"Child, still, " I whispered. Ah, the pain of this disappointment, the possibility diminishing...
"How foolish you are to think that such things could be done by me.
" The voice faded; it withdrew itself from me. And I felt my aloneness in every pore of my skin. It was as if all covering had been taken from me forever and I would always be as naked and miserable as I was now. And I felt far off a convulsion of power, as if the spirit that had made the voice was curling upon itself like a great tongue.
"Treachery! " I said louder. "But oh, the sadness of it, the miscalculation. How can you say that you desire me! " Gone it was. Absolutely gone. And desperately, I wanted it back even if it was to fight with me. I wanted that sense of possibility, that lovely flare again. And I saw his face in Notre Dame, boyish and almost sweet, like the face of an old da Vinci saint. A horrid sense of fatality passed over me.
6
As soon as Gabrielle rose, I drew her away from Nicki, out into the quiet of the forest, and I told her all that had taken place the preceding night. I told her all that Armand had suggested and said. In an embarrassed way, I spoke of the silence that existed between her and me, and of how I knew now that it wasn't to change.
"We should leave Paris as soon as possible, " I said finally. "This creature is too dangerous. And the ones to whom I gave the theater- they don't know anything other than what they've been taught by him. I say let them have Paris. And let's take the Devil's Road, to use the old queen's words. " I had expected anger from her, and malice towards Armand. But through the whole story she remained calm.
"Lestat, there are too many unanswered questions, " she said. "I want to know how this old coven started, I want to know all that Armand knows about us. "
"Mother, I am tempted to turn my back on it. I don't care how it started. I wonder if he himself even knows. "
"I understand, Lestat, " she said quietly. "Believe me, I do. When all is said and done, I care less about these creatures than I do about the trees in this forest or the stars overhead. I'd rather study the currents of wind or the patterns in the falling leaves. . . "
"Exactly. "
"But we mustn't be hasty. The important thing now is for the three of us to remain together. We should go into the city together and prepare slowly for our departure together. And together, we must try your plan to rouse Nicolas with the violin. " I wanted to talk about Nicki. I wanted to ask her what lay behind his silence, what could she divine? But the words dried up in my throat. I thought as I had all along of her judgment in those first moments: "Disaster, my son. " She put her arm around me and led me back towards the tower.
"I don't have to read your mind, " she said, "to know what's in your heart. Let's take him to Paris. Let's try to find the Stradivarius. " She stood on tiptoe to kiss me. "We were on the Devil's Road together before all this happened, " she said. "We'll be on it soon again. " It was as easy to take Nicolas into Paris as to lead him in everything else. Like a ghost he mounted his horse and rode alongside of us, only his dark hair and cape seemingly animate, whipped about as they were by the wind. When we fed in the Ile de la Cite, I found I could not watch him hunt or kill. It gave me no hope to see him doing these simple things with the sluggishness of a somnambulist. It proved nothing more than that he could go like this forever, our silent accomplice, little more than a resuscitated corpse. Yet an unexpected feeling came over me as we moved through the alleyways together. We were not two, but three, now. A coven. And if only I could bring him around. But the visit to Roget had to come first. I alone had to confront the lawyer. So I left them to wait only a few doors from his house, and as I pounded the knocker, I braced myself for the most grueling performance yet of my theatrical career. Well, I was very quickly to learn an important lesson about mortals and their willingness to be convinced that the world is a safe place. Roget was overjoyed to see me. He was so relieved that I was "alive and in good health " and still wanted his services, that he was nodding his acceptance before my preposterous explanations had even begun. (And this lesson about mortal peace of mind I never forgot. Even if a ghost is ripping a house to pieces, throwing tin pans all over, pouring water on pillows, making clocks chime at all hours, mortals will accept almost any "natural explanation " offered, no matter how absurd, rather than the obvious supernatural one, for what is going on.) Also it became clear almost at once that he believed Gabrielle and I had slipped out of the flat by the servants' door to the bedroom, a nice possibility I hadn't considered before. So all I did about the twisted-up candelabra was mumble something about having been mad with grief when I saw my mother, which he understood right off. As for the reason for our leaving, well, Gabrielle insisted upon being removed from everyone and taken to a convent, and there she was right now.
"Ah, Monsieur, it's a miracle, her improvement, " I said. "If you could only see her-but never mind. We're going on to Italy immediately with Nicolas de Lenfent, and we need currency, letters of credit, whatever, and a traveling coach, a huge traveling coach, and a good team of six. You take care of it. Have it all ready by Friday evening early. And write to my father and tell him we're taking my mother to Italy. My father is all right, I presume? "
"Yes, yes, of course, I didn't tell him anything but the most reassuring- "
"How clever of you. I knew I could trust you. What would I do without you? And what about these rubies, can you turn them into money for me immediately? And I have here some Spanish coins to sell, quite old, I think. " He scribbled like a madman, his doubts and suspicions fading in the heat of my smiles. He was so glad to have something to do!
"Hold my property in the boulevard du Temple vacant, " I said.
"And of course, you'll manage everything for me. And so forth and so on. " My property in the boulevard de Temple, the hiding place of a ragged and desperate band of vampires unless Armand had already found them and burnt them up like old costumes. I should find the answer to that question soon enough. I came down the steps whistling to myself in strictly human fashion, overjoyed that this odious task had been accomplished. And then I realized that Nicki and Gabrielle were nowhere in sight. I stopped and turned around in the street. I saw Gabrielle just at the moment I heard her voice, a young boyish figure emerging full blown from an alleyway as if she had just made herself material on the spot.
"Lestat, he's gone-vanished, " she said. I couldn't answer her. I said something foolish, like "What do you mean, vanished! " But my thoughts were more or less drowning out the words in my own head.
If I had doubted up until this moment that I loved him, I had been lying to myself.
"I turned my back, and it was that quick, I tell you, " she said. She was half aggrieved, half angry.
"Did you hear any other... "
"No. Nothing. He was simply too quick. "
"Yes, if he moved on his own, if he wasn't taken... "
"I would have heard his fear if Armand had taken him, " she insisted. "But does he feel fear? Does he feel anything at all? " I was utterly terrified and utterly exasperated. He'd vanished in a darkness that spread out all around us like a giant wheel from its axis. I think I clenched my fist. I must have made some uncertain little gesture of panic.
"Listen to me, " she said. "There are only two things that go round and round in his mind... "
"Tell me! "
"One is the pyre under les Innocents where he was almost burned. And the other is a small theater-footlights, a stage. "