“No, I’ve never had a woman beg me,” Len said, “but I know the woman I’d like to start the practice with. And you’re close to being ready, aren’t you, Terry?”
“Don’t,” I whispered, trying to edge away closer to the upright I was tied to. Their eyes were terrible, and their minds wanted me. They both stared at me hungrily, their bodies aching and demanding, their thoughts overfilled with a scene they wanted to be a part of. “Don’t,” I repeated in the same whisper. “Please, you can’t.”
“I’ve never felt the pull this badly before,” Garth said, sliding away from Len along the ground and closer to me. “I find I’m having trouble keeping my hands off you, Terry. Why should that be?”
“It’s because there’s nothing to stop you,” Len said, answering the question for me as I trembled against the upright. “She’s sitting there tied to a post, her ankles chained together, on a planet where men make the choice. She can scream and cry and plead, but she can’t order you away from her and expect to be backed up by the laws of this society. She’s helpless and you know it.”
“Yes,” Garth breathed, raising his hand to the side of my imad, where it gaped open. His fingers and palm slid inside, decisively, touching my breast as he had never even touched my arm before. I whimpered and threw my head back, straining at the leather on my wrists, so close to projecting my frenzy that I was stiff with the effort of holding it in. Len touched my thigh and Garth touched my breast, and Tammad held another woman in his arms, a woman who kissed him and writhed against him, offering everything she could give, begging him to take it. He touched her deep and laughed at the way she cried, then ordered her to pleasure his body. The weeping woman hurried to obey, desperate to please him to the point of using her. She knew he was going to use her, knew it without doubt, but didn’t know how long it would be before he decided he’d toyed with her enough. I could see the decision in his mind, the decision that he would use her, the curiosity over how good she would be, and nearly screamed out loud. She had no right being there, just as Len and Garth had no right being near me!
“Get away from me!” I spat at the two men touching me, startling part of the rut out of their minds. “I’m not helpless, and you have no damned right touching me! I don’t belong on this world and neither do you, and I won’t be treated as if I do belong here! Get away from me, do you hear, get away from me!”
My tirade reached to them the way begging wouldn’t have, shadowing their minds and making them draw back. They sat and stared wordlessly at me for a moment, the same bitterness in some strange way filling both of them, and then Len rose to his feet.
“I still can’t escape the conditioning,” he muttered, running a weary hand through his blond hair. “But neither can you, friend. What say we take a walk together and see if there are any spare body parts to be found around here. I think we’re both missing a couple.”
“At one time I would have disagreed with that comment,” Garth sighed, also rising to his feet. “Right now I can see it would be a waste of breath. Let’s go that way.”
They rounded the side of the camtah and walked away from the glowing red ball of the setting sun, heading toward the already deepening shadows. I wanted to call them back and demand that they untie me, but I could see from their minds that they would not come back under any circumstances. They felt ashamed and self-betrayed, just as though they hadn’t done the right thing by leaving me alone. I heard a sobbing scream come from Tammad’s pavilion at the same moment I felt it, knowing that Gay had been foolish enough to try demanding release from Tammad. As punishment he bad started her all over again from the posing, and the scream had come the first time he’d touched her. I knew if I tried to stand any more of that I’d go insane, as every minute that passed made it worse. Slowly, fearfully, I let the shield in my mind shut them out, then rested my head against the upright below my wrists and closed my eyes. I was very much afraid to be behind that shield, but I was too tired to struggle any longer with Tammad and his play time. I hated that beast, hated him with good reason; sitting behind my shield, very much afraid, I began listing all my good reasons.
I awoke with a start, realizing I had fallen asleep, wondering how it was possible to fall asleep in such an uncomfortable position. My back and neck ached more than they had earlier, and I stirred in discomfort, only then realizing how numb my wrists had grown. The entire situation was outrageous, but what else might one expect on that planet?
“Your awakening is precisely on time,” Tammad’s voice came, and I jumped to realize how close he was. He stood over me in what had become full darkness, partially illuminated by a nearby campfire. Only part of his expression was visible, but seeing that part made me wonder why I hadn’t noticed his approach. The barbarian was controlling his anger with a great deal of difficulty, something rare for him, and then I remembered about the shield. I wasn’t sure I really ought to drop it, and once it was gone I regretted its loss. Fury and frustration blazed from him so strongly I winced, something he noticed when he crouched in front of me.
“Why are you so angry?” I asked, drawing back as much as I could. “And why do I have to be awake?”
“The bulk of my anger is not your concern,” he answered, making no effort to control himself. “A part of it, however, is very much your concern. Why was it necessary for you to be tied so?”
“Since it was Loddar’s idea, why don’t you ask him?” I came back, but faintly. I couldn’t see where what I had done had been so wrong, but I didn’t want that entire mass of anger aimed at me.
“I have already done so,” he said, keeping those eyes directly on me. “I would now hear how you view the matter.”
“I don’t see how there can be more than one way of viewing it,” I sniffed, raising my chin higher. “I told Loddar I didn’t care to spend my time in this particular location, but he couldn’t have cared less. It wouldn’t have done him any harm to let me go elsewhere, but he couldn’t be bothered with the wishes of a mere wenda. I’ve come to expect nothing else from l’lendaa.”
“I see.” He nodded, continuing to stare at me. “Loddar failed to grant you your whim, therefore was he at fault.”
“Hardly a whim,” I corrected sharply, though why I wasted good insult is a mystery. “I believe I’ve told you before that I don’t enjoy being part of an orgy, even a part no one realizes is there. This camtah is much too close to your pavilion—or hadn’t you understood that?”
“The thought occurred to me when first I left my camtah,” he said, a strange tightening touching his mind. “Had I not stopped here to find you asleep, surely would I have thought—”
“Thought what?” I asked, frowning at him. His feelings had changed focus again, but they were so muddied and mixed that I couldn’t separate them.
“The matter need not be discussed,” he said, closing the subject. “We need discuss only one thing, which is the matter of your behavior. Should I ever again find you bound due to lack of obedience, there will be immediate punishment for you—no matter the reason for the disobedience. I will have food sent to you, and you are to finish all you are given.”
Abruptly he stood straight again, and then he was gone, striding off into the darkness, taking his anger and touchy temper farther away than right under my mental nose. I started to protest that he hadn’t untied me, but he was out of sight—and hailing range—before I could put the thought into words. I pulled at the leather again in frustration, hurting my wrists in the process, but the gesture was as futile as the cursing I did under my breath.