Hormone-riddled teenage brain at work here.
‘Eric and the other apprentices are just regular guys, aren’t they? Human?’
Midnight stared into her lap, silent.
Holy crap. What am I supposed to do about this?
‘Will you consider holding off on any more cutting and blood-drinking activities until we explore the possible consequences more thoroughly?’
She stayed silent for so long that I feared she might leap up and flee the office, but she finally clicked her tongue against the back of her teeth. ‘I guess.’
I let out the breath I’d been unconsciously holding. Whew. Talk about a pregnant pause. Even if she’s just humouring me, it’s a start.
‘Thank you, Midnight. I appreciate your open mind and your willingness to trust in our work together. So, outside of the rituals at Eric’s apartment, the apprentices mostly just dress up and hang around with Dev and his vampire friends at the club downtown?’
She nodded.
‘Tell me more about Dev.’
She got that faraway look in her eyes again and lifted out of the subdued mood she’d retreated into.
‘He really rocks. So hot. He’s over six feet tall. I am so into tall guys. Gorgeous long blond hair, aqua – not blue, not green, but aqua – eyes, and a killer bod. He’s always wearing some kind of tight dark leather.’ She sighed and drifted off again for a moment.
Hmmm. That does sound interesting.
Chuckling, I said, ‘I get the picture. But what’s his story? Why is he hanging out at a bar in downtown Denver? What does he do? Who is he?’
‘He doesn’t talk much about that. He told me once that he’s been a vampire for eight hundred years and that he really loves Colorado because the mountains remind him of some place in Europe he lived before he died. He said he’s only been here in the United States for about thirty years. Before that, he lived in some country where they speak a weird language, and he has a funny accent. But an amazing voice. He seems to have a ton of money. He has this excellent loft down the street from the bar, which, by the way, he also owns. The loft is so cool. Sometimes he lets us come over and blast some tunes, and he always keeps lots of food around, even though he doesn’t eat any of it.’
He’s been a vampire for eight hundred years? That’s quite a wild story. Why does this supposedly gorgeous, wealthy man hang around with teenagers? He invites them to his loft but has lots of rules for them. Does he see himself as a father figure? Or is he a clever predator?
I shifted my gaze to the clock and back. ‘Dev sounds like an interesting man and I’d like to hear more about him, but we’re out of time for today. Can you come back tomorrow?’
‘Sure. I don’t have much else to do during the day when all the vampires are asleep.’
This is much more serious than I thought. If this man actually exists, it isn’t going to be easy to convince her that his vampire claim isn’t real. She’s besotted.
‘Thanks for telling me the story,’ I said. ‘It helps me to know you better. I look forward to discussing the vampires – and Dev – in greater detail.’
She nodded, smoothed her dress then draped her cape on her shoulders. ‘It’s good to talk to somebody about it. I have to be careful what I tell anyone. Even Emerald.’
Can’t even tell her friend? Predators isolate and control their victims, threaten them to keep the secrets.
I walked over to my desk and collected the appointment book. We settled on a time for the next day and she left. I would have to rearrange my schedule to squeeze her in, but it couldn’t be helped. Midnight’s situation had escalated from troubling to dangerous.
After my last client that evening, I updated files and added progress notes. My attention kept returning to Midnight and my clear sense that she’d got caught up in a sick situation she was unprepared for. The more I thought about it, the greater the realisation that I had no firm foundation for establishing an effective treatment. I didn’t know if her vampire tale was completely delusional, and none of the characters she mentioned actually existed, or if she was involved with individuals who were taking advantage of her naïveté for nefarious purposes and encouraging the fantasy. Both choices sucked, no pun intended.
Maybe I could find out if any of the people involved were under eighteen and get social services involved. Role-playing predators. What was next?
Clearly, I needed more resources. Luckily, one of Denver’s few remaining independent bookstores, The Torn Cover, was conveniently located a few blocks from my office. I decided to swing by on my way home and check their large selection of psychology books to see what I could find. Since the store would still be open for a couple of hours and I hadn’t eaten much during the day, I stopped in the restaurant next door for a sandwich and a glass of wine.
I was halfway through my meal when a very attractive man entered and sat at the bar. Dressed in a flattering dark suit, his wavy light-brown hair skimmed the collar of his shirt and his strong features created an appealing profile. My entire body tensed up. I hadn’t been exaggerating when I told Nancy that being in the presence of a great-looking male – in a non-work situation – brought out the worst in me. She knew some of the facts about my childhood, but not all of them. I was a classic example of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. My shyness had been a beacon, attracting every predator in the environment, including the popular handsome boys who’d taunted me. Even now, part of me wanted to regress into a stammering adolescent, waiting for the next cruel prank or hateful humiliation.
The table I’d chosen was in a dark corner, so I figured I was safe. Invisible. I wouldn’t even have to be polite, and, once again, I’d keep the world from discovering my acute social discomfort. Not that the world cared, of course, but I clung to my illusions. Maybe it was just me who didn’t want to face them.
Just as I drank the last swallow of wine, the man turned on his stool, stared directly at me and smiled. He lifted his wineglass in my direction.
Okay. Here’s my opportunity to connect with a man. How hard can it be? Just smile back, Kismet. Nothing bad will happen.
My heart tripped and my stomach muscles tightened.
Maybe next time . . .
As a psychologist, I knew several techniques to calm anxiety. I’d mastered many of them. And they often worked. But if I could distance myself – flee – that was always my option of choice.
I made a quick, ungraceful exit from the restaurant, bumping a table as I passed, and entered the bookstore. I didn’t have the nerve to look back to check the man’s reaction to my hasty retreat.
What a wack-job, Kismet.
As usual, I was annoyed at myself for not being able to confront my issue. Once again I’d been ridiculous and childish, reacting as if every man was out to hurt me, and I wasn’t strong enough to handle it. I thought about Nancy’s challenge – her suggestion that I walk up to a handsome man and just make conversation. I cringed.
Get a grip, Kismet! You’re supposed to be an expert at these things. You can do it! Force yourself. Stop being a wuss. Just find a man and go say hello. Pretend he’s a client. You don’t have any problems talking to male clients. You’re good at hiding behind your professional persona. This weird behaviour only happens in your personal life.
Browsing through the bookshelves soothed me, and I soon found myself engrossed in reading the titles on the spines. Determined to deal with my fear, I lifted a new release off the shelf, opened it, and pretended to skim the page while looking around for an appropriate male. After a couple of minutes, I noticed a man in a tan business suit perusing the computer section on the shelf behind me. Giving myself a pep talk, I gathered my will and turned, planning to inch over to where I thought he was standing. I bumped into his back. He’d obviously moved.