“In no more than a short while,” I said, returning the half-distracted look I was getting. “And what might be left of Tammad to be rescued, after that short while? Should Roodar and the Chama find themselves under attack by l’lendaa, will they not deem it wiser to rid themselves of embarrassing captives, Cinnan and Aesnil included? Or perhaps they will slay those captives out of spite, should it seem to them that the palace is about to fall. Do you truly think it best that we wait, Dallan?”
“No,” he growled, sounding nearly out of control, rising quickly to his feet again to pace around the small dim room. “To attack alone is likely to cost our lives, yet in honor we may do nothing else. Or perhaps I should say, I must do nothing else. You need not accompany me and shall not.”
“And in what way do you mean to best the Hand of Power without my presence?” I asked, going back to my thick whatever without feeling insulted. Dallan was talking just to hear himself talk, and we both knew it. “Leelan has told us both of that, has she not?”
“Leelan,” he growled again, staring out the window at the pouring rain, right hand on the wall, left hand on sword hilt. “Never, in all the days of my life, have I ever come across one such as she. She has refused to wear my bands, Terril, refused even to discuss the matter! Each darkness she comes to my furs and my arms, knowing me unable to refuse her, and yet she will not have my bands.”
“I have never before heard of a wenda being allowed to refuse a l’lenda,” I ventured, aching for the pain I knew was in him. Dallan had always seemed to prefer very free women, the freer the woman, the more he was interested. Leelan was obviously irresistible to him, but apparently she didn’t see it the same way.
“Leelan is a warrior, and cannot be done as an ordinary wenda,” he said, his voice thick with disgust. “When first I brought my bands out, meaning to close them on her, she informed me that if I attempted to do her so she would be honor-bound to face me over bared blades. Some custom of this accursed place forbids her banding, yet even this she refused to speak of. Her heart is mine even as mine is hers, this I know beyond all possible doubt, and yet she continues to refuse me.”
“Can there be another?” I asked, hesitant to bring the point up but deciding it was better said straight out. “She spoke to me once of the custom in which w’wendaa band their men. Can it be she has put her bands on someone, and cannot honorably reclaim them?”
“There are no others, even such as that,” he said, turning his head to give me a look that said to stop talking dirty. “She has assured me that no other stands higher in her eyes, and yet she will not have me. Should there be a child as the result of our coupling, she has said, she will send the child to me as is proper, and yet- My mind goes to other things as well. ”
Like wanting to spend the rest of your life with her, I thought, sharing every bit of his bewildered hurt. He was staring out the window again, as gray and wretched as the dark, rainy day, and I wished I could think of something to help him.
“It makes no matter to her that you are a prince of Gerleth?” I asked, just to be saying something while my mind cast uselessly about, and then that suddenly became a damned good possibility. “Dallan, perhaps that is the reason for her refusal. Her love of Vediaster is more than great, and she cannot bear the thought of leaving it forever. Were you not a prince of Gerleth, you might well have remained with her here. ”
“It cannot be,” he said, shaking his head against something he’d already thought of and discarded. “Leelan knows naught of me save that Gerleth is my home, nor has she attempted to suggest that I remain with her. She has given me her heart and her body, yet her soul she seems honor-bound to retain.”
I opened my mouth to say that that didn’t make any sense, but just then the door was also opened-by Hestin. He walked in and saw Dallan as Dallan turned to look at him, nodded politely, then brought himself over to me.
“It seems scarcely likely that I will permit your departure this darkness,” he said, crouching down and reaching for the bowl I held. “Already the streets are turning to mud, and the air has taken on a chill. To court illness would be an unnecessary foolishness.”
“Oh, absolutely unnecessary,” I agreed, reaching around my shield again, this time with part of an extreme fear reaction. It’s possible for some people to become so frightened that they lose control of their bowels and bladder, and it was this loss of control that I touched Hestin with. Not all of it, of course, only the urge toward the reaction, but the abrupt expression on his face told me that that was enough. He pulled his hand back and straightened in a single motion, turned away without a word, and this time broke into a hobbling run before disappearing. Dallan stared after him in surprise, but when he turned back to look at me the surprise was gone.
“And what would occur if I were to speak to Tammad of this once we have released him?” he asked, folding his arms across his chest in an effort to look stern. He obviously knew I’d done something to Hestin, and wasn’t about to waste his breath simply with accusations. I suddenly felt the definite urge to squirm where I sat, and that despite the perfectly good out I had.
“You may speak to Tammad of whatever you wish,” I said, leaning forward to replace the bowl on the tray. “It was he who informed me that I must decide for myself when my ability is to be exercised. I merely felt the need for a small amount of exercise.”
“Wenda, he has only your well-being in mind,” Dallan said, clearly referring to Hestin, the amusement in his eyes appearing faintly on his face. “To cause him difficulty for his concern would not be honorable.”
“I cause him only small difficulty,” I muttered, feeling more than ever like a child caught being naughty, paying a lot of attention to adjusting the cover fur on me. “He knows well enough that I shall do as I must, yet persists in attempting to direct me. Where lies the honor in that course?”
“We all of us do as we must,” he said, suddenly crouching beside the bed to take my chin in his hand and raise my face. “It is a man’s solemn duty to care for the woman of another in that other’s absence, to see to her safety and wellbeing even should she wish it otherwise. That Hestin demands your obedience is right and proper, honorable as leaving you to your own devices would not be. You cannot fault him for his treatment of you.”
“Can I not?” I snapped, pushing his big hand away from me with the quick outrage I felt. “And who sees to Leelan when she wishes it otherwise? Who is there whom she must obey? She is female just as I am; for what reason is she allowed freedom the while I am not?”
“Leelan is w’wenda,” he said with a sigh, his blue eyes trying not to show that patience-with—a-child look. “You, sister, are one of those who are not, you are one who requires the protection and direction of a man. Although the bands were taken, you remain a banded wenda, one who must obey in all things. It was not Hestin who banded you, yet must you obey him as well.”
I was just about to tell him exactly how obedient I intended being toward everyone in sight, when once again the door opening stole my opportunity. This time it was Leelan who came in, but she wasn’t alone. The people behind her formed a good-sized crowd, adding to my sudden feeling that the small room had recently been declared a transport departure area. Her face took on a very brief but very peculiar expression when she saw Dallan crouched near my bed, but by the time he’d straightened and turned, it was gone.
“Forgive the intrusion, Terril, yet there are matters which must be discussed between us,” she said, not even glancing again at Dallan. “There are those who have come to make your acquaintance, and they, too, have words to be spoken.”