“Please don’t,” I begged in a whisper, pushing feebly and uselessly at his hand on my arm with my free hand. His grip wasn’t hurting me, he hadn’t even raised his voice, and those two facts together had me more desperate than almost anything else. “Please don’t punish me, please!” I begged. “I know I did wrong, more wrong than I can say, but I won’t do it again, I swear I won’t! I swear it!”
“I am well aware of that fact, wenda,” he said, turning toward the door as he pulled me along. “We will begin by having you cut and trim the switch to be used on you, and then, after the switching, there will be other things for you to do. Your punishment will consume much time in the giving, even more in the receiving.”
“No!” I choked, wild at the thought of those other beatings he had given me, ones where he hadn’t been nearly as angry as he was right then. In other frightening situations I had struck out with my mind, but just then such a reaction was impossible. I felt paralyzed in the very center of me where my talent lay, frozen and half dead and totally incapable. I couldn’t have struck at him even if my life had literally depended on it, or, even more importantly, my sanity.
“Wait, wait just a minute!” I babbled, suddenly realizing it was time to admit I had lost. “What I’ve said to you till now—I’ve changed my mind! I’ll do anything you want me to do—anything!”
He stopped that inexorable progress toward the door, and though he still held my arm, I could have fainted from relief. I’d have to work for him now, reading people and helping him influence them, but that was better than—I shuddered to think of it. He turned his face toward me, and it wore a faintly surprised expression.
“This is truly unexpected, wenda, this decision you have made,” he said, looking down at me. “I had not thought to see you moved from the stand you had taken. And yet; it occurs to me that I may not accept such a decision from you, for it would seem that you were coerced from your sworn word, which is a dishonorable act. I would not care to be thought of as dishonorable. ”
“No, no, coercion has nothing to do with it!” I assured him quickly, desperate to keep him from turning toward the door again. “The decision was freely made, based on an estimation of what was due you after my invasion of your privacy. It’s the least I can do.”
I looked up at him anxiously, wishing I had the nerve to peek at his mind, totally unable to tell what he was thinking from the expressionlessness he had slipped back into. He thought about what I’d said for a minute, then nodded his head.
“Very well,” he said. “As the decision was freely made, I shall accept it. You will now do exactly as I wish.”
“That’s right,” I agreed, relieved that the bargain was accepted and completed. “I know your plans for unifying your people call for the assistance of an empath, and now you’ve finally got one where you want her. So where shall I begin? With Cinnan and Aesnil? It won’t be easy, but I’m sure I can do it. Cinnan already feels brotherly toward you—so—”
My words trailed off and died, due entirely to the fact that he was slowly shaking his head. I couldn’t understand what he was disagreeing with, unless I had his objectives in the wrong order.
“I hope you don’t mean you want to return to the Hamarda first,” knowing my expression showed the distaste I was feeling. “Being there with you won’t be the same as being there alone with them, but I don’t know how well I can handle my own emotions in the middle of . . . .”
“Wenda, I have no knowledge of what you speak,” he interrupted, his voice and eyes oddly free of confusion. “The need I have for one the power is no longer a need, for Lenham sees to it. You have denied me the use of your power, greatly disturbed over the matter, therefore I do honor your denial. I shall not again set such tasks to your hand.”
“But—then—what have we been talking about?” I asked, honestly puzzled and definitely uneasy. “Aside from my abilities, what else is there?”
“Such a question seems foolish to one who is able to look upon you,” he answered, letting his eyes move over me in that intrusive, possessive way he had. “You will do exactly as I wish—in all things.”
“But—that wasn’t what I meant!” I protested in shock, unconsciously trying to take a step back from him as my eyes widened. Somehow I’d managed to forget that he was still holding my arm; stepping back didn’t take me very far.
“It matters little what thing was in your mind, wenda.” He shrugged, holding me easily less than an arm’s length from him. “It was in all things that you pledged yourself in obedience, therefore is the choice of area mine Should you wish to attempt the reclaiming of your word, we may discuss the matter after the first of your punishment is done.”
“No!” I said immediately, then calmed somewhat when I saw he wasn’t beginning to move toward the door again. “No, a discussion later won’t be necessary. We made a bargain and I’ll hold to it.”
“Excellent,” he commented in distant approval, finally letting go of my arm. I reached over and rubbed at the place even though I didn’t have to, reflecting that I had been extremely fortunate. After all, what could he ask me to do that I hadn’t already done in the past?
“It pleases me, wenda, that there is to be no delay in the eager service I am to receive from you,” he said, folding his arms as he looked down at me. “There has been little from you in the way of eagerness of late, not to speak of service. The difficulty you insisted upon would not have been permitted much longer in any event; seeing to it now merely ends an unpleasant episode sooner than expected.”
I parted my lips to argue his distorted version of recent happenings, prepared to bitterly defend my position, but his right hand snapped up, silencing me with surprise.
“No words!” he growled, his distant approval and satisfaction long gone. “I have had too many words from you of late, all of which have done no more than convince you you might disobey me with impunity! You may not speak again till you have my permission to do so!”
I closed my mouth again with a snap, angry that he would dare speak to me that way, but determined to see the thing through. Silence he wanted, and silence he would get.
“Better,” he grudged with a slow nod, refolding his arms. “You now pout as would a berated child, yet is it done in silence. Let us continue further to the point of eagerness and service. ”
He stepped closer then and put his arms around me, but not to hold me. His hands tugged the gown sleeves off my shoulders, urged the whole thing down to my waist, then let it go to fall to the floor around my feet. My first reaction had been to consider holding onto the gown and not letting it be taken, but that would have been foolish. It was hardly the first time the barbarian had stripped me naked, and I could still think of no way in which he might be stopped. After a first, abortive movement I merely stood there, telling myself the action meant nothing, but still feeling the discomfort of embarrassment in my cheeks.
“Considerably more acceptable,” he said, stepping back to look at me again. “The sight of a woman in his bands gives a man great pleasure. Step entirely out of the garment and give it to me.”
I frowned as I reached down and picked up the gown, not understanding why my doing such a silly thing was beginning to give him such intense pleasure that it crowded at my mind. I had the gown taken from my hand, watched him walk to the window with it, then watched him toss it out. The gown had a long way to fall before it hit the ground, but it didn’t take nearly that long before I understood what was happening. I had dressed myself in that gown that morning, a gown that had been given to me by Aesnil. It had now been permanently taken away from me, and whatever clothing I had in the future would undoubtedly be given me by Tammad. The gesture made me feel more stripped naked and dependent than I had in a long while, and when the barbarian turned back from the window, he must have seen it in my expression. He smiled faintly, satisfaction joining pleasure, then went to the pile of cushions and sat himself among them, next to a small wooden table holding a tray.