Or rather, she didn’t have time for it. Not for any of it.
“Really? What else is new, Vertigern? You’ve been making a fool of yourself since first we met. Probably long before that. Elayne, is she here?”
“No. She got away. Tried to raise the alarm I think, but it was too late.”
Jeren’s head reeled as she tried to stand. She sat back down in defeat. “Well, that’s something, at least. How long have we been here?”
“Less than a day. I don’t know. They brought food, if you can call it that.”
Yes, here they were in a jail, facing death at best and Vertigern complained about the food. A laugh escaped her lips. She didn’t mean it, but it came nonetheless.
“Jeren, please. Listen to me. He offered to return Alyssa to me. I thought... I thought I could save her and you. I thought—”
“Enough,” she growled, his stupidity souring her stomach. “It doesn’t matter now. What did they say? What did you hear?”
“Nothing. Nothing of worth. Gilliad hasn’t been here, just the guards and such. No one said much of anything.” She heard another sound. Weeping. Vertigern was weeping. Jeren ground her teeth. None of this would help. Not for a moment. “Elayne is free,” he said at last. “At least my Elayne is free.”
The words sobered her, stilled her temper. At least Shan was free. He would have died rather than let her be taken. He would have killed many of them but ultimately he would have died, or have been captured himself like the last time. At least her Shan was free. That was her only comfort.
They waited in silence, in darkness. She couldn’t say if time passed quickly or slowly. There was no way to tell. All she could do was wait.
Once she would have reached out for her owl, but she couldn’t do that anymore. She listened to the sounds of her home, her final home in all likelihood. If Gilliad had his way, she would die and she welcomed it. Better that, surely, that become subject to the dark god, Khain’s to do with as he pleased.
Surely.
But god and goddess, she wanted to live. She wanted Shan back, and Kiah, and Anala. She wanted her friends with her, Mina and Devyn Roh, the old Ariah and the new. She wanted Naul. She wanted Indarin to glare at her when she was being stupid.
But most of all she wanted Shan.
Tears stung her eyes, brimmed up and matted her lashes, spilled down her cheeks. Here, where no one could see her, where she couldn’t even see herself, she could let them fall.
She wept in silence because, really, there was no one to hear. No one that mattered.
The light alerted her some time later, a growing brightness that could mean only one thing. She struggled up, wanting to be fully alert when he came.
The force with which the door was flung back startled her. The lamplight blinded her but she didn’t dare look away. Didn’t dare blink. Gilliad grabbed her physically, lifted her from the ground and laughed in her face. His spittle pebbled her face. He threw her back against the wall.
Hooks and chains hung next to her. Gilliad’s men wasted no time, grabbing her arms and wrenching them over her head to attach the manacles to the wall, pinning her there like a specimen to be examined.
Gilliad’s prize.
“I’ve waited a very long time for this, Jeren,” said her brother. “A very long time indeed.”
“From what I hear you’ve been busy—mass murder, alliances with the Fellna and Khain, abduction, raping an innocent—”
His fist hit her face, the blow snapping her head to one side and sending it crashing back against the wall.
She spat out blood, swallowed down the pain and humiliation. “So you don’t like to be reminded of that.”
Another blow and sparks flashed before her eyes.
“Go on. Do it again.” She wanted him to. If he’d only kill her now it would save her from whatever he had planned for her. And from Khain. “You know you want to, you sick bastard.”
He swung away from her with a snarl. “Bring her in here. I want my beloved sister to see and understand her place now.”
One of the guards ushered in a young girl. Far too young to have so swollen a belly and so gaunt a face. Dark, sunken eyes gazed at Jeren in sheer terror.
“Alyssa needs to understand what you are, sister.”
The girl looked plainly terrified of everything. Of Gilliad, of the guards, of the dungeon and of Jeren. Most of all of Jeren.
How she must look to her? With Shistra-Phail braids, bruises and cuts, dressed in a warrior’s garb with blood dripping from her mouth.
The tattoo burned on her skin, reminding her that she wasn’t just marked as Shistra-Phail anymore. She was more than that. Far more dangerous. And her fingers itched with her power, the things the Seers had taught her coursing through her mind.
Alyssa shook from head to foot.
“Such a gentle soul, Alyssa,” said Gilliad. “She doesn’t really understand what it’s like out there in the world.” He stroked her hair, wrapped it around his hand and tugged hard until she yelped.
“I’m sure you’ve taught her admirably.”
“I was never able to teach you, was I? You had to go and find out for yourself.”
“It turns out there are worse things here.”
Pushing his pregnant wife aside, Gilliad stepped up to her again, his body pressed uncomfortably close to hers. He ran a hand up her side, lingering over her breast until she couldn’t help but recoil, and then grabbed her tunic and ripped the shoulder to reveal the tattoo beneath.
“So it’s true. That stupid bitch really chose you as His bride.”
“So they tell me.”
She fought the revulsion at his touch, the hardness she could feel pressed against her. He wasn’t her brother. Not anymore. She had to keep reminding herself of that. This thing wasn’t her brother. He was a monster. Just another monster and he needed to be put down.
She strained at the irons holding her put. She wasn’t the one to do it. But someone else would. Someone would succeed where she had failed. Someone would kill him. Elayne perhaps. Or Shan.
Her voice echoed back to her from long ago, on the outskirts of Brightling’s Dale, scared and alone. Drop out of the sky, Shan. Please! Do as he says and save me!
But there was no sky this far beneath River Holt. Only stone and pain and cruelty.
Only Gilliad’s law.
“You know what?” Gilliad leaned in closer, his body squashing hers to the wall, touching her everywhere, body and mind. “I think I still deserve to have you first. For old time’s sake.”
Horror seized her, the memory of his touches on the balcony when he had first held her prisoner, his savage kiss and vicious hands. With all the force she could muster, Jeren slammed her head forward into his. Pain blinded her, dizzied her, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered because he fell back, away from her, cursing and clutching his nose. Blood pumped from between his fingers and his guards caught him, steadying him on his feet.
Jeren wanted to laugh but it hurt too much. Far too much.
“That’s the way it’s going to be, is it? You two,” he snapped at the guards by the door. “Go and demonstrate what will happen if my sister continues to defy me. Now!”
She listened, unable to breathe, as they went to the next cell, unlocked the door and the next thing she knew Vertigern was screaming. Not just screaming. Howling in agony.
“No!” Alyssa shouted. She fell to her knees, clawing at Gilliad’s leg. “Please, my lord. Please, not my brother. Please, I beg you!”
The only reason he didn’t kick her aside was the child in her womb. Jeren saw that in his insane eyes as well.