Dark had fallen and my body and hair were completely dry by the time the food was ready to be carried to the hizah tent. There were considerably more dishes prepared than usual, but that only confirmed the suspicion I’d had that something unusual was going on. Dressed in a clean robe and wearing sandals, I moved carefully through the sand with” the other bedinn, carrying a large wooden bowl of grilled meat strips, thinking again about the possibilities of escape. I wasn’t sure how long the tribe would be staying at the oasis, so I couldn’t afford to wait too long. Leaving at night would be best, but the Hamarda hizahh tended to be awake and about during the night hours. Leaving during the day meant risking running into finale bedinn who were always up and about, and also meant dying of thirst sooner if water couldn’t be found quickly enough. Leaving alone would attract the least amount of attention, but would it be right to desert the women I’d been captured with? And whoever I took whenever I left, how much water and food would be necessary to keep us alive until we reached the mountains? And last but certainly not least, what was the likelihood of being pursued? As I followed the now-familiar route through the white silk hangings of the hizah tent, I tried to decide how important bedinn were to these men. Would they let one disappear without caring where she went? If so, would the same be true of six? If they did pursue us, how long would they keep at it before they gave up? Worrying about whether they ever would give up kept me from noticing how slowly the women ahead of me were moving, and saved the surprise for when I stepped through the last of the hangings and looked up. Sitting there beside Kednin, an honored guest, without a worry in the world, was Tammad.
12
If I didn’t drop the bowl of meat slices, it was only because I don’t believe in the unreal. My mind told me it was impossible for Tammad to be sitting in that tent, Kednin to his left, Len to his right, Garth to Len’s right, Hannas and Loddar and four other of his l’lendaa ranged elsewhere around the tent, and I believed that. The only problem was, I could sense the deep calm in Tammad’s mind, tinged with the same amusement touching Len and Garth, could feel the heart-thumping excitement in Findra and the other four women, the longing to run to their men’s arms. The only thing holding them back seemed to be fear, most likely stemming from the way the hizahh outnumbered the l’lendaa. If the women acknowledged their men, the hizahh might be provoked into defending their property in the most direct manner—which meant swords. Rather than start a fight, the women just stood there quivering; I just stood and stared.
“These are the bedinn who will serve us,” Kednin said to Tammad, waving a negligent hand in our direction. “Examine them as you will, honored guests, and choose for your own those who offend you the least. My tent holds naught which will not be bettered by your use.”
“It is we who are honored by our host,” Tammad said, his voice warm and brotherly, his eyes moving over the line of bedinn. “We have traveled far and in too great a haste, and have need of relaxation such as this.”
“Your needs will be well seen to in this tent,” Kednin answered, a matching warmth in his voice. “For this you have my word. Bedinn: put aside your burdens and present yourselves to your hizah’s guests.”
The bedinn among us immediately began putting down their bowls and platters and. reaching to their robes to remove them, even Findra and the others quickly moving to obey; only I stood as if frozen, still staring at Tammad and the others. Put the bowl aside, remove the robe, kneel and bow? How could I?
“Have you lost your hearing, bedin?” Kednin snapped, gazing at me searingly from behind his veil, his mind beginning to be touched by a monstrous shame. “Do you dare to disobey me before my guests?”
I nearly dropped the bowl in my rush to obey, my heart beating wildly from the shadow of murderous rage waiting to settle over Kednin’s mind. He would have killed me then and there if I’d continued to ignore him, but even so removing the robe was difficult. The eyes of Len and Garth immediately began moving over me, examining me boldly as I knelt, with distant amusement as I bowed. They enjoyed seeing me like that, helpless before them, and Tammad’s mind was hardly different. Pleasure touched him as closely as he allowed it to, pleasure most likely brought about by seeing me humbled so.
“The choice is yours,” Kednin said, and I could feel the sweeping gesture he made with his arm. “Which ones will you have?”
“They are all veiled,” Len observed, his voice easy and confident. “How is a man to know which is most beautiful when he cannot see their faces?”
“Of what use is beauty in a bedin’s face?” Kednin asked, bringing forth a silent chuckle in Tammad. “One may do no more than gaze upon a face. As for other services, you will find the veil no hindrance to their performance. Bedinn: raise yourselves so that my guests may see you more easily.”
I came up out of the bow slowly, keeping my eyes down on the white silk floor, the blaze of shame burning brighter within me than it had the first time I’d been knelt so. Those weren’t strangers sitting there so comfortably, those were men I knew—or thought I knew. The very real comfort they felt was beginning to make me have second thoughts.
“The one with the short hair and dark eyes strikes my fancy,” Hannas said in a thoughtful drawl from where he sat. “With my host’s permission?”
“Certainly,” Kednin said the warmth back in his tone. “Go to him, bedin, and see that you please him.”
After being elbowed by the woman next to her, Findra’s heart rose when her body did, and she lost no time getting to Hannas. Tammad’s other men were choosing the last four women, and Loddar happily made do with one of the other bedinn. I still hadn’t looked up, but I don’t need sight to know when four pairs of eyes rest on me.
“You find this one of interest?” Kednin asked, his voice now skeptical. “I, too, found her of interest at first, but now regard her solely as a curiosity. It has been necessary to punish her often.”
“Somehow, I find that unsurprising,” Tammad said, his voice dry but his mind unamused. He didn’t like hearing that I’d been disobedient, and I could feel my head lowering even farther. “I do, however, continue to also find interest in her. I have never been fully served by a dark-haired, green-eyed wenda.”
“As you wish,” Kednin said casually. He had missed the way Tammad had stressed the word “fully” but I hadn’t. “And the others beside you? Which bedinn will they have?”
A silence intervened at that point, during which I could feel an exchange going on between Tammad and Len and Garth. Len and Garth asked with their silence, their minds no more than politely requesting a casual favor they would enjoy having, Tammad’s mind understanding what they were asking and considering it. His hesitation was only seconds in duration, then he spoke again to Kednin.
“My two brothers will share the service of this—bedin,” he said, his voice showing nothing of the hesitation he had felt. “As you say she is disobedient, the punishment of such additional service will be most fitting.”
“As is all punishment for disobedient bedinn.” Kednin chuckled as I raised my eyes quickly in outrage and dismay. My gaze was immediately captured by Tammad’s light blue stare, the expression therein telling me the punishment came from himself alone. No matter what anyone else did to me, it was his punishment I was to expect if I deviated from his concept of the proper. He had once warned me about insolence and the need for obedience, and he wasn’t in the habit of repeating warnings.