I turned my eyes to the l’lenda where he sat not far from me, pretending not to see how devastated Leelan was, and found that the man was finally understanding why Leelan had until then refused his bands. Under other circumstances he probably would have told her immediately who he was, but something in the tenor of his thoughts hinted that he was remembering what Leelan had said and done while he was an involuntary slave.
“I have lived in Gerleth all my life, and know the Chamd well,” he said at last, also pretending not to see how upset Leelan was. “I am of the opinion that Rellis will find the alliance eminently acceptable, and the banding as well. This personage of Vediaster will be very fortunate . . . .”
Hearing Dallan himself seal her fate was just too much for Leelan, and she was up on her feet and running out of the room even before he’d finished. He watched her disappear with a definite pang of guilt over the way he’d gotten even, then rose himself and strode after her. Everyone else was silently upset at the goings on and the goings out, and once Dallan was out of sight and hearing Relgon decided to comment.
“For one of compassion, your first act as Chama was rather cruel,” she observed, looking at me with a bit less calm. “Surely you have no intentions of seeking any such alliance? Leelan would naturally bow to the need, yet would she then also need to put forever from her thoughts the one who has just followed her. Would you take what life they might have together, in an attempt to be revenged for the great harm she has done you?”
Relgon’s gesture meant more than just the room and what was in it, and it was accompanied by murmurs of agreement from the others. I looked slowly at each of them, and smiled a nasty smile.
“The alliance will be made exactly as I have said,” I informed them firmly and deliberately. “How well stands now your opinion of one who is a stranger? How easy will be your lives beneath the sway of such a one? And how easily will you find one of greater power to best her? Truly are you fools for what you have done.”
I stood up then and turned my back on them and their anger, strolling slowly toward the wall that was all windows. How pretty the golden sunshine was, coming in through golden curtains to turn gleaming everything it touched. I had no idea what was beyond those windows, and very little interest in finding out. If my new associates got angry enough life could become painful again, but that was a small price to pay for the freedom I needed. I had to leave Vediaster as quickly as possible, preferably without anyone rushing after me in concern, getting out of there before . . . . ”
“Terril.”
The single word and hand on my shoulder made me cringe involuntarily, but nothing came after that. The anger I had hoped for was conspicuous by its absence, and compassion stood in its place.
“Truly, girl, you have lived too long among those without the power,” Relgon said gently as she and Deegor each put an arm around my shoulders. “One who means others ill thinks the same, the venom of her envy or hatred or despising clearly there to be felt.”
“Also does such a one take care not to turn an unguarded back upon those with weapons,” Deegor added, like an echo with a separate soul. “Had your mind been set between us and you, we would have known that as well. No more was there within you than a great deal of unhappiness, so clear that we all were able to perceive it. Have we forced upon you so great and terrible a burden, then?”
“No, no, the position is merely unwelcome,” I quickly reassured their deep upset, inwardly sighing over having forgotten that they’d be able to tell how I felt. “I shall remain for a short while to assist you, yet during that time a new Chama must be found.”
“You are determined and will not be swayed,” Relgon said, looking down at me with partly narrowed eyes. “All these riches mean naught to you, and you yearn greatly for another place. You mean to return with your memabrak to his own country, then.”
“No, I shall not go with the one who was my memabrak,” I said, looking away from her penetrating gaze and back to the windows, feeling the pain despite my resolve not to. “There is a road of my own I must follow, and I am most eager to begin the journey.”
The arms of the two women tightened briefly around me then, trying to soothe the pain they could feel. They could tell I didn’t want to talk about it and respected my wishes, and for that I was very grateful.
“And, of course, there will be no alliance with Gerleth which Leelan must be committed to,” Deegor said after a minute, taking her arm away. “Although an alliance with so strong a country would be beneficial to us here, the price of it would be far too high.”
“The price of it will seem as though no cost at all,” I countered, bringing my gaze back to see the startlement on both of the twins. “I am rather fond of the younger prince of Gerleth, and that despite his penchant for constantly antagonizing me. His name, should you find it of any interest, is Dallan. ”
Seeing two identical faces gaping at you open-mouthed from left and right is the least bit unsettling, but then they and the others were laughing, as well as congratulating me on the way I’d gotten even with Leelan. Everyone had a grand old time, and then it turned out that they had a number of jobs that only I could do. Of course they were going to begin looking for a new Chama, most likely applying the law used when the Chama died of natural causes, but first there were these jobs . . . .
Hours and hours disappeared with the doing of those jobs, and finally I’d called a halt so that I could be alone for a while. There was no longer the sound of battle as I walked along the corridors, and I gratefully acknowledged that fact as I rubbed at my temples with the fingers of both hands. I wasn’t overtired and I didn’t have a headache, but I couldn’t ever remember working so hard with my mind. There had been quite a number of guard w’wendaa and members of Farian’s court whose loyalty no one had been able to determine for sure, and that had been one of my jobs. There were no more nulls, thank goodness, but even without them the time had been unpleasant, forcing woman after woman to feel and speak the truth. So many of them had been delighted with the former Chama and her intentions, and most of them, when caught in the lie of swearing allegiance to the victors over her, cursed me for what I had done. Being screamed at like that didn’t bother me, but the memory of what their minds had been like—
“Terril!” The call drew me out of my own thoughts, but was welcome. Dallan came up to me from one of the cross corridors, and smiled down at me with an expression I’d rarely seen before.
“I was told you walked alone to clear your mind of the thoughts of others,” he said, reaching out one big hand to smooth my hair. “Is my presence an intrusion?”
“Your presence, no,” I said, returning his smile. “It is female minds I must escape for a while, as the others were well aware. I had not known how pleasant it would be to state a need to those who are capable of doing as I do. I had only to give my assurance that I would defend myself should the need arise, and was then able to go off without even the presence of guards.”
“There should be little danger for you here in the palace,” he agreed, following along beside me as I began walking again. “I sought you out for I wished to thank you for the offer of an alliance between Gerleth and Vediaster. Although the formalities are yet to be completed, the incidental banding has already been done.”
“You told her then,” I said, smiling even more at the sense of blissful completion in his mind. As long as I’d known him there had been a sort of questing after something deep inside, and the feeling was no longer there. Leelan made Dallan whole, and he was very much aware of it.
“I did not speak as quickly as I had thought I would,” he answered, grinning at the memory. “When first I entered her apartment, meaning to ease her upset, she threw insults at me for having dared to support your betrayal. She had no wish to be mated with this prince of Gerleth, she said, telling me in such a way that she was the personage referred to, and then stated that I clearly had no true feelings for her, else I would speak against the alliance.