In a very short while, the prepared animal was placed on the spit over the fire by four of the women. It took four of them to lift the thing, but the spit was arranged to be turned by two, an opposing handle on each side of the rod. Bisah chose the youngest of the other five females to turn the handle on the far side, and unsurprisingly designated me for the near side.
“It will undoubtedly be difficult for you at first, Terril,” she said, “yet it is the sort of action which will draw the anger from you. Also, consider the ache which comes to your back and arms, and know it as the punishment given you by Tammad. When you at last find full approval in his eyes, you will no longer need to concern yourself with aches. You will again be his rella wenda, concerned only with pleasure.”
Her smile and nod of friendliness were genuine, but I had the sudden suspicion that she worked more in Tammad’s cause than in mine. As far as she knew I was nothing more than her denday’s rella wenda—the local equivalent of a fancy lady—but she felt no resentment over that arrangement. If Tammad wanted a rella wenda instead of a working wenda, he had earned the right to have one—or so his people believed. If I got away with having to do no more than keep his body satisfied, that was my good fortune and no more than a by-product. The important part was Tammad’s pleasure, and as long as that was assured, everything else was fine. I grabbed my handle and began turning it, surprising the girl on the other end, making sure nothing of my thoughts showed on my face where Bisah could see them. I wasn’t anyone’s fancy lady, least of all a barbarian’s, and nothing they could do to me would change that. I might be tired of living in the shadow of being a Prime, but I wasn’t about to exchange that for living in the shadow of a man.
Once Bisah was satisfied that the animal was being turned at the proper rate, she and the other four unoccupied women went about their business elsewhere. The young girl and I turned the spit and turned it, watching the animal rotate slowly over the fire—until I discovered it was getting harder and harder to turn the thing. My arms and shoulder and back were beginning to protest my efforts a lot sooner than I’d thought they would, and I began to wonder how long I was expected to keep that up. It would be quite a while before the animal was done, but I was sure to be done considerably sooner.
“Your face is dirty and you’re sweating,” a voice came suddenly from behind me, startling me, “but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look better. How long has it been, Terry?”
“Not long enough,” I answered, glancing over my shoulder at Len, who stood to my left and somewhat behind me. “And I didn’t know there was a law against having a dirty face. From the number of people who have mentioned it to me, I’m assuming the Peacemen have already been called. I’ll just have to plead ignorance.”
“The same old Terry,” Len said, stepping forward to where we could see each other without my having to turn my head. The jacket to his leisure suit was gone, leaving him in trousers and shirt with his shirtsleeves rolled part way up his forearms against the heat. His face was expressionless but his mind was angry, something he didn’t try to hide. “If I didn’t find such pleasure in looking at you, Terry, I would probably never come within sight of you again. You flaunt your untouchability and take advantage of it by hurting people and then walking away. The practice doesn’t make for a very pleasant personality.”
“You should talk!” I huffed, examining his tall, blond-haired and blue-eyed good looks with displeasure. “Was it me who tried to trap someone into completing an illegal real? Was I the one who took advantage of trust and friendship? Was I the one who . . . .”
“You were the one who refused to have me in any way but on my knees!” he snapped, interrupting my tirade with a strong flash of anger and resentment. “Did you expect me to crawl to you, begging your favor, the way the rest of them did? I wasn’t raised to that any more than you were, Terry, and if you wanted no part of me you had business saying so! Leading me on just to torture me was lousy—and no different from what I tried to do to you in return.”
“Why, I never led you on!” I sputtered, so filled with outrage at the accusation that I let go of the spit handle, forgetting about it until it hit my arm on the return arc. “I treated you no different from the way I treated the rest of the men I knew, and probably a bit better because of the bond we shared! You have no right saying I led you on!”
“You really believe “that.” He frowned, staring at me as his mind probed toward mine. I allowed the probe to go as deep as it was able, then thrust it from me when he’d seen I wasn’t trying to hide anything. He winced somewhat from the strength of my thrust, but his anger had cooled to a considerable degree.
“I believe it because it happens to be the truth,” I informed him, holding myself as straight as the spit-turning allowed. “Any belief you had to the contrary was your own doing, born of an overactive imagination. I have never asked a man to crawl to me for my favor, and I never will. All I ask is the same courtesy in return, an attitude some men find unreasonable.”
“But I don’t happen to be one of those,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t know what made me believe I was right about you, but it wouldn’t have happened if we were allowed to be awakened all the time. I’ll offer my apologies if you’re willing to accept them—or I’ll just walk away if you’re not. I wronged you and I’m sorry—and I’d like to make it up to you if I can.”
I stared at him as I turned the spit, seeing the sober expression he wore, feeling the truth of the words he’d uttered. Len and I had been the victims of a misunderstanding, and prolonging the argument would have accomplished nothing.
“On this world, there’s very little choice in places to walk to,” I said, glancing at him before returning my attention to the animal on the spit. “There’s no sense in holding grudges over past happenings, but you’ll forgive me if I fail to offer you renewed brotherly love. I find myself somewhat down on men these days.”
“I can feel that,” he said, the soberness of his tone tinged with curiosity rather than personal affront. “I was told I’d be taking your place here, but things didn’t work out that way. What was that business with challenges and owning all about?”
“It’s a long story,” I answered, deciding to use both hands on the spit to see if it helped. “Suffice it to say that your new employer still has hopes of having his very own Prime to see to his needs, both political and physical. The Prime in question doesn’t agree.”
“I see,” Len murmured, his thoughts suddenly blurred in the only way he could shield them. “I can’t say I blame him, but doesn’t he know he can’t get away with it? I’ve never seen Murdock McKenzie so furiously out of control; he’ll do something, and it won’t be a mere gesture.”
“Out of control or not, there’s a limit to what anyone can do,” I muttered, turning the spit harder as my anger grew. “They need Tammad to get what they want, and Tammad couldn’t be more aware of it. And if I were you, I’d try for a more effective shield or do something about my reactions. If you think I can’t tell you’d like to have me in the same position, you’re out of your mind. Men!”
The scorn in my voice didn’t half match what was in my mind, and Len didn’t miss either. His mental eyes considered my emotions calmly and from a distance for a moment, then a faint grin lit his handsome face.
“Terry, I really am sorry about the misunderstanding we had, but we’re now in the middle of a new misunderstanding that’s no one’s fault but yours. You’ve discovered that I’d like to have complete, undisputed possession of you and you blame me for it, but that’s only because you’re a woman. A man sees nothing wrong in wanting a desirable woman, and refrains from taking her only because of legal and social restrictions. If Tammad has found a way around those restrictions, more power to him. And the same to me.”