As it turned out, I didn’t have to do a thing. If I’d tried pretending to be asleep I’m sure he would have known, but the real thing gets rid of the need for pretense. I awoke to find the day even dimmer than it had been. It was still raining out there, making the room close and damp and even somewhat on the chilly side, and I lay quietly in the furs that were no longer too heavy, sliding from sleep to thinking with no effort at all.
Only one more night had to pass, and then I would be going after my beloved, freeing him from a terrible captivity. I still didn’t want to wait, was still afraid that the extra night could make any rescue attempt pointless, but the others had convinced me that to go into the palace without their support would most likely turn out badly. And even if I managed to get Tammad out, what would happen to Cinnan and Aesnil? I couldn’t simply leave them to their fate, and if the plan we’d developed worked right everyone would be free, not only the three latest captives. Most if it depended on me, of course, and I almost smiled at the memory of Tammad’s annoyance when I’d thought I was so important to the search for Aesnil. This time I really was important, and the feeling was anything but comfortable. So many people depending on the success of just one, when all I really wanted was . . . .
“Terril, are you awake?” a soft voice asked, coming from right near the door. I turned my head and lifted it a little to peer into the gloom, and was just able to make out Leelan, half hidden by the door edge.
“Yes, I am awake,” I acknowledged, watching her come more fully into the room before closing the door behind her. “That is, I am awake only if you have come alone. Should Dallan be with you and be waiting in the hall, I am deeply asleep. ”
“No, it is only I,” she assured me with a chuckle, stopping to light a few of the candles around the room. Once it was done the room seemed warmer and cozier, and then she brought over a few cushions for me before taking some for her own comfort at the side of my bed. “For what reason would you not wish to see Dallan?” she asked as she settled herself on the carpet fur.
“The beast has too great a devotion to duty,” I answered with a grimace as I arranged the pillows behind me, then turned back to her. “His greatest concern is for me, I know, yet I dislike the manner in which he exhibits that concern.”
“Perhaps-perhaps he means to face your memabrak once he has been freed,” Leelan suggested in an oh-so-casual way, looking down at her hands while she spoke. “He has no woman in his bands, I know, and is not a man to go long without one, and seems even closer to you than helid would account for, and . . . .”
“Leelan,” I said, cutting into what promised to be a list of extreme length, “you believe Dallan considers putting me in his bands?”
“You are a very beautiful woman, Terril, and one who, as Deegor pointed out, bears no weapons,” she said, looking up at me as though it were an effort. “You would do well for him in his bands, I know, and give him the pleasure he should have. Perhaps he will not need to face your memabrak, perhaps you will merely be sold to him.”
“Allow me to assure you that I will not be sold to him,” I said, resettling the cover fur on me while trying to decide whether or not to be annoyed. “You will need to find another for Dallan to put his bands upon.”
“You mistake me, Terril,” she said, flushing in the candleglow before looking down again. “I need not seek a woman for his bands, he is more than capable of doing such a thing for himself. I merely thought that perhaps, as he shows so great an interest in you—”
“That you would prepare me for being banded by him,” I finished when she didn’t, opting finally for curiosity over annoyance. “There is little likelihood of the thing occurring, and yet now that I think upon it there would surely be some benefit. Though his appearance is far from the handsomest his body is not entirely unacceptable, and although his talent in the furs is somewhat on the modest side . . . .”
“Far from the handsomest?” she repeated immediately, her eyes suddenly blazing, so incensed I could feel it through the curtain. “His body not entirely unacceptable? His talents modest! Have you lost your senses, girl? Never have I seen one as handsome as he, with shoulders so broad and chest so deep! And trim, he is trim as well! And as for his ability in the furs, he is beyond comparison! To see it otherwise is to be without sight.”
She had straightened to sitting instead of leaning down comfortably, and the glare she was sending was designed to fry and wither. If I’d been armed the way she was I would probably already be challenged, and that almost made me smile.
“It seems clear, Leelan, that there is already one who sees the matter in the proper light,” I pointed out, doing nothing in the way of reacting to her indignation. “Perhaps that one would do best in Dallan’s bands.”
Her glare cut off as she realized what she’d said, but rather than getting flustered she seemed to slump. I could feel a small trace of embarrassment in her when I touched her mind, but mostly what I felt was hopeless resignation.
“No man would long keep a w’wenda in wenda bands, even were she to permit the banding,” I was told with a sigh, watching her go back to leaning on her cushions, her eyes avoiding mine again. “And even above that, my life in that respect is not mine to do with as I please.”
“Who might there be who would dare to attempt to direct a w’wenda?” I asked, feeling the least bit outraged myself. Leelan was free in a way I wasn’t, and although I envied and begrudged her that freedom, I couldn’t stand the thought of her not having it.
“There is scarcely a daring to the matter,” she answered, smiling faintly as she looked up at me. “We have not spoken of this sooner for there was no need, and yet now there is no need to keep from speaking of it. The Chama Farian slew the former Chama when she marched on the palace, slaying also the Chama’s memabrak. The children of the two were not then in Vediaster, and returned to find the deed already done. I am one of those children.”
I stared at her without saying anything, wondering how you were supposed to express sympathy and sorrow for a loss like that in words, but she waved a hand at me and shook her head.
“You need not speak for in my mind the time now seems long ago, and soon my blood will be avenged,” she said, controlling her inner self even as she reassured me. “My brothers and I, upon learning of what Farian had done, were all of a mind to attack at once, no matter that our lives would be lost in attempting hers. Nearly did we proceed with the attack, yet were we kept from it by the arrival of a messenger from the new Chama. We were informed that our plans were known to Farian, and if we were indeed to attack, the people of the city would pay for our foolhardiness. All of our friends and helid brothers and sisters would follow us down to death through execution, and then would strangers and innocents be executed as well. My brothers were ordered from the city along with other l’lendaa then in residence, and I—I was ordered to remain.”
“For what purpose?” I asked, surreptitiously helping her regain control. The memories bothered her more than she admitted, which wasn’t, after all, terribly surprising.
“For my original purpose,” she said, relaxing just a little more as she ran one hand through her long blonde hair. “Even had my mother lived, I would not have become Chama after her. To be Chama one must be strong with the power, and all knew I was not. Likely would one of my brothers have banded the new Chama, as my father banded my mother, and I would have served Vediaster as was originally meant-as mate to one whose country we wished an alliance with. To seal the bargain I would have become a memabra of sorts, and then would my duty have been seen to. Farian, without issue of her own, had need of one such as I for the same purpose, most especially as I was issue of the last Chama, who had taken the throne through the blood right of my father as well as her own power. Were she to demand that I pledge myself to the man of her choice, I would find it possible to do no other thing. Those closest to me continue to stand as hostage, and once given, my word could not be retrieved.”