Jess was part of his very being. He did not know her very well. She had never allowed him close enough to the person that she was. But he knew one thing. The one goal of his life, the one activity that could make it worth living, was to reach beyond the self-imposed barriers and learn to know her as well as he knew himself. He wanted her in his bed, yes. Nothing had changed that desire. But that would not be enough. Not nearly enough. He wanted Jess in his home, in his life. In his heart.
If he had discovered one thing during his long and tedious travels of the previous few weeks, he had discovered that. He loved Jessica Moore.
"We will be home in ten minutes, sir," he said, turning to his silent traveling companion with a smile, "and I do believe we will have time for a rest before dinner. I am sure you could use one."
"Damn the rest," the marquess said. "A hot bath and a good stiff drink will go a much farther way to restoring me, Rutherford. I shall spend long enough in my bed, doubtless, in the coming years unless I have the good fortune to pop off suddenly."
11
Lady Hope was looking almost pretty, Jessica decided. And it was strange really, because that lady was not dressed up in any of the finery that she usually wore when Jessica saw her. She was wearing a warm woolen dress, which had obviously seen better days. And even that was not wholly visible behind a large paint-streaked bibbed apron. Her dark hair, usually schooled into a tidy and smooth chignon, was less than immaculate, stray wisps having escaped from their bonds all over her head. Her cheeks were glowing with color.
The two ladies were relaxing on the window bench of the nursery at Hendon Park, favorite country seat of the Duke of Middleburgh. Lady Hope had been on all fours on the floor, one shrieking nephew on her back, a cousin's infant yelling to be allowed up as well, when Jessica had come to visit. The game of horsy had come to an abrupt end despite Jessica's laughter and protests. Lady Hope had scrambled to her feet, apologizing for her loss of dignity, her less than immaculate appearance, and the paint that her young niece had daubed her with earlier as they had tried to reproduce the scene from the window.
And now she was trying to appear dignified as she perched beside Jessica, ignoring the pleas of niece and nephews and other young relatives to come and play.
"I daresay I would quickly tire of playing with the little dears if I had some of my own," she said. "Foolish, is it not, my dear Miss Moore, to enjoy romping with the youngsters at my age?"
"Not at all," Jessica assured her. "I am sure they all look forward vastly to seeing you, Lady Hope. I believe too many times children see all too little of their parents or other adult members of their family until they are old enough to join them at adult entertainments."
"Just look at that child!" Lady Hope said with an indulgent smile. "No, no, Robbie, my love, it is not gentlemanly to pull your sister's hair. You see? Now you have made her angry. Don't slap, dear. Yes, I know he pulled your hair, but it is not ladylike to retaliate. There. Robbie will apologize, will you not, my love?"
"Mm." Jessica drew in a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I do believe a person can smell those mince pies all over the house. Christmas does have a special smell all its own."
"I do wonder where Charles is," Lady Hope said. "Only two days to Christmas and not a word from him. Mama will be very upset if he does not come, not to mention the rest of us. We have never had Christmas without our all being present. I remember how empty it seemed the first year without Grandpapa, though I was a mere girl at the time."
"Perhaps he will come yet," Jessica said, schooling her voice to casualness. "Surely he would have let her grace know if he were not coming at all."
Lady Hope sighed. "I do wish Charles would marry soon," she said. "My youngest niece is four years old already, and I am quite sure that Faith does not intend to have any more. It is high time Charles set up his nursery. He will be thirty on his next birthday. He just does not seem to be interested in any of the young ladies of the ton. It is said-though I should not repeat such gossip to someone of your years, Miss Moore-that he is too busy with his high flyers to be interested in more refined ladies. I do hope someone of exceptional beauty and breeding will appear next spring. Someone to catch his eye."
Jessica said nothing. The thought of Lord Rutherford paying court to a lovely girl fresh from the schoolroom made her feel slightly ill.
"I suppose I could have had children of my own if I had not been so fussy," Lady Hope said rather wistfully.
Jessica looked her inquiry.
"I have loved, you see," Lady Hope said, flashing her rather nervous smile. "And love is not always good for a person, Miss Moore. It leaves one dissatisfied with lesser feelings. You would not dream to look at me now, would you, that I had numerous offers even up to my thirtieth year? Of course, I daresay most if not all of them came because of who I am. Anyone can see that I was never a beauty. Not like Faith. But some very eligible gentlemen offered, for all that. And I refused them all. I loved my Bevin even when it was useless to do so-he had been long dead. Sometimes one regrets the lost opportunities. I would have liked to have a child."
"Yet you are still not old," Jessica said gently.
Lady Hope seemed to come out of a reverie and laughed heartily. "Oh, my dear," she said, "I am very firmly on the shelf and gathering dust. Two and thirty years old, you know, and no beauty to begin with. No matter." She patted Jessica on the knee. "I take pleasure these days in watching other people make good matches and produce children for Aunt Hope to play with. I was so glad to see Sir Godfrey arrive yesterday. I was afraid that with Charles away, he would not come. Not that he had anywhere else to go, of course, with his father away in Scotland with his sister. I thought perhaps you would be out walking with him, my dear Miss Moore."
"It is snowing," Jessica reminded her.
"And so it is." Her companion turned to look out of the window. "I hope not too hard to block the roads. Then Charles will never be able to come. Someone has arrived, though." She leaned closer to the window. "The carriage has moved away. I could not see if it was familiar. Oh, I do hope it is Charles."
Jessica sat very quiet and tense, quite unable to decide if she shared Lady Hope's sentiment or if she should pray hard that the snow would form into twenty-foot drifts so that no horse or vehicle would be able to move for a month.
"Oh, delightful, Annie!" Lady Hope exclaimed. "You have written your name, dear, and not a letter missing. How very clever you are. And now you are going to write 'Mama'? Indeed, dear, are you able to do that? Yes, certainly I will watch you."
Jessica held her breath. Had it been Lord Rutherford arriving? How soon would they know?
She had not long to wait. A mere few minutes later the door to the nursery opened to admit the animated figure of Lady Bradley.
"Oh, here you are, Miss Moore," she said. "So exciting, my dear. Grandmama is quite beside herself. Guess who has arrived?" She did not wait for an answer. "The Marquess of Heddingly. Your grandpapa! And we had no idea. Why did you not tell us? Aubrey has had the honor of meeting him once before. Such a distinguished gentleman. And he has traveled all this way to see you, Miss Moore, and to spend Christmas with us. But just listen to me prattle on. Go down immediately. He is in the blue salon with Grandmama. Oh, I am so excited for you, my dear." She caught Jessica as the latter reached the door and hugged her warmly.