“Yes,” Matthew went on, averting his gaze. “I’ve been having a serious think about us, and I think that we need to go back 274 A Clean Break – Not Without an Argument to being friends. Just friends. You know that I’m very fond of you, you know that. But I think that we’re in different places.
We have different plans. I want to settle down and you . . . you, quite rightly, don’t really want that, do you? You’re younger. It’s natural.”
Pat listened attentively. Her reaction was one of immense relief, but she did not want Matthew to see that. She hoped that she sounded sufficiently concerned.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Yes, I think so.”
She sighed. “You’ve been very kind to me, Matthew. And always thoughtful.”
Matthew blushed.
“But you’re probably right,” Pat went on quickly. “You need something I can’t give you.”
“I’m glad you understand.” He paused. “So you’re not too upset?”
“No . . . I mean of course I’m sorry, but I’ll get over it. And I really think it’s for the best.”
His relief was palpable. It had been far easier than he had imagined.
“And I hope that you find somebody else, Matthew. I really hope that. You deserve somebody nice, somebody who wants what you want.” She looked at him. Poor Matthew. He would find it hard to get somebody else.
Matthew hesitated. He had not been sure whether he should mention Elspeth to her, but now it struck him that it would be almost dishonest not to do so, now that she had mentioned the possibility. “In actual fact,” he ventured, “I’ve met somebody.
Just a few days ago.”
Pat gave a start. “You’ve met another girl?”
“Yes. She’s a teacher. She came into the gallery, and, well, it just happened. We fell for each other.”
Pat said nothing for a moment. For each other? Or was it more a case of Matthew doing the falling? The problem, she thought, was that nobody would fall for Matthew just like that.
A Clean Break – Not Without an Argument 275
He was very kind; he was very gentle; but he was not the sort for whom women fell – they simply did not. The thought was a disloyal one, and she tried to put it out of her mind. So she asked Matthew who she was.
“She’s older than you are,” said Matthew. “She’s about my age, or even a year or two older. I don’t know exactly. And she’s called Elspeth Harmony.”
Pat nodded. “Go on.”
“Well, I don’t really know too much about her,” Matthew continued. “Except that she likes china. I bought her a Meissen figure, in fact. From The Thrie Estaits down the road.”
Pat stared at him. “You bought her a Meissen figure?”
“Yes. She loved it. And it was really special.”
Pat’s voice was now considerably quieter. “And me?” she asked.
“What did you ever buy me?”
Matthew was taken aback by this question. “Look,” he said,
“I didn’t know we counted presents.”
“No, we don’t,” she said. “But if I did count . . . well, it wouldn’t come to much. It would come to nothing, actually.”
“Don’t be ridiculous . . .”
“Oh, you think that’s ridiculous?” There was new spirit in her voice. “I’m being ridiculous in thinking that it’s a bit strange that you know her for – how long? – two days, and you buy her a Meissen figure. You know me for over a year, two years really, and you buy me nothing. Nothing. When’s my birthday, Matthew? Go on, tell me when my birthday is.”
“You mean you’ve forgotten?”
“Don’t try to be funny,” she said, her voice now raised. “You can’t pull it off, Matthew. Sitting there in that beige sweater, trying to be funny.”
“It’s not beige,” said Matthew sharply. “It’s distressed oatmeal.”
“Distressed oatmeal!” Pat countered. “Distressed beige. That’s your trouble, Matthew. I’m sorry, but your clothes . . .” she paused, seeming to search for the right term. “Your clothes, Matthew, are tragic, really tragic.”
Matthew looked away. “You think I’m tragic, do you?”
276 A Clean Break – Not Without an Argument Pat did not think about what she was saying. But she was smarting over the question of presents. “Yes, I do. And she must be really tragic, this Elspeth Meissen.”
“She’s not called Meissen,” he said. “The figure was Meissen.
And if I’m tragic, then what does that make you? The girlfriend of a tragedy?”
“That’s really childish!”
Neither said anything. Both were surprised by the sudden exchange of insults. And both regretted it. Suddenly, Pat reached out and put her hand on Matthew’s arm. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“We’re being really silly about this. It’s my fault.”
Matthew turned and gave her hand an affectionate squeeze.
“No, it’s mine. And I’m sorry too.”
Pat smiled. “I’ll never say anything like that to you again. I promise.”
“Me too,” Matthew responded. “And I’d like to give you something to . . . to make up for my insensitivity.”
He rose to his feet and looked about the gallery. On the wall opposite him was a painting that Pat had admired. He walked across the room and took it off the wall. He gave it to her.
She said, “This is far too expensive. You can’t give this to me.”
He shook his head. “Yes I can. I want you to have it.”
She took the painting from him. It was heavier than she had imagined it would be – heavy in its expansive gilt frame. Guilt frame, she thought, his – or mine?
82. A Shopping Trip for a Special Dinner Date When Matthew locked up the gallery and went out onto Dundas Street that evening, he felt almost light-headed with relief. He had dreaded the break-up with Pat. He had imagined that there would be recriminations, threats, tears, and there had been none of that, unless, of course, one counted the brief and really rather silly exchange over beige and distressed oatmeal. And one should not really make much of such an adolescent flare-up, in which nothing really hurtful was said, and which led, anyway, to immediate apologies.
After Matthew had given Pat the painting – which was a rather nice little Stanley Spencer watercolour, a generous present by any standards – they had finished their conversation with what Matthew described as housekeeping matters.
Pat should not feel that she should give up her part-time job at the gallery; that position had nothing to do with their relationship, and he did not think it would be at all difficult for them to continue to see one another as colleagues and friends.
Pat agreed, but thought that she would consider it anyway. Her university work was becoming more pressing, and she was not sure how much time she could devote to working in the gallery.
But if she did find that she had to give the job up, or do fewer hours, she had a friend in the same degree course who was currently doing bar work and who would love to have a change.
Matthew thanked her for this. “You’ve never let me down,” he said. “Never.”
With that disposed of, the rest of the morning had passed in amicable companionship, with only the occasional reference to their new situation.
“You’ll find somebody else,” said Matthew at one point.
“There are plenty of boys. Plenty.”
“Not all of them are nice,” said Pat. “In fact, some of them are really awful.”
Matthew nodded. “Wolf, for example.”
278 A Shopping Trip for a Special Dinner Date Pat said nothing.
“And others,” said Matthew quickly. “But there are some nice ones. And you’ll meet them, I’m sure.”
“I don’t know if I want to,” said Pat. “I think I might have a boy-free time for a while. It’s nice to be single, you know. It’s