I was saved from ramming one of the hanging plants down his throat by a knock on the garden door. Sid Fowler was on the step. Our unwitting villain held a bunch of narcissi in each hand. Behind him was the milkman, who avoided my eyes and made a production of clanking down bottles in a row.
“All hail, false friend bearing flowers!” came Freddy’s ebullient greeting.
Sid’s head was sunk into his shoulders. “Hope you don’t mind this early-bird visit, Ellie, but I’ve a string of appointments starting at ten.” He turned his gloomy eyes on the flowers. “One of these is for Freddy, the other for Ben. Okay if I go straight up to the bedroom?”
The milkman kept rattling the bottles. “Six pints enough today, Mrs.?”
I drew in a deep breath. “Make it two dozen. I have rather a lot of cooking to do.”
Magdalene agreed to keep mum, but my biggest fear was that Ben would learn that Freddy had thrown in the wooden spoon and left me holding the mixing bowl. I therefore elected to work at home rather than in the sterile sanguinity of Abigail’s kitchen with its bevy of ovens and army of appliances. That way, I could hurl off my apron every half hour or so and race upstairs to perpetuate the myth that I was spending the morning catnapping. One thing in my favour was that we did not have a telephone in our bedroom. Ben could not ring Abigail’s to check on Freddy’s progress.
8:30 A.M. The minutes started ticking off inside my head. I pounded my fists into my hips and blasted Freddy with my eyes as he took his flowers and left.
8:31 A.M. I accompanied Sidney up to the invalid’s chamber. Between landings he told me that he was remorseful about Freddy and should have known life would bomb out. It always did when he began getting a renewed enthusiasm for it. I made consoling noises, but again sensed that misery was meat and drink to Sidney. Magdalene acted edgy on first seeing him, but warmed sufficiently to tell him he looked worn to the bone and shorter than she remembered.
My heart leapt. Ben’s eyes were asking me to stay. Had the memory of the dreadful things we said to each other merged into his hours of delirium? Did he think it was all a nightmare? But how could I stay? His recuperation depended on his not discovering that the fate of Abigail’s was in my hands.
8:40 A.M. Ten loaves of bread multiplied by twenty slices, multiplied by eight made how many mini-sandwiches? And two hundred sausage balls, divided into six batches, times twenty minutes per batch, oven time, took how long?
9:45 A.M. I made a list of items to be prepared and a list of ingredients needed from Abigail’s culinary coffers, then telephoned Bunty. She agreed to transport same in her car, on condition that I make thousands of those little chicken tarts everyone was so crazy about at the wedding reception. My pleasure! What could be easier than mushing up chicken with mayonnaise and filling Tom Thumb pastry shells? First, one skinned the chicken, boned it, and cooked it… I rang Bunty back and requested she purchase six tins of jellied breast.
10:15 A.M. The hands on that clock could have been arrested for speeding. I rolled up my sleeves and heaved cannisters of flour, granulated sugar, and chopped nuts onto the working surface. Telling which was which at a glance wasn’t easy-someone had dressed the cannisters in crocheted cosies. Off they came, but I was not much further forward; someone had washed off the adhesive labels which normally would have advised me whether this white powder was cornflour or icing sugar. Damp finger testing was unhygienic as well as sticky and time-consuming.
Just then Magdalene came in and assembled the scattered cosies into stacks and started to load up a tea tray.
“Well, Giselle, I saw Sidney off the premises and… Don’t think me interfering, but wouldn’t you find it easier if you measured everything out into little bowls before you start mixing up?”
10:45 A.M. I rushed upstairs to let Ben know I was still on the premises, but I couldn’t go beyond the doorway because I realised I had white splotches on my cardigan. So near and yet so far. His black hair and convict stubble emphasised the pallor of his face and the hollows under his eyes. I thought about asking Magdalene to give Ben and me a few moments alone. Instead, I embarked on a time-consuming lie about how I was dusting the drawing room and wouldn’t be up for awhile. Ben pretended to be asleep and Magdalene looked ready for a good forty winks. But when I suggested she go to her room and take a nap, she acted as though I had suggested putting her out on the ice floe for the polar bears.
11:00 A.M. I shushed Tobias out into the garden and warned him that if he tried to reenter I would guillotine him. Back on with the apron and head scarf. A glance at the statues on the window sill was a comfort, knowing that the saints were with me.
12:35 P.M. I took time for a tea break and surveyed the kitchen. A volcano had erupted in its midst, and for what? The batter that was to produce six dozen choux pastry puffs had produced seventeen lone items. Skimpy ones at that.
Footsteps on the stairs! I quailed. Had Magdalene dozed off? If this was Ben, the sight could kill him.
Whooh! False alarm. It was Magdalene. She surveyed the whitened floor and the working surface which would have to be chiselled clean, but didn’t say an unkind word. Would it, I wondered, be easier to like her if she weren’t my mother-in-law?
12:45 P.M. Into the oven with the cheese straws. They looked like worms, but that didn’t mean they would taste like them. Hark! The front doorbell. Bunty at long last. What might it take to bribe her into helping me roll out pastry? I skidded across the flagstones in the hall. Was it futile to hope I could contain the flour upon my person, so as to prevent its absorption into the air? Another peal of the bell. Were Bunty’s arms so full of boxes and bags that she had to lean on the bell with her nose?
I must have looked like an overworked pirate as I flung open the door. But it wasn’t Bunty on the step. Mrs. Amelia Bottomly, gargantuan in cape and deerstalker hat, stood there. She was flanked by the beaming ladies of the Historical Society.
“Hello, hello! Dear Mrs. Haskell!”
“What… what a lovely surprise!” I gasped
“It shouldn’t be. I telephoned last weekend and your charwoman assured me she would convey the message. She did, I trust?”
“Oh, certainly!” I brushed at my apron and the air whitened. Roxie had conveyed that message when my brain was all stuffed up from my cold. I had never given another thought to this invasion.
“Splendid.” Mrs. Bottomly surged inward and onward. At the lift of a ring-laden hand, a swarm of angora berets and assorted hats followed suit. The hall buzzed. I was surrounded by cameras, notebooks, and pencils. Could I throw my apron over my face and refuse to come out? I did not have time for this. I had Ben to consider. Still, this calamity might not be without its silver lining. It did, after all, provide me with a viable excuse for not spending the afternoon with my recovering husband.
I stepped backward to avoid being trampled, then ducked, so as not to be clumped in the face by a free-swinging Kodak camera.
“Super to have you all here.” I gave the scarf a pat as though it were the latest thing in headwear for the mistress of the manor. “But there is one smallish problem.”
“Yes?” A dozen pairs of eyes fixed themselves on me. It occurred to me that I might be in danger of being lynched if I failed to let the tour proceed.