What is left of all the things in my life that I proclaimed and worked for? Maybe just the conviction that love is the greatest thing we can encounter in life and the most important thing we may strive for. I'm talking about human love; if God's love doesn't exist then only the human sort remains: fleeting and imperfect. But Christ talked about that sort too, and thousands of others after him. And we are still incapable of appreciating it and living by it.
Maybe it's a bad message, but accept it from me as something that is more than a declaration of love, something that is the ultimate degree of intimacy…
Love, Dan
Dearest, dearest, dearest,
I want to let you know I'm thinking about you all the time. I wanted to tell you that thanks to you I have discovered what love is. I'm not referring now to anything physical. I have in mind what you sometimes talked to me about. I was selfish, I wanted you for myself. I am ashamed of it and I apologize to you for it.
When I learned what had happened to you I was in despair and didn't know what to do. I dashed around the city like a mad thing to all the places where we had been together. And I was afraid for you and I wanted to cry and then rush to the hospital to find you and be with you and hold your hand and beg you not to forsake me. Not to forsake us. To stay here. Here! And then it suddenly struck me: I knelt on the floor and I asked Him to forgive both of us for all the bad things we had done and begged Him that you
should live. I told Him that I did not want it for myself, that I no longer want you for myself, I just want you to live, because it is only right, because the world without you would be worse than it is.
And all of a sudden I felt something extraordinary, something greater than relief. I felt that He was listening to me, that He could hear me and would take my entreaty into account, that He would forgive both me and you, because He knows that if we did something bad, it was out of love and out of helplessness and desperation, but never out of wickedness. And all of a sudden I knew that He existed, that I wasn't abandoned, just as you are not abandoned, even at the moments of greatest trial.
God is with you, my dearest, and even if I can't be with you and maybe never will be again, that's not important. He will remain with you, just like my love, as long as you live.
Love, Bára