Supported by the coldness I retained my touch, and Farian’s laugh turned instantly into a scream, her hands going to her head as though she thought she could physically thrust me away. Absolute silence returned with that scream, a shocked and disbelieving silence, but one that seemed to understand exactly what had happened.
“No!” Farian screamed again, her eyes wild with fear, her hands still at her head. “I cannot bear to be hurt! I give you my surrender and you must accept it!”
Her mind really was frantic, mainly due to the lack of self-confidence she’d always suffered from, but I could see that surrender was a weapon to her, a way of protecting herself from someone stronger until she had the opportunity to knife them in the back. That was the way she’d always used to get out of paying for the things she’d been caught doing, but if I let her get away with it I’d be as guilty of her next viciousness as she was.
“The opportunity to surrender was given you earlier, just before your rejection of it,” I said, wishing I could simply let her go but knowing it wasn’t possible. “The option was then taken from you, and will not now be restored. You chose to give misery and pain and deceit when you could have given happiness and easing and honor; as you gave, so shall you get. ”
She screamed again when the misery and pain hit her, two things she had never really felt before. Wide-eyed and hysterical she fell to her knees, her mind screaming louder than her throat, and then she found that she hadn’t yet had the worst of it. I sent a hint of remorse and pity, leading her to believe I was going to relent, and then hit her even harder instead. Deceit always made the ultimate betrayal even worse for the victim, and she choked and foamed at the mouth before collapsing face down on the platform. Her mind was now clanging with shock, her shield long gone in uselessness, and that was when Deegor slowly mounted the steps of the platform to stand over her, a sword in the w’wenda’s hands. She looked down at Farian less with pity than with a sense of justice having been served, slowly raised the sword twohanded above her head, then brought it whistling down. I had just enough time to break my contact with Farian and throw up my shield before the sword found its target with a sickening “thwunk,” and then it was all over and I was left standing there and trembling, my duty done but my soul sick because of it.
“Terril, you have given us our victory!” Leelan said as she suddenly came up beside me, quickly putting an arm around my shoulders in the abrupt bedlam. She was absolutely euphoric at having won after all just when defeat had looked so certain, but she was also aware of how hard it had been for me, and not due to inadequate mental strength. It was true I was beginning to feel really tired, but she knew my problem had had nothing to do with that.
“All of Vediaster now owes you its thanks,” she said, her voice and eyes gentle as she looked down at me. “It was you alone who had the ability to free us, and this you did despite the pain it gave you. Naught save a true sense of honor could have seen the thing done, for we know you likely could have saved yourself alone. All shall honor the one who has so truly earned it.”
I looked up at her with a small frown, but what she’d said was entirely accurate. With Roodar dead there wasn’t anyone around who could have made me a slave again, and I’d known it even if the knowledge hadn’t been conscious. I could have gotten Tammad and myself out of there but hadn’t, finding it more necessary to stay and free everyone else as well. Thinking about Tammad caused me to begin to turn to look for him, but that was when Deegor made her way back to us.
“And now we have only to install the new Chama in her place,” she said, having noted with approval the way her w’wendaa were disarming and tying the guards who had served Farian. The knot of unarmed women to the right weren’t being bothered, and a good many of them seemed overjoyed.
“It has not occurred to me to wonder who has been chosen to be Chama in place of Farian,” I said, taking a deep breath in an effort to put it all behind me until I had the time for solitary consideration. “Surely Leelan has the greatest claim, for it was she whose mother was the rightful Chama. ”
“Leelan cannot be Chama,” Deegor said with an incredulous laugh, staring at me in a very odd way. “Our Chama must be possessed of the power, which we all know she is not. Also is there another matter, as fully a part of our laws as that. Surely you know . . . .”
“Deegor, you must allow me to explain,” Leelan said, interrupting, looking for all the world as though she’d been caught in a high-spirited prank that others might not consider very amusing. “Well might it be looked upon as dishonorable to have failed to speak of the matter more fully at an earlier time, yet did I hold no single thing back and indeed brought most of it to your attention, Terril. It was very much a matter of need, therefore did I . . . . ”
“Leelan, please,” I interrupted in turn, suffering almost as much from her discomfort as she was. “You need not go on in such a way, for our lives will not continue forever. As there is a thing you wish to tell me, you need do no more than speak of it.”
“Perhaps you are correct,” she said, glancing guiltily at a frowning Deegor, and then she squared her shoulders and plunged into it. “Terril, the laws of Vediaster demand that she who bests the current Chama, be made Chama in her place. It is a thing known to us all and expected.”
“A thing known to you all,” I echoed, briefly wondering why each shock I got had to be worse than the one before. “Known to you all, yet never quite mentioned to me. Now that all matters of battle are seen to, I am lightheartedly informed that I am the new Chama. A pity this was not mentioned earlier, for I have no desire to be Chama, nor shall I be. You must find another for the honor.”
“Terril, you cannot refuse,” Deegor said quickly, putting a restraining hand on my arm as she cast a look of daggers at a supposedly shamefaced Leelan. “You most certainly should have been told of this sooner, yet does the lack do naught to change matters. By law you are Chama, and Chama you must remain.”
“You have given so much to Vediaster,” Leelan added with a corner of her hidden satisfaction showing, her expression one of smooth urging. “Surely you will not refuse to allow Vediaster to give to you in return?”
“I will not be Chama,” I repeated with all the calm I could manage, looking up at each of them in turn. “This country is not mine, nor do I mean to remain in it. You must find another to be Chama.”
“We will discuss the matter,” Deegor said in a soothing way, her hand patting my shoulder, and then she had to turn away because of a sudden disturbance between some of the prisoners and their captors. Leelan glanced at me then hurried after the older w’wenda, not about to leave herself in a place where she might have to answer any awkward questions, and that left me technically alone. I knew I didn’t want to discuss anything with anybody—and then I turned to find Tammad’s eyes on me, from where he stood just a few feet away. Why he hadn’t come closer I had no idea, but rather than worry about it I went to him.
“Did you hear that nonsense?” I asked him softly in Centran, putting my arms around his body as he gently folded me in his own arms. “If they think I’m staying here to be Chama, they’re out of their minds. You’re the only thing I’m interested in, and you’re the one I’m staying with.”
“I may not have you,” he answered in an oddly calm voice, oddly calm because of what he was saying. “There are others who now need you more, and such a thing must be understood and accepted. Battles are meant to be fought and won. ”
“You battled with the desire to keep me, and that’s the battle you won?” I asked in shock, looking unbelievingly up into his expressionless face. “Just like that, it’s all over between us, and you have nothing more to say about it than that you understand and won’t argue? You never hesitated to give me away temporarily because of your sense of duty and honor; you can’t possibly mean you’re now going to do it permanently?”