning one could never acknowledge.
Now he said, “What did Anita want?”
“To talk to me, mostly. She asked to talk to you, but she didn’t seem upset that you were out. I asked her if you should call her back, but she said it wasn’t important.”
“Good.”
“She seemed worried about me.”
“How so?”
“Oh, I don’t know. You know, things like what I’m going to do next. I tried to tell her that I didn’t know what I’m going to do next. That it’s a waste of time to be hung up on what I’m going to do next. She didn’t understand.”
“No, I don’t suppose she would. She’s always been the sort to think in terms of goals.”
“So you could spend your entire life thinking where you’re going next and never concentrating on where you are now. I can’t see it.”
“I’m not sure the reverse is perfect either. Spending all your time concentrating on the present and letting the future just happen.”
She nodded agreement. “Oh, I know it. But right now, the stage I’m in. The last thing I want to do is get hung up on tomorrow.” She hesitated. “I don’t think she likes the idea of me being here.”
“Thinks I’m a bad influence?”
“No, not exactly. I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t understand her at all. I compare the two of you, you and Mother, and it’s weird.”
“How so?”
“Just weird. You’re both so different. I remember when you got divorced. I couldn’t believe it. I was shocked. Not the idea of divorce. Everybody’s parents were getting divorced; it was something that happened all over the place. But the two of you. I couldn’t handle it. I suppose it’s that way for every kid because you can only think of your parents as being together because you always knew them that way. For the longest time I kept thinking you would get back together again. Even after she married him I used to think that, even though I knew it wasn’t going to happen.”
“So did I.”
“You did? I thought—”
“What?”
“Oh, that it was your idea.” He didn’t say anything, and she said, “Did you love her very much?”
“Yes.”
“And now?”
“I don’t know her now,” he said. “I haven’t known your mother for years.”
“What I was thinking. When I was a kid, while all this was happening, I thought how perfect you were for each other. Because I saw you that way. And now I see the two of you as being so completely different. Are you going to marry Linda?”
“Where did that question come from?”
“I don’t know. I guess I shouldn’t have asked it.”
“Why not? I’ve been asking myself. I find myself thinking about getting married again. It’s something I haven’t thought of in a long time. It’s probably your fault.”
“My fault?”
“I think I’ll have one more of these before I turn in. Can I fix you another?”
“All right.”
When he returned with the drinks she said, “How is it my fault?”
“You’ve made me realize how lonely I was living by myself.”
“Is it just the loneliness, or is it something special with Linda? I guess that’s nosy.”
“I guess it is, but it’s a good question. I suppose it’s probably a combination of the two. Most things are, you know.”
“The first time I was in love, later on I realized it was because I was ready to be in love.”
“Sure.”
She grinned suddenly. “When I was very little,” she said, “I thought I would get married to you when I grew up. Before I knew you couldn’t do that. Marry your father. I guess all little girls go through that, don’t they?”
“So I understand.”
Sixteen
Ever since he and Bert had talked about her, Warren Ormont had taken an interest in Melanie Jaeger. At first this consisted of little more than finding a way to drop her name into casual conversations and see where those conversations led. The result was largely a matter of inference. No one actually came right out and said anything, but from a throwaway line here and a raised eyebrow there, Warren was able to piece things together. The conclusion was what he had hoped it would be. In a selective and reasonably discreet fashion, Melanie was offering her ass around all over the place.