I brought him into the kitchen and sat him down at the breakfast bar. I offered him coffee; he asked for espresso then sat in silence while I prepared it. I sometimes think espresso has become the twenty-first century equivalent of the vindaloo. You’re not a real man unless you can take it full strength.
I put the cup in front of him and noticed the nails of his right hand were long and well-shaped with the gloss of acrylic varnish, while the left-hand nails were trimmed short and neat. He saw me notice and moved his right hand out of sight.
‘You’re a guitarist,’ I said.
He looked uncomfortable. ‘I play a bit,’ he said. ‘It’s a good way to unwind.’
‘What kind of stuff do you play?’
‘Acoustic. Finger-picking. A little bit of jazz.’ He shifted in his seat. ‘Does it come with the territory, asking the questions?’
‘You mean, because I’m a ghost writer?’
He nodded. ‘Is it something you can’t help?’
There’s so much in our lives that we never question. I had to think for a moment before I could formulate an answer that wasn’t a glib throwaway. Somehow, I didn’t want to palm him off with that. ‘It’s a bit of a chicken and an egg question,’ I said. ‘I’m not sure whether I’ve developed the habit of asking questions because I’m determined to do my job as well as I can, or if I ended up going down this route because I like drawing answers out of people.’ I smiled. ‘I suppose I like being the one in the know. The one with the inside track.’
Nick nodded, looking pleased with himself. ‘That’s what George Lyall said. “Stephanie notices things. And she knows how to ask questions that get answers.”’
‘I still don’t understand why you want to talk to me. I don’t know anything about what happened to Joshu.’
‘According to Mr Lyall you know all the people at the heart of this tragedy. You knew Joshu. You’re probably Scarlett’s best friend. You know Dr Graham and you’ve been to the clinic with Scarlett while she’s been undergoing treatment. I’m trying to form a picture of what happened here. And I often find it helpful to talk to someone like you. Someone not directly concerned with what happened but who has a good understanding of the individuals and the relationships involved.’ His smile was dead sexy. I know it was wildly inappropriate to be thinking like that with Joshu barely cold, but I couldn’t help it. Since the debacle with Pete, I hadn’t met a man who’d provoked the slightest reaction in me.
‘You don’t sound very like a cop,’ I said.
‘Maybe it’s your idea of cops that’s out of date?’
I think I blushed. ‘Well, ask your questions and we’ll see, shall we?’
‘Were you surprised to hear Joshu had died from an overdose?’
Straight to the point. No small talk to warm me up. I understood the gambit. I’d used the ambush technique myself more than once. ‘He’s been into drugs for as long as I’ve known him. Which is just over three years. So in that sense, no, it wasn’t a surprise. But I was quite shocked because he always struck me as someone who knew what he was doing.’ I sighed. ‘It’s hard to explain, but I never quite believed Joshu was as out of control as he wanted people to think. I always thought there was something quite calculated about his behaviour. I never saw him as a candidate for an overdose. But that’s the thing about drugs. People think they’re in charge of their abuse when actually they’re not. Joshu might have believed he was managing his drug use when the truth was he didn’t know what the hell he was doing.’
Nick gave me a shrewd look. ‘I can’t argue with that analysis.’ It was a lot later when I discovered why he spoke with such feeling. ‘Did he always seem to have plenty of money?’
‘He was always flash. He earned a lot, I know that. But from what Scarlett said when they were divorcing, he spent it as fast as he made it.’ My smile this time was wry. ‘Scarlett said he’d found out the hard way how expensive cheap women were. I think he kept his head above water, but I don’t know whether he had much in the way of assets. He didn’t have a house, for example. He had a lock-up for all his work gear, but he used to crash with friends or shack up with whoever he was dating.’
‘He didn’t have any money worries that you knew of?’
I shook my head. ‘He could always earn good money. When he came round to pick Jimmy up, he always seemed flush.’
‘In that case, why would he steal drugs? It’s not like he was some junkie on his uppers, from what you’re saying.’
‘I think you’re asking the wrong question.’ I realised I was talking to Nick the way I would to someone I knew. Someone I trusted. But it felt natural, so I didn’t rein myself in. ‘It’s not why he would steal drugs but who he was taking the drugs from. Joshu was jealous of anyone who had Scarlett’s attention. He was jealous of his own son, for heaven’s sake. In his eyes, Simon Graham was no more than another competitor for Scarlett’s attention. Stealing from him would be like a dog peeing on a lamppost. I think Joshu was staking out his territory. Showing Simon who was boss. It’s heartbreaking, really. A bit of macho posturing, and this is how it ends up.’ My stomach suddenly rumbled like car tyres on a cattle grid. That’s what you get when you go all day without eating. I pushed my hair back and stood up. ‘Do you want something to eat? I just realised I’m starving. I’m going to make a sandwich – do you want one?’
Taken aback, he scratched his head. ‘Yeah, why not?’
I raked around in the fridge, all the while answering apparently pointless questions about Joshu and Scarlett. I ended up with two chicken salad wraps with Caesar dressing which I plonked on plates in front of us. ‘Not very exciting, I’m afraid. This is not the home of haute cuisine.’
He chuckled. ‘I imagine not.’
‘We have a very fine collection of home-delivery menus, however.’
‘Did you think Joshu and Scarlett would ever get back together?’ he asked through a mouthful of sandwich.
‘No chance,’ I said. ‘She loved him, but she knew she was better off without him. Getting cancer reset the zeros for her. She reordered her priorities and bad relationships was number one on the list of stuff she wasn’t going to do any more. She hasn’t so much as had a date with anyone since the divorce, never mind her diagnosis.’
He raised his eyebrows in a polite expression of dubiety. ‘Not according to the tabloids,’ he said.
I felt the sudden clench of horror in my chest. I’d let my guard slip and said something deeply, deeply stupid. It hadn’t been Scarlett in the papers. It had been Leanne putting on a show, of course. Was I so pathetic that a kind and attractive man could dismantle my careful barricades as if they were made of paper? ‘Not everything that’s in the tabloids is true,’ I said hastily. ‘It’s part of her job, to keep her name in the tabloids.’
He looked mildly scornful. ‘I suppose.’
I tried not to show my relief at having apparently got away with it. And it seemed Nick had run out of questions. So I took my chance. ‘How did you get to be a cop?’
‘I did a psychology degree. And I didn’t want to be any of the things people usually do with a psychology degree. The idea of being a detective interested me but I didn’t know if I could hack the journey to get there. I signed up without really knowing if I could cut it.’ He grinned and shrugged. ‘So far, so good.’ He finished his sandwich and stood up. ‘Thanks for feeding me. And thanks for filling in the background.’