When I saw the last two savages join the other four, my insides knotted. No matter how good Tammad was, the odds were against his survival. I couldn’t just stand there and watch it happen, I had to do something, but I was too far away I left the side of the camtah, trying not to be noticed by any of the combatants, and moved closer.
By the time I was twenty feet away I was nearly frantic. One of the savages was down with his head split open, but Tammad was bleeding from too many places, and Faddan was dizzy from loss of blood, unable to get to his feet again. The savages were going to launch themselves at Tammad, intending to sacrifice as many as necessary so that one, at least, would reach the mighty I’lenda with a fatal thrust.
I crouched down where I was, forcing calm and gathering every bit of strength I had. I closed my eyes for concentration and dredged up the feelings I’d experienced that day in the rain, of the man who had died with such a great fear of death choking him. The experience was nauseating to feel again, but I ignored my own reactions, intensified the horror and fear, and then projected it at the five savages. Dividing the projection was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but I had to do it.
The savages felt the projection below whatever they’d used to numb themselves, and the impact on them was terrible. They wailed in the deepest despair, feeling the horror of death as they’d never allowed themselves to feel it before. Through it all, I felt the presence of another savage not far from me, but there was nothing I could do about it. My strength was draining fast, but I had to hold the projection as long as possible.
In no more than a matter of minutes, my strength was gone and I slumped to the ground, completely played out. No one but a Prime would have been able to hold a projection even that long, but the thought was hardly comforting. I didn’t know if I’d held it long enough, and I didn’t know what had happened to the savage who had been near me.
I forced my eyes open to see Tammad still engaged with the last two savages, just as an arm circled my waist and pulled me from the ground. The savage laughed insanely as he began carrying me away, and I was even more helpless than ever. The savages were of a size with the l’lendaa, and I couldn’t have managed another projection literally to save my life. I was being carried toward the empty field, and once we got past the last camtahh in line, there would be no one to stop us.
I was trying to find the strength to struggle even slightly when the savage stopped suddenly laughed a maniacal laugh, then dropped me in a heap. I lifted my head to see that Tammad stood in our way his eyes hard, his bloody sword raised high. The savage yipped out a challenge and charged, concerned as usual with nothing but attack. Tammad took the smashing blade on his own broad weapon, then quickly swung his sword down. The savage’s arm flew severed from his shoulder, and a moment later, his head rolled after his arm. My own head was too heavy to hold up any longer, so I let it fall until it reached my wrist.
“How are you hurt?” Tammad demanded, turning me quickly so that I rested against his arm. “What was done to you?”
“I’m not hurt, just tired,” I answered weakly. “Projection is hard work.”
“So it was you who touched the savages,” he said, staring down at me. “From their faces I do not wish to know what was done, but I will know why you came out from safety.”
“I couldn’t reach them from where I was,” I explained reasonably. “I had to get closer to be within range, so they would—” I broke off short, realizing what I’d said only from the look on his face. I was too tired to think clearly and should have kept my big mouth shut.
“Within range,” he repeated flatly a sharper anger adding itself to the controlled rage he already felt. “So you lie as well as disobey. The life of a woman among the savages is not a pleasant one. You risked being cut down, and nearly found yourself taken—all through lack of obedience to my word. It shall not go unnoticed.”
He stood then, looking around to see that the battle was over. Women appeared to tend the wounded, and by really trying, I got to my knees. Tammad noticed my struggle, bent, and lifted me in his arms.
“We return now to our camtah,” he said, but his mind was not as calm as his tone. “You shall eat and rest and restore yourself. When you are as you were, your disobedience shall be punished.”
“You can’t mean that!” I protested as he carried me along in the gloom. “I was only trying to keep you from getting killed! Would you have been happier getting killed?”
“I am l’lenda,” he answered stiffly “and have faced death many times. It is fitting that I should do so.” He paused, looked at me in an odd way, then added, “Sooner would I see this l’lenda dead than you.”
“But you can’t beat me!” I wailed.
Damned barbarian. He did.
15
I lay in my furs behind the closed drapery bored and unhappy, but unable to do anything about it. I’d been ordered in no uncertain terms to stir not an inch, and I had no doubts about what would happen if I disobeyed again.
When we’d gotten back to the pavilion the night before, I’d pulled myself together enough to get some water, clean rags, and salve for Tammad’s souvenirs from the savages. He hadn’t been hurt badly I was relieved to see, but there’s no such thing as being hurt well. I got the wounds washed and medicated, then went after something for us to eat. After the meal and a strong pull on a drishnak skin, Tammad went off to see how Faddan was doing, and I had time to rest and think.
I had no trouble resting, but my thinking was anything but clear. I had risked myself, a Prime of the Centran Amalgamation, for the sake of an essentially worthless man from backward Rimilia. Something like that would have been laughed at and condemned by everyone I knew; it would have been considered insanity. Once, I would have considered it insanity too, but that wasn’t possible any longer. The man had risked himself more than once for me, and if the situation recurred, I would do the same again.
But was that the only reason? Was I just repaying a debt that I owed, canceling an obligation? I tried to tell myself that it was so, and failed miserably I would not have risked myself for just anyone no matter how many times they had saved me, but I hadn’t even thought about myself when I saw Tammad in danger of death. He was more than a worthless man from a backward planet, but just how much more I was afraid to think about. He cared for me, and I cared for him, but how far did that care go?
I brooded until he got back, then had no further opportunity for brooding. He lectured me in a cold voice, telling me exactly how many ways I’d disobeyed him, and didn’t allow any interruptions. After the lecture came the switching, and a royal switching it was. I felt the wrath he had once spoken of, and a good deal more, and by the time he was through I heartily regretted everything I’d been guilty of. I was sent to my furs to contemplate my sins, and Tammad went off to the dendarsa camtah alone. Instead of contemplating, I fell asleep.
The next morning, right after eating, it was my turn to lecture. Tammad had limited his drishnak intake the night before, and was eager to continue converting dendayy, but I wouldn’t be going along with him. He made me describe the mannerisms of the men involved and add my guesswork, then gave me my orders about staying put. Considering how irritated he still was with me, I didn’t even try to argue. I stayed put, but I didn’t particularly like it.
I heard him get back at midday, but he stayed in the front part of the pavilion and I could feel that he was deep in thought. I left the furs and went to the drapery peering around the side of it to see him stretched out on the cushions.