Irin’s mind soothed mine as well, and before I knew it I fell asleep. When I woke again it was full dark, Irin was lighting one of the candles on the wall in my room, and I actually felt rested enough to get up and start doing things. The pouches with my clothes had been brought to the room, so the first thing I did was strip, wash in the room’s basin, then dress again in clothes that hadn’t been slept in. What was left of the marks on my back bothered Irin, but not so much that she wasted a lot of time making furious and disapproving noises. The evening meal was ready and waiting for us, and disapproval could be voiced at another time.
Food wasn’t the only thing waiting for us, something I found out as soon as we entered the paneled, pillowed, and carpet-furred room. Trays held pitchers of drishnak and a lighter wine, and various dishes were all ready to begin making the rounds as soon as Irin and I could get started. The others they were going to be making the rounds among were Rissim and his sons, some of whom had women of their own. It was then that I learned I had eight brothers, the oldest of whom was less than a year younger than me. Helliar was a varinda, as his name showed, and his hug of greeting was a signal for a general rush from everyone else. After that it was impossible separating one from the other even though some were dark-haired like me and Irin, and some were blond like Rissim. All of them were big, without doubt l’lenda size, and all of them were delightfully crazy-as denizens of a happy dream should be.
By the time the meal was over, there were a lot of plates which had been emptied during unending conversation and laughter. Helliar’s woman Keffa had asked me where I’d gotten the beautiful rose and pale gold outfit I had on, and that meant I’d had to tell them I was Chama of Vediaster. The revelation brought out delight and curiosity alike, and before I knew it I was telling the story of how I’d become something I’d never wanted to be. Just about every mind there was Prime quality or very close to it, so my story spread out into a general discussion of mind strength which continued until Rissim finished the last of his drishnak, then rose to his feet.
“I dislike the need for interrupting so pleasant a time, yet have I just been informed of the arrival of those who asked if they might speak with Terril,” he said, looking at all of us fondly. “Those who plan our attack against the enemy are eager to learn what they might of the inner defenses of the places we must enter. Should you be too wearied to speak with them, child, they may be asked to return at another time.”
“No, it’s all right, I don’t mind talking to them,” I said, sharing the general air of disappointment that our get-acquainted conversation had to end, but also sharing the eagerness in the minds around me to face our enemy. Once they were defeated the valley could stop being a secret, empaths could stop living half lives—and no more of us would be in danger of being kidnapped and bred like farm animals. I wanted to get to the end of planning and the beginning of attacking, and every one of my newfound family agreed with me.
Before going with Rissim I said good night to my two youngest brothers, who were about to leave for their room. In the midst of all the confusion of meeting so many new people I wasn’t sure how old they were, but the elder of the two was already as tall as I and the younger almost the same, even though neither of them were young men yet. They were only boys, mere children, but their minds were bright and warm and loving, fiercely glad to welcome me to the family and fiercely determined to see to my future protection. They gave me careful good-night hugs to be certain they didn’t hurt me with their already considerable strength, then calmly took themselves off to bed after kissing their parents, quietly discussing their hopes that the attack would wait a little while longer so they would be old enough to join in. They both wore haddinn and sword belts like their father and brothers, and although their swords weren’t full l’lenda size, they were already good with the weapons.
I was so wrapped up in deep, pleasant thoughts that I followed Rissim through the house without paying much attention to where we were going. I’d never known anything could be as good as that meal Iii just been a part of, the full and complete sharing of people who were just like me, knew me for what I was, and still very much wanted me to be one of them. I wondered briefly what it would have been like actually growing up in that atmosphere of love and caring and sharing, and suddenly felt very cheated. I hadn’t been allowed to stay with my own, had been forced instead to spend my time among cold, crippled strangers, but it wasn’t Irin and Rissim’s fault and it wasn’t Murdock McKenzie’s. It was the fault of those people we had to face and defeat, those filthy animals who had made my exile necessary.
“I hope that expression isn’t meant for one of us,” a voice said suddenly, bringing me out of the dark red cloud that had come into being around me. “All we came for was to ask a few questions, but we didn’t intend asking them with swords. Are we going to have to defend ourselves?”
I looked up in surprise at seeing Garth, realized his question had only been half-joking, then glanced around at the weapons-hung meeting room Rissim and I had entered. Six or seven men stood on the far side of it with Rissim, five of them studying me with one degree or another of concern. I understood then that I hadn’t shielded or curtained my mind in hours, and what I’d been feeling toward the people on New Dawn must have been painful for those who could feel it. As a matter of fact there was a light sheen of sweat on Garth’s forehead, which probably meant I’d gotten through to the untalented as well. I could see there was still a lot I had to learn about controlling myself, and if I didn’t learn fast I’d end up as cut off from the people around me as I would be unawakened.
“Gentlemen, I’m sorry,” I said quickly, trying to make them know I really meant it. “I’ve grown too used to having no one but myself able to feel my emotions, the results of living my life behind a curtain. Please let me be the one to shield, at least until I learn to pay attention to what I’m projecting.”
“No, wenda, such shielding would be neither pleasant nor necessary,” one of the group around Rissim said, a faint smile on his face as he held up one hand. “We are none of us harmed by the magnificent strength of your mind, and anger shared is anger eased. We ask only that you take a moment to compose yourself, and then we may begin our discussion.”
The blond man, wearing a long robe over his haddin and no swordbelt, bowed toward me before turning to the men with him, and beside me Garth shook his head.
“The magnificent strength of your mind,” he repeated, his smile on the wry side. “If even I felt it, magnificent is too pale a word. I hope you know how much I appreciate your having spared me that until now.”
“Not as much as you’ll appreciate being spared from now on,” I came back, looking up into his gray eyes. “If I don’t learn to watch myself, I’ll deserve being locked up alone in my head. I see you had no trouble understanding what the man said in Rimilian, so you were given the language. The only thing I don’t understand is what you’re doing here.”
“I’m here as a member of the attack-planning team,” he said, faint surprise in his mind. “As soon as they found out I was Tammad’s intended tactician, they drafted me for their own effort. Didn’t you hear me when I told you that earlier?”
“I suppose I heard it, but too much has happened in between for me to have remembered,” I answered, taking a deep breath. “I’m trying to believe them, Garth, I’m really trying to believe I belong here, but sometimes I feel like I’m digging under a wall that extends down into the ground. If I keep digging I might find the bottom, but I also might find nothing but more wall.”