He slid his hand down my leg slowly and gently tried to lift my boot off. I was shivering but I wasn’t cold. I was not used to this closeness and every touch felt charged. I winced as he carefully pulled it. The blood was drying and the boot and sock were stuck to each other and my foot. He dropped it down and I watched as it bounced off branches and landed amongst the wolves. They jumped back then leaned in to sniff it, shaking their heads in frustration when they realized it wasn’t attached to one of us. Then Joseph started working his fingers into my sock. I shuddered.
“Please leave it! It has stopped bleeding,” I said a little too grumpily. He let my foot fall and I let out a small squeak in pain.
“Are you all right?” His hand was searching for my face. I held still. He traced my lips with his finger. “I can’t see you; you have to tell me if this is ok.” I wasn’t sure what he meant. Was he asking me if my foot was ok, or was he asking if his hand on my face, his other hand gripped tightly around my waist, was ok? I didn’t know, so I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to feel this way but a very big part of me was more content than I had ever been—which was ridiculous given our situation. We had each other captive; there was no running from him now.
“I can see you,” I said. He was smoothing my hair back from my face, running his hand down my neck. Warmth was all I could feel, like liquid gold running through my veins.
“You must be part wolf,” he joked. I could feel his breath, warm, drawing me in. His face lit up by the moon, eyes earnest, painful in their restraint. I knew I should stop him. I knew what he wanted, and that he wasn’t going to get it from me. His lips were brushing my neck. I reacted, giggling. It tickled.
Suddenly, the sound of tearing fabric interrupted us. Initially panicked, thinking someone had fallen from their tree, I saw the wolves had moved on to our packs. I could hear plastic wrappers being torn open and wolves growling and fighting over our dried meat and bread.
“There go our supplies,” yelled Deshi from the other tree. I was staring down at the ground, straining to see what the wild animals had done. They didn’t seem so scary this far up. They were just puffs of fur moving around each other in a destructive dance. Joseph’s hand was pulling my face towards his own. He was clumsy because he couldn’t see, but his intent was clear. I went rigid. He sensed my hesitation and spoke.
“Please, I need to do this. I need to finish it.” He sounded so determined.
“Finish what?” I asked, confused.
“I owe you this kiss; I need to kiss you back. The way I should have back in Pau,” he said sincerely, nervously. Like he had practiced this speech before. It wasn’t like him to be nervous. I couldn’t help myself.
“Geez, could you be any sappier?” I laughed. I could see him smiling, his strong jaw and cheeks looking more angular in the moonlight. And then his lips were on mine and I forgot everything. Every logical argument for why this shouldn’t happen flew out my head. We were both overcome. It was more than I had expected, more intense, almost to the point of being painful. I couldn’t pull away. He was never going to pull away. He was right. This was what it should have been like the first time.
I don’t know how long it lasted. It could have been a minute—it could have been hours. Slowly though, we disconnected from one another. I forgot where I was and over balanced, teetering backwards just slightly, he had me though. I felt like, perhaps, he would always have me. He held me tightly, running his fingers gently up and down my arm and kissing me lightly on the neck. I buried my head in his chest, listening to his heart, feeling the rise and fall as he breathed. I wondered if we needed to speak. Should I say something? Was he going to say something? The biggest question would spoil everything, so I left it. I wanted to stay here, with him, as long as I could. The gold spread through my body. Like a drug, it found its way through every part of me, threatening to dislodge that stone in my heart.
Somehow, I must have drifted off, because when I opened my eyes, it was dawn. I felt stiff and achy. My ankle was throbbing and crusty with blood. Joseph was awake. He was looking down at me, eyes protective, but with a slight smile on his face.
“How are you feeling?” he said. He was still holding me tight. I was still curled up in his lap, very reluctant to move at all. This was the safest place in the world to me; I didn’t want to give it up.
“I’m fine,” I said croakily. I took his hand in mine and kissed it. He held out my arm to inspect it and traced the numerous scrapes and scratches lightly with his fingers, sending more shivers through me.
“Are you cold?” he asked. I shook my head, attempting to make myself smaller, so he could wrap himself even more tightly around me.
I looked down through the branches. The wolves were gone but they had left a huge mess. Everything was destroyed. The others were already out of the tree. Clara was standing with her hands on her hips, arching her back and beaming at us. She looked very tired.
“Good morning, you two,” she said. I didn’t like her tone. Joseph eased me off his lap and helped me climb down from the tree. The stench burned my nostrils as soon as my good foot hit the ground. The wolves had certainly ‘marked’ their territory.
I surveyed the torn bags and crumbs of food, shaking my head. There was very little we could salvage. Clara sidled up to me, slipped her arm in mine and whispered in my ear, “Joseph and Rosa sitting in a tree k…i…s…s.” I cringed. I gave her a look, which she understood to mean: I don’t care if you’re pregnant; if you finish that sentence, I’m going to finish you. She stopped and grinned at me. Threats never worked with her. Joseph jumped to the ground with ease, barely able to control his glee. Then Clara saw my foot.
I’ve never had someone fuss over me so much. She sat me down and cleaned the wound, chastising me constantly for lying to her. I pointed out that it was Joseph that lied to her. She whacked the back of his legs as he passed. “Ouch!” he said in mock pain. Their mood was easy to read, like co-conspirators, they just had to give each other a knowing look to work out what the other was thinking. She may as well have congratulated him. But now that I was back on the ground, reality was creeping back in. I was a bit embarrassed. Conscious that maybe the others knew as well. Although, they didn’t seem to show it. They were too concerned with sifting through the chaos our four-legged pursuers had left for us.
Looking at the bite marks, it seemed I was pretty lucky. I had two neat gashes where the wolf’s teeth had connected with my flesh and dragged across it as Joseph pulled me up. They weren’t too deep. I shut my eyes, remembering the pain as the beast had sunk its fangs into my ankle. The bleeding had stopped. It was going to be hard to walk on though. While Clara was bandaging it up with some torn-up scraps of fabric she had found, care of the wolves, Alexei was busy scanning his reader. He said we needed to get moving. We needed to evacuate the wolves’ territory before they returned. It would mean walking all day, with very little breaks.
Joseph scooped me up in his arms; he touched his forehead to mine affectionately. Our eyes connected—it was easy to get lost in those green eyes. But I was aware that everyone was looking at us. I asked him to put me down. I would walk, at least, for a while. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night and we all needed to save our energy. He scrounged around and presented me with a long piece of wood with my missing boot on the end of it. I tried to shove the boot on my foot but it was hard with all the bandages. Joseph walked towards me. “Sit down,” he ordered. I obeyed. Gently he lifted my leg, sliding both hands down from my knee to my foot, slowly. I trembled. He balanced my foot on his bended knee and loosened the laces on my shoe. As he positioned my shoe, he winked. As infuriating as ever. “You’re blushing,” he whispered, as he helped me to my feet and handed me the walking stick. I tried to hit him with the stick but he was too fast for me. He ducked and ran to the front of our group, consulting Alexei about what we needed to do next. Although, he may as well have skipped off for how pleased he was with himself.