I suppose I should be nervous. I’m not. There is nothing that can stop what’s about to happen. I’m like the rising moon. Strong, powerful. The controller of the tides.
I rolled out of the bathroom, my hair wet, my robe tied tightly around my waist. Camille sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for me. When our eyes met, her plump lips rose in a sweet smile. There was certainly one thing I was looking forward to when I had my legs and my whole body back. She blushed as my eyes ran over her body. She was beautiful. Perfect for me. Supportive and loyal. I held out my hand, and she took it.
“I’ll help you dress,” she said, standing and making her way over to the closet to find me a shirt.
“Thank you, darling,” I whispered.
“Of course,” she replied dutifully, pulling a shirt out and holding it up for me to approve. I nodded at the second one.
I wheeled closer, grabbed her hand, and pulled her gently down to my level so I could look her in the eyes. “I want to thank you for standing by me,” I said, suddenly not wanting to look in her eyes.
Her eyebrows rose briefly. She seemed surprised but as per usual, she hid it well. She composed herself and unwrapped my robe, placing her soft hands on my chest.
“Soon I’ll be able to do this myself,” I said.
She leaned me forward and put my shirt over my back, doing up the buttons, even though I certainly could do that on my own.
“I don’t mind, dear,” she said, gazing down at a button and rolling it between her delicate fingers.
I put my hand over hers and leaned in to kiss her cheek. “I know.”
The door flung open, and Camille jumped back from me.
“What the devil!” I shouted, aiming my voice towards the soldier standing shakily in my doorway. “Even if this isn’t the most important information you’ve ever had to deliver, you’re still going to be repurposed, boy. How dare you barge into my bedroom!”
Camille stood angrily and stormed over to the soldier. “What is your name?” He told her, and she made a note of it. Yes, she was perfect, but then I had made sure she would be exactly what I wanted.
“What is it, soldier?”
“It’s the girl. Miss Rosa,” the soldier began. That name. I was looking forward to deleting that name from the register personally. My finger ached to press the key that would signal her existence terminated. But not yet.
“What about her?” I snapped impatiently.
“She escaped.”
JOSEPH
The nights were blending, bleeding into each other as the alcohol flowed. Distance grew between me and what I should be. But I didn’t mind the sinking. The forgetting. It kept the nightmares away. It kept the feelings from drowning me. I just didn’t care. About anything.
I could be a lonely star in the sky. I could be a leaf, trampled into the dirt. I am as light as air and as heavy as lead.
If I stood in front of an x-ray right now, I wasn’t sure what you’d see. A heart not beating strong, lungs shriveled from lack of real air.
I was afraid of losing her, and I was afraid of finding her.
If I do find you, Rosa, I’m not sure if you’ll be able to find me.
ROSA
Ten minutes ago, I was listening to a conversation.
“You can tell him,” the younger guard said, holding Denis’ handheld up. Grant’s number flashed, bold and intimidating on the screen, the photo, a generic silhouette of a man.
The guard shook his head, pointing a knobbly, scarred finger towards his partner. “No way. You.”
My wrists ached, the plastic ties digging in and shredding my skin. “Is Denis, I mean, Master Grant, is he ok?”
They ignored me. “There is no way in hell I’m going in there. Let’s just make the new guy do it.”
They laughed together.
“Great idea.”
I stood like a stump in the ground, solid and dying. My hands stretched tightly behind my back, lost in Grant’s stifling office. A long window framed the view at the back of his grand, architectural home and called to me. Frosty, green grass carpeted the hill and slipped down to meet a rectangle of frozen water. Bright blue, shimmering tiles bordered the pool. Two long chairs, open like books and dusted with ice, stretched out under a wooden pergola. I leaned closer; a ladder perforated the ice. I squinted at the water, fascinated by what its purpose could be. The guard grabbed my bindings and pulled me from the window. I jerked away from his touch. Some of my boldness from my escape clung to me like sawdust after a clean cut. But it wouldn’t last.
Towers of books climbed the walls. Books with titles like “Your Power”, “Success is Simple”, “The Psychology of Influence.” I raised my eyebrows and small smile poked its way through my armor. Nestled in a small corner behind a step stool were a few fiction books. Two rested against each other and seemed like they were leaning away from the others. A bookmark poked out of the top of “Black Beauty” and “Oliver Twist” lay against it. I wished Joseph were here, he would know these books. He would laugh. He would…
I stopped still, and my breath left me. I’m never going to see him again.
I didn’t turn at the now-familiar squeak of wheels.
“Untie her please.” Grant’s voice was scarily calm.
The guard severed the tie with a knife, and my arms snapped back into place. I rolled my shoulders.
“You may leave,” he said to the guard, wheeling around me and parking behind the chair-less desk.
I stood motionless in the center of the room. My feet were caught in the quicksand of this opulent rug, the pills still rolled into my sock. I shifted to one leg.
“There were many other ways to try and get what you wanted,” Grant said, his hands flat on his desk, his arms cutting a sharp right angle at the elbow.
I eyed the letter opener lying across the green, vinyl desktop. A computer screen shone to one side. I could just stab him. He was going to kill me anyway. My hands wouldn’t move.
He noticed me eyeing it, placed his hand on the letter opener, and swept it into his desk drawer, shutting it with a bang.
“I saw your hysterics at the holding cells on here,” he said, tapping the screen. “You wanted to be with your friend, Gwen is it? Ransacking a dead woman’s home was not the way. It was…” He paused, stroking his beard, and I wanted to slap it from his face. “…unacceptable. Have you no respect? Now you will not be allowed to view her procedure. I had wanted you to see her heal, to see that I’m not the monster you think I am.”
I pressed my lips together. This man was so arrogant, so sure of himself, that he wasn’t even going to ask me why I broke in to Este’s compound. He just assumed he knew the answer and presumed he was right. I stepped forward and he arched an eyebrow, a dark smile tugging at his bristled lips.
My voice grew in my throat until it was too loud for me to hold in. “What do you care what I think of you?”
His eyes narrowed. He slicked his hand through his thinning hair and shook his head, as if he wasn’t really sure either.
“You represent an element of rebellion, an exercising of will that I need to understand to quash. It is a threat to the health of our society.”
I snorted. I was just one girl. I didn’t represent anything. He wanted to see me suffer. That was the only reason for any of this—punishment. He could push me as far as he liked, but he would never understand me.
“Is Denis all right?” I asked stupidly.