“No one possessed of sanity and sense would envy me my powers,” I came back, looking around for a place to put the bowl she had given me. “There is little pleasure in being sought for no more than their use.”
“Do not put your food aside!” she said sharply, taking the bowl back before I could get rid of it. Your strength will not return without it and your strength will be necessary if we are to escape from here!”
“Escape?” I echoed, staring at her with the frustration of not being able to read her. “Have you gone insane after all’? How would it be possible to escape, and to where would we run? Are we to float through these walls? And what of your position here? You cannot be Chama if you are no longer present.”
“I no longer am Chama!” she spat, squeezing the bowl between her hands as her lovely face twisted with grief. “I have publicly renounced the position, and will not take it up again no matter the doings of Cinnan! He believes I may be forced to his will, yet his beliefs will prove to be mistaken! One who has been a Chama will never be a slave!”
She looked down at the bowl in her hands, seemingly ready to throw it violently away from her, but then she realized what she was about to do. I could almost see her grabbing her fury and forcing it back down, establishing control over it before stepping closer and sitting down on the bed furs next to me. Her movements were still jerky as she took the small scoop out of the bowl, scraped off the excess cereal grain against the side of the bowl, then stabbed at my face with the scoop. I was so startled I opened my mouth, and found myself being fed the cereal grain I hadn’t really wanted.
“The man is insufferable,” she muttered, barely giving me a chance to swallow before stabbing at me with the scoop again. “He beats me and uses my body as though I were a slave, then demands that I behave as a Chama! When I refused to continue with the farce and informed the dendayy of my decision, he dared to give me as host-gift to the beast who holds you! I refuse to allow this state of affairs to continue, therefore shall we escape together. ”
“You still have not told my how we are to escape from this place,” I said as fast as I could before the next scoopful came at me.
“This fortress was built by my family,” she answered, grim satisfaction accompanying the sharp, angry movements of her hand. “For one of the blood, there is more than a single exit from it. We will await the end of the storms, and then we will depart. Do you fear to go with me?”
She stopped feeding me for the moment, but I still hesitated before answering her. I wanted very much to be away from that place, but—all alone on Rimilia, with no one but another woman like myself? Where would we go? Would I live to see my embassy again? What would we do if we were captured by strangers, men who decided they wanted us? Did I have the nerve to face Rimilia on my own?
“I do fear to accompany you,” I said at last, feeling more of the throbbing headache that had diminished so much from the day before. “You find yourself filled with the same anger which fills me, and yet—I fear the world beyond these walls and you do not. That I have even greater fear of the doings within these walls is happenstance. I do fear to accompany you, yet I shall do SO.”
“Ah, Terril, it seems it is best that I shall no longer be Chama,” she sighed, putting her hand on my arm. “Your lot must truly be worse than mine due to aid you gave me, yet I spent not a single moment in thought concerning what was to become of you. I must see to it that your reluctance to remain grows much greater than your reluctance to depart. In such a way will departure please the both of us.”
She reached forward to hug me briefly, smiled in a sympathetic way as she got to her feet, then returned the bowl to the tray and left the room. I stared after her, wondering what she could possibly have been talking about, then shrugged to myself to dismiss the question. Aesnil always had been somewhat on the strange side, and it wasn’t likely that she’d change. What she’d said meant nothing at all, and I would be foolish if I wasted time thinking about it.
Or so I idiotically believed, until the door opened again to reveal Tammad. I could see the anger in his eyes even in the torchlight, especially when he came closer to look down at me. He informed me coldly that the Chama Aesnil had told him that I was much better, but had refused all her attempts to make me eat something. She also said she intended arguing with me, but had suddenly found herself perfectly willing to drop the subject and leave. She didn’t understand why that had happened, but the barbarian did—and was furious about it. I was so shocked I couldn’t say a word, and then I was beyond shock and stumbling into panic. I babbled and tried to back away as the barbarian’s hands began to unbuckle his swordbelt, but there was nowhere to go and he wasn’t interested in listening to anything I had to say. He caught me easily before I could run and then beat me with the swordbelt, ignoring my screams that Aesnil was lying just as he ignored my begging that he stop. He punished me hard for something I hadn’t done, then forced almost everything on the tray down my throat. When he left his anger hadn’t diminished much, but mine was already growing.
I’d never been angry after being punished before, and the anger had a strange effect on the pain the barbarian had given me. I squirmed around belly down on the furs I’d been left on, feeling the flaming ache in my body and hating the barbarian more with every throb. He’d had no right doing that to me, not after I’d told him Aesnil was lying. He just didn’t care whether or not it was the truth, not if it meant he had to pass on strapping me. He enjoyed beating me, I knew he did, and I hated him more with every passing minute. Once I was gone he’d have to find someone else to beat, and I hoped he would choose someone who had more courage than I. It would serve him right if the woman he chose stole his dagger and plunged it into his body in revenge, ending his pleasure and his life together. I put my head down to the fur as the tears ran down my cheeks, knowing it would serve him right.
I was left alone in that cell of a room for hours, long enough to brood to my heart’s content. When the door finally opened and the same slave female came in with another tray, I ignored her and looked for Aesnil. The Charm stepped into the room in the same quiet way she had that morning, waited until the slave had left with the emptied first tray, then closed the door firmly and smiled.
“I am pleased to see that you ate well earlier,” she said as she approached me, her eyes moving over what she could see of me. “Your strength will now be sure to return, and as quickly as we require it.”
“Perhaps even more quickly than that,” I growled, beginning to turn under the fur. I fully intended getting up to thank her properly for what she had done, but I discovered immediately that I still hurt too much to move as easily as I wanted to. I swallowed a gasp against the stiffened protest of my body, then slumped back in defeat. On that world, I couldn’t even get my own back from a woman like myself.
“How badly were you beaten?” Aesnil demanded, stepping closer with her eyes narrowed. “What sort of man would give you such hurt merely for failing to take sustenance?”
“I was not beaten for failing to take sustenance,” I told her, closing my eyes against her ridiculous outrage. “I was beaten for attempting to control you, a doing which was absolutely forbidden me. Please accept my thanks for increasing my reluctance to remain here.”
“I—was unaware of this,” she stumbled, her voice sounding guilty and filled with confusion. “I merely sought a reason as to why I, myself, failed to command you to your food. Are you in great pain?”
“Certainly not,” I answered, keeping my eyes closed. “I remain unmoving solely through lack of interest in motion. You will, of course, forgive me for not rising in your presence.”
“Terril, you must believe that I did not know he would beat you in such a way,” she whispered, coming close to take my arm in both of her hands. “When he forced me to his use he seemed so gentle, so different from Cinnan. Though I fought him he gave me no pain, and even attempted to bring a smile to my lips. I thought he would do no more than punish you lightly, if at all, and be certain that you ate as I wished you to. I will seek him out and speak the truth to him, no matter that Cinnan will then give me what you were given. I will not have you suffer innocently for a doing that was mine, not even though I am no longer Chama. Once I was Chama, and I will never forget.”