The thought of a bath should have made me feel considerably better, but as I was forced to sit up and follow Kel-Ten by the strand of hair he still held, all I felt was that useless anger rising again. The man wanted his pet bathed so his pet would be bathed, and no one in that entire complex would stop to wonder what the pet wanted. I kept getting the idea I’d been through something like that before, that what I wanted hadn’t even been considered by the people around me. The hatred and bitterness and frustration were all so familiar, as though I’d lived with them for quite a long time, and Kel-Ten seemed to suit it all especially well. Big and blond and blue-eyed felt terribly right, a figure that brought pain, a sight to stir that hatred and bitterness and frustration. I’d felt odd the first time I’d looked at him, but now I was beginning to know what the oddness had meant.
I was taken to the overdone gold bathroom, made to stand quietly while my bath was dialed, then was ordered into the water. Kel-Ten sat himself in the dry-chair with an “Ahh” of appreciation for the cooler air, but his grinning stare never left me. He knew I hated what was being done to me, and that seemed to make it all the better for him. The water was perfumed again, and when I leaned back into the headrest to let my hair be washed, so was the shampoo. I wasted no time soaking and trying to enjoy something absolutely devoid of enjoyment, and when I stepped out to wrap the towel around me, KelTen gestured me to him.
“Now you can come over here and let Kel-Ten enjoy how clean you are,” he said, patting his still-naked lap. “You’ll be needing him again later, and if you aren’t a good little sweet thing you won’t be getting him as fast as you did this time.”
As fast as I did that time. It was all I could do to keep my lip from curling as I walked over to him, and his grin said he knew what I was prudently refraining from showing or commenting on. He pulled me onto his lap and settled me the way he had the first time, and then his arms were around me as he sniffed appreciatively.
“Wildflowers,” he said with a good deal of enjoyment. “I love the smell of wildflowers.” He moved his face to the side of my neck, as though getting closer to enjoy the perfume more, but instead said very softly, “Why did they give you that heavy a shot? Did they tell you anything more than they told me? Try to conceal the movement of your lips when you answer me.”
“They said it was because of the way I acted with Ank-Soh,” I answered after pretending I was burying my face his chest, partially startled by having forgotten that that chair was where we supposedly could speak freely. “They knew he hadn’t minded, but they didn’t feel the same way about it. If I make sure I don’t refuse to be touched again, they’ll be gracious and not do that to me again. But why are we hiding the movement of our lips? I thought it was safe to talk here.”
“Soundwise, I’m sure it is safe,” he replied, moving his face around in my headrest-dried hair. “If they knew what we were discussing last night you’d be back in low having your personality Xed out, and I’d be-having problems of my own. Since I don’t know whether we’re being watched as well as listened to, I decided not to give them any more distorted conversations to wonder about. Everything is going much too well for me to chance ruining it now.”
I let my face rest against his chest just in case he was right about our being watched, but this time said nothing because there was nothing I cared to say. He picked up on my silence faster than I’d expected him to do, and his right hand reached across to move the towel off my left shoulder.
“It may not seem like it to you, but things are going unbelievably well,” he murmured, rubbing the top of my arm gently with his palm. “Not only did they give you to me without any of the argument I was expecting, they made it even better by coming up with a reason for me to keep you longer than I thought I could. I’ve decided not to waste any part of the opportunity, so tomorrow morning I’m going to awaken you.”
“Tomorrow morning,” I breathed, feeling a jolt of excitement coursing through me, almost forgetting to bury the words against him. “But why not today, right now, this very minute?”
“Not before you’ve visited my afternoon training classes, he demurred, his hand sliding down my back under the towel. “I have to get everyone used to seeing you, and knowing they can’t reach through to you. You’ll have to make sure you stand well back out of everyone’s range, as though you’re afraid they’ll hurt you, and that way no one will be able to tell you’re awake when you are awake. While you’re pretending to be frightened you’ll be paying very close attention to the exercises and instructions, getting yourself taught without my having to take the chance of doing it. Afterward I’ll help you practice, and I’d like to see them detect that. ”
I only just kept myself from making a sound of amusement, knowing as well as he that no one had equipment capable of detecting the use of emotions. Our escape was about to start, would be starting the very next day, and after that it would only be a matter of- A matter of allowing myself to be-to be- The elation drained out of me as I became very aware of the hand moving on my body, a hand that touched me as though I belonged to its owner. And I would belong to its owner, more completely than I’d ever belonged to anyone, and he knew that, and had begun heating me up again to prove it . . . .
“Don’t worry, sweet thing, by the time it happens you won’t even notice,” he murmured, obviously knowing where my thoughts had gone. “In a little while you’ll understand that it’ll be my baby in your pretty belly, and you’ll be as hot at the idea as I am. I want to do you, girl, more than I ever wanted to do any other female, and I mean to see you wanting it just as much. Use that squirming to shift around to face me, and then give your Kel-Ten a big kiss. If they’re watching, we’re about to give them something interesting to look at.”
He held my towel while I did as he’d told me to, miserable but having no choice about listening to him. I could almost hear the bubbling in my blood starting up again, and had no illusions about what it would be like for me if I tried refusing. He let the towel fall on his knees behind me as I raised my face to him, and once our lips met his hand made sure we met in another way as well. I moaned deep in my throat and hated myself for it, feeling that it was somehow my fault I couldn’t stop what that drug was making me do and feel. It had me so tight that when Kel-Ten didn’t shift closer to me, I whimpered and went to him. He chuckled and used his thumb to encourage me in my efforts even more, but just before I lost myself to wildness I was able to whisper deep inside, “Tomorrow morning . . . tomorrow morning . . . tomorrow morning . . . ”
7
But tomorrow morning was still a long way off. When Kel-Ten was through with me he laughingly ordered me to the thick, soft carpeting on the floor, belly down while he showered off the sweat of his most recent exertions. He left me there while he went to throw our clothing into the wall cleaner in the bedroom, already having refused me another bath even before I’d asked. He seemed to be trying to get me used to the idea of having his spending inside me with no opportunity to rid myself of it, the way it would be when my protection finally wore off. I spent my time on the floor trying to pull handfuls of silky carpeting loose, my thoughts too black even for me to dwell on.
Once we were back into our newly-cleaned clothing, we left the apartment again. For some reason the sight of all that gold was beginning to bother me even more than it had when I’d first seen it, as though I’d once seen something similar and hadn’t enjoyed the occasion. Rather than wasting time trying to pin down memories made purposely and permanently elusive, I simply accepted the annoyance and dislike I felt and followed Kel-Ten back down to the area where his classes were to be held. Paying attention to something important would rid me of useless, extraneous feelings like the ones clashing around inside me, and the classes were definitely categorized as important.